Kirei Shiroi Hana

Rating: 17+

Genre: drama

Warnings: death

Note: "Second beautiful, white flower just doesn't exist."

I'm standing next to you and I'm looking at your sleeping face. Whiteness of your clothes makes an illusion that they're brighter than a snow which is slowly falling from the sky. We have beginning of the March, after all, right?

Your hair scattered on the pillow, white as a snow, but darker than your clothes. Maybe you are an angel? On your face I can see a weak shadow of smile. Just as we met for the first time. We were kids, do you remember? But the doors to adulthood closed behind us and the past doesn't matter.

But still we should care about illnesses. And your heart had been living with it for a long time. But then it stopped during your labor and broke. It seriously stopped.

You're dead.

Your husband is standing with your newborn daughter. A girl has your eyes, you know? I kiss you on the forehead and I feel tears in my eyes again. I straighten up and finally leave you.

The voice of my beloved spouse is the last thing which I hear before diving in the darkness.

When I'm awake, I'm in home already. I sit down on the bed and I take a glass of water from my spouse's hands.

"Why good people are dying so young?" I ask, looking at my spouse's eyes, which are as sad as mine.

"When you're on the meadow, which flowers do you pick up first?" I hear a question.

I'm a little confused, because I don't understand, what's going on...

"The most beautiful..." I reply after a moment.

"So you know, why" my spouse smiles sadly.

I'm glad that I didn't lose love of my life, but nothing can replace my friendship with you.

Second beautiful, white flower just doesn't exist.

The end

White Snow

Band: UNiTE., mentioned Canzel, xTripx, D=OUT, DIV, Acme and Kameleo

Pairing: Haku&Mio, mentioned Naoto&Shougo, Icchi&Ruli, Naoto&Mio, Haku&Yukimi, Satoshi&Shougo + others

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, soft angst

Warnings: main character's melancholy

Note: A story about two broken hearts, which comforted each other.

Haku was sitting on the floor, trying to tune his bass. Icchi crouched down beside him, watching him closely.

"You should tell him already" he said after a moment.

Haku finched, startled.

"Who?" the bassist asked slowly.

He obviously didn't undestand, what Icchi was talking about.

"You really don't know?" Icchi laughed, smiling friendly and meanly at the same time. "Yukimi, of course. Since when you have this crush on him, hmm?"

"For too long" mumbled Ruli, smacking an unlit cigarette in his mouth.

He probably couldn't decide whether to smoke now or in a moment.

"Alright, alright" said Haku and sighed. "I'll go to him after the concert, okay?"

"Of course!" Icchi jumped up and clapped like a little child. "Take your life into your own hands, you're not a teenager anymore~!"

"Yup, he isn't" Ruli took the cigarette out of his mouth and left, finally deciding to smoke it.

After the concert Haku walked to Yukimi and grabbed his arm, stoping him for a moment. He probably wanted to tell him everything and explain, what he felt, but he didn't do it. He just kissed Yukimi without a warning.

Our staff shook their heads and returned to doing their business, Icchi smiled radiantly, but a little meanly and Ruli...

...and Ruli gave me a sympathetic look.

I stood there staring at Haku and Yukimi as if they were my whole world. Or basically the world and someone who destroyed it. It covered itself with crystal white snow and fell into a long winter sleep.

I don't know since when I loved Haku. Maybe from the first meeting? I know I told him about it a few months ago. And I got dumped, because Hiroshi's heart was already occupied. Not by me...

And now I was standing there and watching Yukimi pull away from Haku and say he has been waiting for this for a long time. Hiroshi put his arm around him and they happily went to the wardrobe. And I couldn't move, every cell in my body screamed in emotional pain.

"It's a little sad" Icchi smiled meanacingly, standing next to me. "But I couldn't watch you get your hopes up. It was time to end this, leader."

"You get the most enjoyment out of it anyway" I said softly.

The squeezed throat made it impossible for me to make a louder sound.

"Maybe I'm just being mean?" Icchi shrugged, directing his steps towards the dressing room. "Move, or people will start to think you're having a seizure."

"Icchi" Ruli scolded him and shot him a look that made it clear that if the vocalist didn't shut up soon, he would be the bottom.

"Alright, alright. I'll go. Hurry up, a cold beer is waiting for us" Icchi stretched and went away.

Ruli walked to me and put a hand on my shoulder, but I shook it off.

"I'm okay, you don't have to..." I stopped, when Ruli hugged me. "What are you doing?"

"I'm so sorry about him. And about Yukimi. And about Haku" he said calmly, trying to stroke my spiky hair. "I can talk with Icchi about his problems with his empathy, if you want."

"You don't have to. And now, let me go" I gave Ruli a fake smile and pulled him away. "Can we go already?"

"Yes" Ruli smiled back, but his smile was real, not like mine.

And so began the several years of pretending that everything was fine, that I'm not falling apart slowly to pieces, and that smile isn't just a mask.

* * *

This state was going on and on, and I had the feeling that I would never get you out of my head again.

I've been daydreaming at some boring party with a drink in my hand, although I don't like alcohol. Lin was talking to Chobi, Yui was playing PSP with Hikaru sleeping on his lap. You were hiding somewhere with Yukimi again, and it is probably in the least permitted place you could have sex in. As usual.

"At this moment of the party it's getting boring, right?" I heard a voice next to me. "Everyone is drunk and not responding."

"How do you know that I'm not drunk?" I asked.

Ena, xTRiPx's drummer, just laughed.

"You've been sitting here for hours, drinking one drink, Mio."

"You're a good observer" I said, stirring the straw in my glass.

"Why are you sad?" asked Ena and I frowned slightly.

"I'm not sad" I said.

"You are" said Ena firmly and cast a longing look at Shougo, who was sitting with Satoshi at the table and giggling like a teenager, probably thinking something the drummer said was very funny. "And I know very well, why."

"You still love him?" I whispered.

I knew these two had been together once, but they broke up under not very clear circumstances.

Ena just nodded, and I nudged his shoulder.

"Just don't show it."

"I'm trying not to."

"I'm trying as well."

"But it's hard."

"And you tried..."

"I tried."

"And you did it?"

"No."

"Neither did I."

"Scary, isn't it?" Ena sighed, staring at his almost empty cup. "I don't even like alcohol, but when I look at them, I..."

"...have to drink this?" I finished his thoughts.

He nodded again.

"At least you're cute. You have the rights" Ena laughed shortly.

"I'm not cute!" I was offended, but he put a finger on my lips.

"Should I prove it?" he asked, smirking.

Alcohol, fake relationships and sleeping around. The only way to forget.

And, in some absurd way, to awaken the hope that someday everything will be okay...

* * *

I felt that Haku embraced me, when I tried to tune up my guitar before the concert.

"Nee, Ryosuke?" Haku pulled one of the strings. "Smile."

"What?" I looked at him, confused.

"Smile. I don't like, when you're sad" said Haku.

"I'm not sad. I'm just focused" I explained, putting away my guitar on the sofa. "I'm happy, don't worry."

"You didn't lie just not to worry me, right?"

"I wouldn't dare lying to you."

Haku smiled radiantly, helping me to get up. Even if almost three years passed, I still couldn't believe that he's really by my side. I can touch him. I can hug him. I can do  everything.

After the festival I was sitting a little bored, when Haku and everyone else were drinking like it was the end of the world as we know it. Or as if there were some drinking competition.

Well, everyone besides Sana.

"Hey, Mio" a little drunk Shougo, or maybe even not just a little, sat down next to me on the sofa. "'Sup?"

"Everything is okay" I replied, leaning on Haku's shoulder, when he was talking with Reika about bassists' things.

I didn't understand even a word from this conversation.

"Are you sure?" asked Ena a'ka Naoto, putting a hand on Shougo's shoulder.

I smiled radiantly, nodding.

"Yes, I'm sure."

And Naoto, smiling to his memories, picked up Shougo and walked towards the door.

"What the hell are you doing, for the dogs' sake?!"

"We're gonna go home, princess. Too much alcohol tonight for you."

"We have to take Chisa with us!"

"Alright, alright. I don't want to have my head torn off by a small dumpling almost twenty centimeters shorter than me, don't worry."

And we, for an unknown reason, couldn't stop laughing because of this conversation.

However, that doesn't change the fact that everything was really okay and my laugh finally became real.

The end

Shadow in the Heart

Rating: 17+

Genre: criminal

Warnings: violence, death

Note: Narrator returns home and has to face with their psycho partner.

I enter the house and I see you. You sit in front of the TV and stare blankly at the screen.

Can you still see something? Can you see... me?

Or you stopped seeing me a long time ago?

I put shopping bags on the cupboard in the kitchen and start to unpack groceries to cupboards and fridge.

I feel anxious.

I'm always under valerian, melissa and other drugs, because my weak nerves can't stand up to what's going on in my own life. My own home.

I look at my vibrating phone, laying on the cupboard. Of course, my best friend. As always. As if he felt in some way that I don't feel good. As if he wanted to warn me about me...

Because it's only my fault. Only I can't escape this hell. Everybody tried to save me a long time ago, trying to explain to me that something is wrong with you.

And now bruises on my wrists and shoulders can confirm it. These on the neck too. And on the legs...

And all these scars left after your fingernails grew too long...

I take a deep breath as I straighten my shirt sleeves. I'm dizzy. I have to calm down. I need to not think about how you're killing my mental health, both physically and mentally. Especially mentally...

I put my phone in my pocket, finish unpacking my groceries and head to the living room. I sit in the armchair and start to watch this show about the world most expensive drumsets, pretending to be interested in it.

"You hate me, right?" you ask suddenly.

I trembled, because of fear. I look into your sad eyes which I have been looking with love into for a long time. And which, ironically, I still love.

"What are you talking about, darling?" I smile gently to you.

When you smiled for the last time...?

"You're lying" you say and stand up.

You won't punch me, you never did. But probably you'll grab my wrist, squeeze it until I start crying and lead me to the bedroom. And you'll show me who is the boss here.

I close my eyes, preparing for what is about to happen, but... You're leaving. I open my eyes and I see that you seriously left. What means only one thing.

You went for a knife again.

I go to the bedroom and, as I thought, I find you on the floor, cutting your wrist in amock.

Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut...

"Stop it" I say firmly.

You look at me, observing me.

You make another two cuts without looking on your hand. You're still looking at me.

"You're gonna hurt yourself" I come to you and put my hand on the knife. "Don't do it."

I try to take the knife from you, but I can't.

A phone is calling once again. You pull it out it from my pocket and look at the screen.

"You know, who's calling? Your best friend" you put a phone on the floor. "How typical. The knight has to protect his princess, even if she has her prince already."

I blink in confusion, not understanding what are you talking about.

I still hold that damn knife and its blade cuts my hand.

I try to take it out of your hand, but...

...I don't know if it was you who stabbed me or if it was my fault that the knife stabbed my chest by accident.

I close my eyes and drop to the floor.

It hurts. It fucking hurts so much.

Please, help me. Help me! I'm begging you!

I hear you say my name and feel you pull the knife out of my body. I can feel your hand on my cheek. You smear the blood on it, as you try to wipe my tears from it.

I'm afraid. I'm fucking scared. Someone has to save me. Someone help me!

The last sound I hear is that stupid phone ringing again.

I can't pick up the phone, my friend. Please, forgive me...

The end