Lonelines is sometimes just an illusion

Band: Kagrra,

Pairing: Isshi&Nao

Rating: 17+

Genre: slice of Life, angst

Warnings: paranormal existence, death

Note: "People asked me for half of my life if I'm feeling lonely. If I don't want to find someone to replace you. I wouldn't be able to find anyone to replace you. It's impossible. I cannot give away my heart to someone else. You'd have to give it back to me first."

I remember that day like through the fog.

Information, running, letters, the sound of knees hitting the floor.

Later it only got worse. I felt like in a trance. I heard your voice, I saw your smile, I felt your hands on my shoulders. People passed me by like shadows, like they didn't even exist. They spoke to me, but I didn't hear them. Sometimes I thought they're screaming at me, but I didn't pay attention to them. This lasted for two weeks.

"Have you ever thought about how wpuld it be to live alone?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"You're saying I should imagine what would it be like if we'd break up? We went through it once. It seemed to do us some good, but no one knows how it could end for us."

"If it didn't end like that? If we wouldn't find you back then?"

"Yamiyo, listen. There's a lot of time left to my death. You'll wave to live with me for tens of years."

"Shino..."

"Yes?"

"You promise you'll outlive me?"

"Why do you ask me this?"

"I cannot imagine a life without you. When I try, you appear in it anyway."

"You really worry about such things all the time? Focus on the present, Yamiyo. It's the most important time. There's no future without present time."

We had this conversation long ago. We had no idea you were wrong. No one knew and Miss Death was already around the corner, waiting for a moment to start chasing you.

I remember how I broke out from under the caring wings our friends. I went to the empty house. Maybe not quite empty, because Otaki instantly climbed on my lap and your other pets looked at me in confusion. Like they wanted to know why I didn't bring you home with me. Those were only pets. They wouldn't understand even if I explained it to them. I, myself, didn't understand it. I was so scared of the silence around me I had no strenght to talk with anyone.

Loneliness. Even though everyone called me and came to visit, to talk... I felt lonely anyway. Like my soul had died with you and left the empty body behind.

I visited the cementary everyday. This became my habit since we buried you. Every day about the same time I was standing over your grave. On the hour Akiya and Tora have found you.

I tried not to cry, but I couldn't take it anymore that day. Two months have passed already and I was still thinking about your words.

"You'll never be lonely again, Yamiyo. Or at least I won't leave you alone."

You left me. You left me and went to the other side, not taking me with you or at least letting me know that you'll go there. Why didn't you tell me?

I fell on my knees. I didn't know what was going on with me for the last few hours. I made myself some tea, then completely forgot about it. Windows closed by themselves, dogs were barking for no reason. I woke up in bed, even though I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up for a moment at night and I felt your touch and heard your calming voice.

"Sleep, I'm with you."

This was bigger than me. Everything about it was bigger than me. I started crying out of hopelesness, because I wasn't and won't ever be a God to be able to bring you back to life. This will never happen.

But then I felt your hand on my shoulder. I turned around and I saw you. You were smiling and I started t wonder if it was really you.

You stayed with me. You didn't leave this time.

You started telling about this to different people. Some of them believed and some didn't. One person went insane and a few years later they committed suicide.

Yes, he killed himself. He didn't know suicide victims will never see the light. He didn't even believe there's life after death, so he had no clue he'll get punished for killing himself. Sad, but true.

Every time I came to his grave, he asked me to help him get out from that flat, where some higher force held him and let him on the cementary only when someone visited him. Sadly, I couldn't help him.

Well, do you remember his funeral, Shino? His mother fainted in the arms of his father. His brother kept his face covered with his hands, bandmates didn't now what to do with themselves. Later you told me, he was standing there, shocked, but not feeling any compassion towards anyone. He realized what had he done only after you told him.

People asked me for half of my life if I'm feeling lonely. If I don't want to find someone to replace you. You even asked me about this yourself. How many uears have passed from your death back then. Ten? Eleven? Something like that, right?

"Sometimes I feel bad about the way I treated Aoi back then. Maybe you'd be happy with him..."

"Are you a dummy? I'd rather be with you, Shino. Even if you're a ghost. I'd be with you even if you didn't come back. I wouldn't be able to find anyone to replace you. It's impossible. I cannot give away my heart to someone else."

"Why?"

"You have it. You'd have to give it back to me first."

Remember? You froze back then. You let me out and I didn't know, why. I looked for you in the dark until I finally touched you. You were crying. When I asked why, you said you had no idea someone could love you so much.

I died a few days after one of your death anniversaries.

"It's a starrless night, Shino."

"I see."

"All stars have disappeared."

"I'd say they appeared."

"Right. Maybe one finally should appear?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm sleepy."

"Should I carry you to the beedroom?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes.

"You know, Shino?"

"Yes, Yamiyo?"

I stood next to you, while you were still looking at my body.

"I love you, Shinohara."

You looked at me, shocked.

"Your soul is young."

"So is yours. It's even younger than your body when you died, honey."

"Do souls age only to a certain moment?"

"Apparently. Let's go look for our friends."

They weren't mad we're going away. Emotions took over them only just at my funeral.

"They will also die one day. Look, Akiya's hair is almost white, Shin's health is acting up and Izumi is hardly walking. Don't worry. They'll join us soon."

Put rose boquet on the grave and grabbed your hand.

"Together?"

"Always."

I don't know what I'll see on the other side, behind the warm light, we're running through. I only know I won't be alone there.

The end

One day out of life

Band: 168 -one sixty eight-&Migimimi sleep tight, Kagrra, in the background

Pairing: Aoi&Ryohei, mentioned Isshi&Nao

Rating: 16+

Genre: soft angst with happy ending

Series: "Life with a Ghost"

Warnings: paranormal existence, melancholy of main character

Note: Aoi is in love with Nao, but then he realizes that it's probably not true.

I wake up. Being woken up by your voice makes me happy*. So I go to make myself a breakfast, coffee, then I sit in my armchair. I turn on the music quietly, so I won't wake up my roommate. He wakes up at the same hour no matter if it's his work day or not. That's why sometimes he wakes me up, which is a little annoying.

I put on my vest, then shoes, then I poke my roommate's arm.

"Wake up." I say, which makes him jump up in fear.

I took my revenge. I can leave.

Entering the studio, I say "hi" to everyone and I look for you. You're sitting there and looking into the abyss. I know wery well what are you looking at. You can't see him now, but you know he's there. Maybe he told you, or maybe you figured that out. Anyway, "nothing" is more fascinating for you than me.

I sit next to you and we talk. I like talking with you. I feel like in some idyllic land full of flower I'm not allergic to.

"Are you listening to me?" you ask.

Ah, right. I forgot to mention I often trail off during our talks.

I pull out my hand, wanting to touch you. Caress your cheek, play with your hair, put a finger on your lip or once again, that one last time, kiss your lips.

I feel like I'm Werter** and you are my Lotta. I'm almost touching you, but then I remember there's also Albert**. I take away my hand and I get up hastily.

"Let's start working." I say with a fake smile.

While we say "goodbye" to eachother I get the feeling you're sad. Or maybe it's that stupid hope in my heart.

I leave the studio quickly. I'm looking for my car at the parking... Yes, I forgot, where I parked. I have holes in my memory because of you. Looking for the car, I feel someone's hand on my arm.

"Stop." says Albert, smiling lightly. "Don't be unhappy, because Yamiyo is worried."

"So let me..." I begin, but Albert disappears.

I go back home. I throw myself on the bed wanting to cry, then I hear my roommate's voice.

"Yes, he doesn't notice that. Yes, he have fallen in love with Nao. And I have to cheer him up. Maybe I could if it wasn't Aoi's fifth crush this year. And it's only July!"

I realize, he's not aware that I came back home.

"What can I do about it? I won't..." my roommate gets quiet for a moment. "I won't tell him that I still love him and I didn't have any financial problems and I want it all to... Come back. But he wants Nao. Earlier it was Teruki, our neighbour, and even earlier..."

"Ryohei?" I stand in his room's doorway and look at him confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Crap." Ryohei's cellphone fall out of his hand and breaks when it hits the floor. "Aoi, listen, I know that..."

Maybe it was an impulse or maybe my love for you was only an illusion, which hid my true feelings.

Actually Ryohei's lips are sweeter than yours and you maybe never were my Lotta in the first place, Yamada.

The end

*Aoi had set the that part of "wanna see u", where Nao sings as his alarm sound.

**Werter, Albert and Lotta are characters of a story called "The Sorrows Of Young Werter", Werter falls in love with Lotta, who's engaged to Albert. Because he can't be with the one he loves, Werter writes depressive letters to his friend Wilhelm, then he commits suicide.

Few rules to remember

Band: Kagrra,, 168 -one sixty eight-

Pairing: Isshi&Nao

Rating: 16+

Genre: comedy, romance

Series: "Life with a Ghost"

Warnings: violence, paranormal existence

Note: Aoi should listen to ghosts~

Rule 1. Never hit on Nao.

"Nao-chan!" Aoi jumped into confused Nao's arms, when he crossed the doorway to the studio. "I didn't have inspiration yesterday, but I thought about you and I felt inspired, you know?"

"That's nice..." Nao smiled in an... apologetic way?

Aoi jumped to his piece, leaving the bassist slightly abashed.

Rule 2. Never ever hit on Nao.

"Nao-chan, let's go out somewhere after recording this single." proposed Aoi, bending over Nao's arm.

"Yeah, we can go." replied Nao, smiling lightly.

Rule 3. Are you even reading those rules, Aoi?

"Nao-chan, have you noticed how beautiful is the sky tonight?" asked Aoi, when they went outside. - Stars are reflecting in your eyes and making them look like they're glowing with happiness.

"I prefer starless nights." said Nao, playing with his fingers.

"Why?" asked Aoi.

"Because you can imagine stars on the sky and imagination gives us unlimited possibilities." explained Nao, smiling ligtly.

"That makes sense." said Aoi. "Beautifully said, Nao-chan."

"Those are not mine words." denied Nao. "Someone else told me this. Before he started to call me "Yamiyo"."

Rule 4. Get the idea, Aoi.

Next day Nao was tuning his bass, when he felt Aoi's breath on his neck.

"How many people told you, you have beautiful hands?" asked Aoi, grabbing Nao's hands.

"No one told me that and that's why I think you ran out of ideas for pick-up lines." said Nao, facing Aoi.

"Why do you think so?" Asked Aoi, puting his hand on Nao's cheek.

"Aoi, stop." said Nao, gritting his teeth.

Rule 5. If Nao stopped calling you "Ao-chan", please, for the love of gods piss of off him.

"But why, Nao-chan?" asked Aoi, bending over Nao, almost making their lips touch. "You need to get out of this."

"I'd need two hundred years for that." said Nao, trying to move away from him.

Aoi's and Nao's lips touched for few seconds, because...

Rule 6. AOI, YAMIYO IS MINE!

Aoi felt grabbed from behind, like someone forcibly pulled him away from Nao. Confused he looked around, but did not see anyone. Then he felt someone's fingers griping his shirt. Then he saw furious Isshi in front of him.

"If you touch Yamiyo one more time, I promise you I'll visit you at night and make you your own end of the world." he said, holding Aoi against a wall. "Understood?"

"Yes." terrified Aoi fell on the floor, when Isshi let him go.

Nao was standing next to him and smiling, while covering his mouth, like Shin does.

Rule 7. Love is forever, Aoi.

"You didn't have to react so aggresively." said Nao, sitting on the bed.

"At least he'll remember to not hit on you and put himself in the risk of experiencing something paranormal." said Isshi, caressing Nao's cheek.

"I have my guardian angel, who'll protect me from guys hitting on me." Nao smiled, getting closer to Isshi. "Kiss me, Shino."

"Do you think it's a good idea?" asked Isshi, looking at Nao with confusion. "I'm a ghost, Yamiyo."

"But I still love you." said Nao.

THE END

Zutto

Band: Kagrra,

Pairing: Isshi&Nao

Rating: 16+

Genre: angst

Series: "Life with a Ghost"

Warnings: death, paranormal existence

Note: They will always be together.

True love starts with a flower in a vase and ends with a candle in the window. There are no more flowers then, besides the ones, who rest on a loved one's grave.

Nao put flowers on a Isshi's grave and looked at neighboring one, with a name he knew.

"Yamiyo, why are we actually doing this?" asked Isshi, laying bouqet of flowers on the grave that interested Nao.

"I don't know." Nao shrugged. "But at least I didn't do suicide like certain someone."

Yamada looked at someone dressed in all black, standing near.

"Shino, I see the light." Nao pointed in some direction.

"That's ours light." Isshi smiled lightly. "Take my hand, Yamiyo."

"Together?"

"Always."

Isshi and Nao grabbed their hands and went in a direction of a light only they were able to see, then they vanished.

The end

In a blink of an eye

Band: Kagrra,, Alice Nine, Kra

Pairing: Isshi&Nao, mentioned Tora&Akiya, Izumi&Shi

Rating: 16+

Genre: angst, romance

Seria: "Life with a Ghost"

Warnings: alcohol, death, paranormal existence

Note: "Isshi's life passed in a a blink of an eye, even though Nao thought he'll live forever."

When Isshi met Nao, he realized that Naoki Yamada is the weirdest, craziest and clumsiest person he met in his life. He also thought that he won't met anyone as optimistic as him ever again.

Then he met Keiyu. People say to don't judge the book by the cover. That was the perfect description of Keiyu. Even though he way weirder and crazier than Nao, he was a realist. If one person was sure they'd win the lottery and the other one was sure they won't, he would say they both waste their time on wondering, because no one will earn anything.

Nao was a no match for Keiyu in one thing. Keiyu was so perverted it was hard for another person like that. He was even worse than Akiya, who Isshi found in a broom closet with Shin, where they both fallen asleep covered only by the plaid shirt of the taller guitarist.

One beautiful morning, when the birds were singing, the sun was shining and the butterflies flied around, Isshi woke up with Keiyu's legs around his waist. He thought to himself that he's never going to let the younger vocalist stay the night ever again. Especially since he was horribly hungover and didn't remember a thing, while Keiyu remembered everything in detail and felt fine.

At some point Isshi noticed that Nao is acting even stranger than normally. He got caught up in his thoughts so far the only way to get his attention was to snap fingers in front of his eyes, which sometimes caused the bassist to flinch.

Isshi started to wonder why was this happening. Especially since Nao's behavior has gotten worse. The bassist was getting more and more broody while at the same time trying to spend more time with Isshi.

It was a beautifull, colorfull Spring and Isshi had some weird thoughts coming to his head. He wasn't annoyed anymore by Nao, who followed him like a shadow and he started to enjoy the daily coffee made by the bassist. In generall he noticed him more than usuall. It was weird for him, because he got a feeling he discovered something that was there all along, yet he couldn't find it.

The breakthrough moment was the kiss. Completely unexpected, because Isshi wouldn't have thought that Akiya would kiss him. He was shocked for the first few minutes because of two reasons. First one being the thing that just happened and the second one being his thoughts after the incident.

"Why Nao wasn't the one who kissed me, instead of Akiya?"

Isshi had to ask himself an important question. Does he love Nao? Didn't Keiyu notice the way he stares at Nao? Keiyu didn't believe in love, yet he noticed there's something going on. When Shou heard that, which probably seemed obvious to him, he laughted and told him to do something about it. He also was positive about the outcome of things.

It took Isshi four months to think about pros and cons and he decided that there were more pros. So when he had an opportunity, even though he imagined it looking different, he got the courage to tell Nao his feelings and kissed the confused bassist.

No one was surprised that Isshi and Nao got together. Only Tora, who thought he's 100% straight was surprised about it. So surprised that he came to a conclusion that he himself doesn't love any woman at the moment...

For a year Isshi's and Nao's relationship consisted of cute names, bed and fights. Very intense fights which all the Isshi's pets, other Kagrra, members and the rest of PSC, especially Shou and Keiyu had enough of.

But all it took to change everything was one evening. Illusion in which Isshi drowned made him realise that Nao is more important to him than the whole world.

At first everyone felt relief. Later they felt nauseated since Isshi was still mean, but Nao became an apple of his eye. He did whatever Nao asked for. If Nao wished for a star from the sky, Isshi would probably grab him one. Nao was tied to Isshi by an invisible thread, no one could cut off.

March 25th 2010 was the worst day in Isshi's life.

"You're dying, Mr. Hitoshi."

Isshi wasn't afraid of death. He was scared of parting ways with Nao. That terrified him more than his death.

Isshi tried to tell Nao, but he gave up for one simple reason. Nao didn't take good news about dying people. This usually had few stages:

1) Phase of crying - usually took two days, sometimes a little more, depending on the feelings Nao had towards that person.

2) Phase of panicking - Nao cried after a mere mention of the dead person or any thing that reminded him of them. This lasted for about a week.

3) Phase of questioning - Nao walked around the house, practice room, studio and so on repeating one question "Why does it always have to be me?".

4) Phase of promises - this one was the worst for Isshi, after he learned he'll die, because Nao would always come to him and ask:

"You won't die, right?"

Before Isshi learned about his illness he'd smile and promise he'll live for at least fifty years. After knowing the horrible truth he just noded his head and hugged Nao, trying not to cry. Then he wrote the "Shiroi Uso" lyrics and no one know from where he got that idea.

Isshi's life passed in a a blink of an eye, even though Nao thought he'll live forever.

"Shino? Shino, say something to me, please. Shino..."

"Nao, that's enough, come with me."

At first Shin and Izumi were the ones who took care over devastated Nao, even though they also suffered. Even Shin couldn't believe what happened.

"Shino will come back, right, Hashidani?"

"Nao, dead don't come back."

"So I'll go to him. He'll be happy."

"I'd doubt it."

"Why?"

"Haven't he told you to not do something stupid?"

"Oh, right. It doesn't change the fact, that I wan't to die, though..."

After Shin and Izumi, Tora and Akiya were the one who looked after Nao, which wasn't a good idea. Nao's mental condition had bad influence on Akiya's mood, who still remembered the cold skin under his fingers.

"Kill me, Akiya."

"What?"

"Kill me. I wanna go to Shino. I want to see him. Now!"

"Nao, wait, no!"

Luckily Tora was fast enough to catch Nao, before he reached the balcony door. Nao wrote the lyrics to "wanna see u" after this and Tora composed the music.

For everyone who saw Isshi's spirit, his words became the truth. Death was just the begining of the eternity. Or at least the continuation of it. Eternity begun, when Izumi introduced Nao to Isshi.

The end

Ai no shiki

Band: Kagrra,

Pairing: Isshi&Nao

Rating: 16+

Genre: romance, angst

Series: "Life with a Ghost"

Warnings: death, paranormal existence

Note: Seasons of love~

Aki.

"Isshi?"

"Yes, Nao?"

"Nothing, I'm just playing with you."

Fuyu.

"Ikkun?"

"Yes, Nao?"

"What are you writing?"

"Lyrics."

"About demons, love and blossoming cherry trees?"

"How did you know?"

"I know you."

Haru.

"Shinohara?"

"Yes, Yamada?"

"I'm happy, you're here with me."

"Honestly, me too."

Natsu.

"Shino?"

"Yes, Yamiyo?"

"Do you love me?"

"You like to ask rhetorical questions, don't you, honey?"

"I do. I also like hearing answers to them."

"I love you, Yamiyo."

"I love you too, Shino."

Shi.

"Shino?"

~~silence~~

Youma.

"Shino?"

"Yes?"

"Nothing. But I'm glad you replied."

The end

Closed door

Band: D=OUT, THE KIDDIE, Kagrra,

Pairing: Kouki&Ibuki, Reika&Hikaru, Minase&Jun with Isshi&Nao in background

Rating: 15+

Genre: comedy, romance

Series: "Life with a Ghost"

Warnings: paranormal existence

Note: Secrets aren't good, floor is cold and strange things happens.

(It's old story from 2012, that's why Minase is here, not Naoto.)

"Minase, where are you?" wondered Reika, knocking on every door in the PSC building. "Minase!"

"And I'm the one who's late." sighed Kouki. "And now what? He vanished for half an hour. And he'll be complaining about cancelled practice."

"I'm the leader and I'm gonna complain if we won't find him." said Reika.

"Maybe something happened to him?" asked worried Hikaru.

"He's crazy. That's all." sighed Ibuki. "It was his first time doing something like that. Right?"

"Yes, exactly." agreed Reika. "Nao-san, have you seen Minase?"

Nao turned around surprised.

"No." he denied and looked right like he was waiting for an answer from someone. "No, I didn't see him."

Suddenly with his eye's corner, Hikaru noticed the doorknob's movement, and the door next to them opened by themself.

How everyone knew they opened by themself? Because inside there was only Minase, embracing Jun, sleeping.

"Ghosts or what?" wondered Kouki, comepletely forgeting about killing Minase.

Reika called Yuusei to tell him what he saw.

Nao only giggled and walked away.

The end

Someone, who's not

Band: Kra, Kagrra,, Alice Nine

Pairing: Keiyu&Mai with Isshi&Nao and Tora&Akiya in the background

Rating: 15+

Genre: angst

Series: "Life with a Ghost"

Warnings: paranormal existence

Note: "I close the door behind me

I'm standing on the other side.

I remember; you were the one who showed me

How should I fold my hands."

~~ Carrion - "Sztandary Eloi"

Imagine this. Your beloved is ill, Your sister in law's pregnancy is in danger, Your brother broke his leg, Your mother sufers from depression, Your father can have a heart attack any moment, and Your lizard has some weird skin dissease. Can it get any worse?

Yes, of course. Imagine your best friend is dying.

Imagine that few months have passed. Nothing have change, except Your brother's leg is healed, and Your sister's in law pregnancy is advanced, but it is unknown if the baby will survive.

And you guessed right. Your best friend is still dying. And Death is approachig him faster and faster.

"I won't tell him." said Isshi, pouring himself some water to his cup.

Nao was away and he was left alone and called me, like usual. Doesn't matter that I have fragile Maiccho's health on my head. According to him, I can always visit my friend.

"You have to tell him." I insisted, crossing my legs. "Do you understand, Shino?"

"He'll start to freak out." said Isshi. "And when he'll start freaking out, we won't calm him down."

"Why?" I asked.

"It's just like that." said Isshi, leaning on a drawer. "Kou... Catch me."

Thank gods, Nao's away. Really.

"But what will Nao do, when you'll die?" I asked, puting wet towel on Isshi's forehead.

His breath started to calm down. Finally.

"I have no idea." said Isshi in a weak voice. "And I'd rather not think about it."

The phone called. I picked up.

"Maiccho?" I asked.

"Will you buy me some tissues?" asked Maiccho in his sweetly, but at the moment very coarse voice.

"Of course." I agreed.

Shino walked me to the door. I saw him burning out. Like a candle, which's knot is about to end.

"I'm scared." said Isshi quietly. "I don't want her to tear us apart."

"Who?"

"The queen of the other world, Kou." Isshi smiled weakly. "When she'll come for me, I'll have to wait for a long time for Yamiyo."

"And for me." I added.

"And for you." Isshi laughted. "Go home now. Mai needs you, Kousuke."

"See you, Shino." I said and ran to my car.

A month have passed and Shino wanted to see me again. But I couldn't. Yasuno decided he won't go to the band practice, Yuhra caught a cold and Taizo got lost somewhere. Maiccho's fever was really high and I had to go with him to the hospital. Really?

A week later I've got a phonecall from Tora, with who I wasn't keeping in touch lately. Everything was weird. Isshi didn't call or even pick up. Akiya picked up once and while talking with me, he sounded like he was about to cry, then he suddenly hung up. Shin told me he doesn't feel like talking and he needs to go to the shop and buy a lot of napkins, because he's running out of them. Izumi talked about going fishing, but his voice lacked it's usual playfullness. Nao's phone was turned off. Something was wrong.

"My beloved is still sick, my sister-in-law gave birth to a healthy baby, but she won't be able to have any more, brother broke his arm, mother attempted suicide, father got a heart attack and my lizard bit off it's tail for no apparent reason. To make things worse, you guys are behaving strangely lately, so give me a serious reason why you're calling so early." I said, while pouring myself some water.

"I didn't want you to learn about this from the media."

"About what?"

"Me and Akiya found Isshi last week. His family told us to not tell anyone, because..." Tora's voice cracked. "They wanted to give him a peacefull burial. Isshi is dead, Kousuke."

Crash! Glass of water fell out of my hand and water spilled all over the floor. I slid down the wall. Shino...

"Kousuke, what happened?"- Maiccho ran to me and shook me by my arms. "Kousuke!"

"Shino... Didn't pick up his phone... Because he couldn't..."

"Why?" Maiccho started getting anxious.

"Dead ones can't do this." I explained with my voice shaking. "Nao. He got left alone. I need to go. Wait, I don't know, where..."

"Isshi is dead?" asked Maiccho.

"Tora, are you still there? Where's Nao? With Shin and Izumi? Okay, I'm going there. Maiccho, stay here."

I felt like someone ripped out a chunk of my heart. Like something died inside me. Shino was always by my side, even when Maiccho didn't understand me. He was there always. He was an unseparable part of my existence on this pityfull world.

And now Shino is standing in front of me, with his hands on my shoulders. He's not there, yet he came for the third time.

"You're not here." I say calmly. "You're not here. You're someone, who's not."

"Why you're the only one that doesn't believe?" he asks.

I laught histerically.

"Because I'm a realist." I reply. "Let go off me."

"Kou, please believe me. Believe in me. Believe, please." I get the feeling Isshi is about to start crying.

His fingers painfully grip on my shoulders. But he's not there.

"Go away." I say and push him away.

I close the door behind me and fall on the floor.

"Ghosts don't exist." I repeat to myself, trying to reach the pills on my cupboard, perscibed by my psychiatrist. "They don't exist."

Shino's not here. Shino died. Shino didn't come back. And he won't. Ever.

The end

Knocking on the door... from the afterlife

Band: Alice Nine&Kagrra with Kra in the background

Pairing: Tora&Akiya with Isshi&Nao, Izumi&Shin and Keiyu&Mai in the background

Rating: 15+

Genre: comedy, thriller

Series: "Life with a Ghost"

Warnings: paranormal existence

Note: "Shinohara?" risked Akiya, looking around. "You know. I don't believe in ghosts but I think I'll start to believe. You're here, right?"

Akiya threw Chibi's leash on the cupboard, put a CD into the player and sat on the bed. Tora wasn't home. He was alone. Even Chibi went to sleep and Chikin hid somewhere hard to find. One year ago he didn't feel so lonely on that day.

It was a day like any other through the year, but had a certain scheme to it - Kagrra, celebrating Isshi's birthday in his home or in a most convenient club, when they were touring. But now there's no Kagrra, and no Isshi.

Isshi is no more. Words that make Akiya feel like hitting his head on a wall. Firstly, because he was the one who found him and felt no pulse on his wrist with his fingers. Secondly, because Isshi was one of his best friends and guitarist couldn't come to terms with the fact that he died. Thirdly, because Nao cried all the time for month and a half. Before the camera - peace. As soon as red light went off, Nao went hysterical and there was no way to calm him down and people not knowing what's going on, were confused. Nao's hysteria was him laying on the floor, where he was standing at the moment then starting to shake and cry, which lasted until he was so tired he fell asleep. That's why shaking Nao needed to be taken to the car, then his home, then put in his bed. It lasted for a month. Then he calmed down a little, but hearing something about Isshi, or seeing something yellow (like Shin's new scarf or Izumi's mug) would trigger him and the show started again. It was only the beginning of September, when he got himself together. Propably...

Akiya flinched. He heard a weird sound, like water boiling in a kettle. He got up and went to the kitchen. On the cupboard there was a tea. Freshly made and hot. Akiya looked into the mug. It was his favorite tea. Tora couldn't make it, because he couldn't remember Hiroto, or Shou's bithday. He wasn't home anyway. Akiya knew only one person, who remembered stuff like that right away. But for few months that person is ...

Akiya went back to his room, when he heard a noise. There was a camera and a picture laying on his bed. Picture without him in it, but made by him. Picture, for taking which he got so yelled at, then two of his friend praisen him on their knees for it. But that picture shouldn't be here.

Akiya realised, the music was gone. He looked up. Numbers on a display screen were changing so fast, like someone was standing next to the music player and continuously pressed skip button. Remote was broken, so it was the only way to do it.

A melody could be heard, coming from speakers. Not some ordinary song. It was Kagrra,'s "Sakura ~saikai no hana~". Favorite song of...

Akiya almost spilled his tea, when ginger cat ran next to his leg, chased by Chibi. Chikin looked at the scene from behind an artificial flower on the shelves. Ginger jumped behind a wardrobe and sat next to the cat, while Chibi was barking really loud for his age. Chikin looked at the other cat, curled and went to sleep. She thought that if Chibi can chase the cat away, Otaki, because that was the name of the ginger cat, is no threat to her.

Otaki was Isshi's cat, who remembered birthdays, favourite things of his friends like color, tea or flowers, loved song still playing from the speakers and was on a picture held at the moment by shocked Akiya.

"Shinohara?" risked Akiya, looking around. "You know. I don't believe in ghosts but I think I'll start to believe. You're here, right?"

Akiya felt someone placing his hand on his arm. He knew that touch. He put his own on top of it so many times before the lives.

"That's why Nao is happy again." Akiya smiled lightly, grabbing hand on his shoulder and turned around.

Isshi looked like he didn't die at all. The only difference were his white clothes.

"I'm sorry." said Isshi, looking Akya in the eyes. " I didn't want you to find me. I just..."

"Didn't want to be alone, but also didn't want to be seen by Nao in that shape. I know." Akiya interrupted him.

"From where?" asked Isshi.

"I know you." answered Akiya. "I would do the same anyway."

"I don't think so." said Isshi. "You would tell Tora right away, he would panic for two years until you'd die in his arms. You're not me, Akki."

"Do you think wishing you something is a bad idea?." asked Akiya.

Isshi smiled lightly.

"If Yamiyo treats me like I'm still alive, I think you can do so too."- said Isshi.

"How much he treats you like a living person?" asked Akiya.

"As much as you think." replied Isshi.

"Then instead of wishing you something, I have a favor to ask." said Akiya. "Stay here as long as you possibly can. Nao won't live a day without you."

"I promise I'll stay with him until he'll be able to join me." replied Isshi.

Then the front door opened. Tora was standing in a doorway.

"I think I'm still in a bus and I'm sleeping." said Tora.

Isshi smiled.

"I'm sorry." he said, then turned to Akiya. "Akki, let go of my hand."

Akiya let loose of Isshi's hand, making him dissapear. Confused Tora flinched, when vocalist showed up next to him.

"I'm going back to Yamiyo. Maybe someday I'll come here again." Isshi smiled and vanished in thin air.

Otaki jumped from the wardrobe and ran through the still opened door.

"Akiya, what the hell was that?" asked shocked Tora.

"Isshi." Akiya shrugged, then sat on the bed and drunk down his tea, like it was a normal day.

* * *

"Hello?" Akiya picked up a phone call from Izumi.

"Sakura, tea, cat." said drummer.

"Izumida, better give my that phone or our Aki won't understand you." said Shin. "Or maybe you're some kind of medium, Akiya."

"Medium sees ghosts, who bring their cat, change tracks in music player and make tea?" asked Akiya.

He heard only silence.

"Judging by Shin's face, he came to you too, right?" asked third voice.

"Yes, Mai. He came to me too." replied Akiya, looking at Tora, who was still trying to understand what happened yesterday. "What's you vocalist doing?"

"My vocalist? He hid under the table and said he's not coming out as long as his dead friends gonna visit him." explained Mai. "Ukes are better with understanding supernatural experiences or is it just me?"

"I guess so." agreed Akiya. "Better go to bed instead of coughing here."

"Like Kousuke. Just like Kousuke. You fit each other. You two should be together." Mai sighted then hung up.

"So what, Aki? Are we looking for a medium?" asked Tora, sitting next to him.

"No, Amano." denied Akiya. "If Nao is happy, we should left things as they are."

Tora thinked about it for a moment, then noded his head. He came to a conclusion, he'll rather see ghosts than Nao laying on the floor in despair.

The end

Fourteen petals of cherry blossom

Band: Kagrra,

Pairing: Isshi&Nao

Rating: 15+

Genre: comedy, angst, romance

Series: "Life with a Ghost"

Warnings: alcohol, paranormal existence, death

Note: Fourteen years, fourteen petals. Bitter-sweet dialogue.

First petal

Izumi: Nao, I found us a vocalist. Meet Isshi, we were together in me previous band. Isshi, this is Nao, my good friend from school.

Isshi: Nice to meet you, Nao-san.

Nao: Nice to meet you too, Isshi-san.

Second petal

Nao: Ikkun, what are you doing?

Isshi: Writing.

Nao: What?

Isshi: Lyrics.

Nao: What lyrics?

Isshi: Nao, when was the last time you felt how it is to be hit in the face by a fist?

Nao: But...

Isshi: Okay, sit. But don't talk.

Third petal

Nao: How about "Kagrra"?

Isshi: What?

Nao: You were thinking about new name for a band, so here's my proposition.

Isshi: Nao, no one will be able to pronounce this.

Izumi: Yes, let's fight. You're right. It makes band bond so well.

Shin: Izumi, you should be the leader.

Akiya: Who thinks Izumi should become the leader?

Isshi: He's the boss here anyway, so voting is pointless. And I like that name. Sometimes you have to make life difficult for other people.

Shin: You're an expert in this. Fans can't understand your lyrics anymore.

Izumi: Shin, be quiet, you're not making this situation any better.

Shin: But Izumi...

Izumi: Listen to the leader, Shin.

Fourth petal

Nao: Ikkun, why your hair is so long?

Isshi: What do you mean?

Nao: Can I braid it?

Isshi: Nao, please...

Nao: I'll do it anyway.

Isshi: I know.

Fifth petal

Nao: Ikkun, how do you sing so well?

Isshi: Nao, you drunk too much today.

Nao: But you sing so well. Like... Like a mermaid.

Isshi: Nao, go to sleep.

Nao: But really. You attract fans with your singing like a mermaid attracts sailors.

Isshi: Akiya, take him away.

Akiya: Me? Then stop that room first, because it's spinning and spinning...

Isshi: Kami-sama...

Sixth petal

Izumi: Have you noticed, how weirdly Nao is acting lately?

Shin looked at Izumi surprised, freezing with spoon halfway to his mouth.

Shin: Really? I haven't. But if I think about it, you're right.

Akiya: Isshi is nice to him.

Izumi: What?

Akiya: He's nice. Only for Nao.

Shin: Akiya, are you saying he...

Akiya: Yes. Both of them feel the same way about eachother. But of course they won't notice it.

Seventh petal

Nao: Ikkun, aren't you happy, we're major now?

Isshi: No.

Nao: Why?

Isshi: I have my reasons.

Nao: But look, we have a comma in our name and we play in bigger venues...

Isshi: They gave us some kids with ADHD to take care of. It really is wonderfull.

Nao: Huh?

Isshi: Huh, huh..

Hiroto: ALICE DESU!!!

Isshi: Example number one, Nao. Small squirrel named Hiroto.

Eight petal

Nao: What do you think, what about Shin and Akiya were talking about that time in the tourbus?

Isshi: I think, they were talking about us.

Nao: Why?

Isshi: They looked at us. That's logical.

Nao: For you. Not for me.

Isshi: Yamada, you're not thinking logically very often. You do something spontanously, then notice why it wasn't so good.

Nao: I need to buy a dictionary.

Isshi: Why?

Nao: But I doubt I'll find somewhere dictionary from vocalist, to Japanese.

Isshi: You're saying, my way of speaking is to sophisticated?

Nao: That's understatement, Shinohara.

Isshi: Even when you break my good mood, I can't be angry at you.

Nao: I love you to.

Nao laughted.

Ninth petal

Nao: So you can get angry at me.

Isshi: You were the one, who got angry, Yamada.

Nao: But it turned out, you can say "sorry".

Isshi: Yes, I can. I'm surprised.

Nao: Don't you think starry sky is beautifull?

Isshi: Starlesss night is prettier. You can imagine stars and with imagination, possibilities are endless.

Nao: Dark night more beautifull than starry one. Very interesting, Shino.

Isshi: You're also more beautifull than stars in the sky...

Isshi opened his eyes wide.

Isshi: Yamiyo.

Nao: What?

Isshi: For two weeks I've been thinking about some other way of abbrieviating your name. Yamiyo. It's perfect.

Nao: Melodic.

Isshi: And fits you perfectly.

Tenth petal

Nao: Shino! Why did you cut your hair?!

Isshi: Why you straighten yours?

Nao: Okay, I'm not asking anymore.

Akiya: Like a married couple.

Isshi: When I show you married couple, Akiya, you'll be sorry.

Izumi: Couldn't you guys start working or something?

Shin: Izumi, what do you expect from them? Come with me, I'll make you some tea.

Eleventh petal

Akiya fell asleep on two chairs next to each other, then fell from them.

Nao: What's with you and falling down after you wake up?

Akiya: Nao!

Isshi: What? What's going on?

Nao: You don't want to know, Shino.

Akiya: You don't have to know all our secrets.

Isshi: Secrets? You two have any secrets? From me?

Akiya: Yes, especially from you.

Isshi: Very funny, Akiya, really. Unbelievably funny, Tiger Lily.

Twelveth petal

Nao: You took me here, because?

Isshi: Because I wanna take you for a ride.

Nao: Car is on a parking lot.

Isshi: Did I say something about cars?

Isshi sat Nao in front of him and grabbed his hands.

Nao: And I thought you were kidding, when you said, you can ride a horse.

Isshi: Oh, Yamiyo. Sometimes I really don't get you. Now hold in here.

Nao grabbed Isshi's hands, then closed his eyes. All of it seemed to be just an illusion.

Thirteenth petal

Isshi: Yamiyo?

Nao: Yes?

Isshi: What would you do if I were gone?

Nao: I'd throw away my cane and use our balcony.

Isshi: What walking cane? What balcony?

Nao: You know, when I'll be over sixty, I'll probably won't be able to move around by myself. And I couldn't live. So I would kill myself.

Isshi: Don't even say that. You can't do that.

Nao: Why?

Isshi: Because...

Nao for the first time saw that Isshi couldn't find words.

Isshi: I need to write a letter.

Fourteenth petal

Nao: Shino?

Isshi: Yes?

Nao: Why are you still here?

Isshi: I don't understand.

Nao: Why won't you go to the other side?

Isshi: Because you're not there, Yamiyo.

The end

"Your eyes are empty, when you're broody"

Band: Kagrra,
Pairing: Isshi&Nao
Rating: 15+
Genre: romance, light angst
Series: "Life with a Ghost"
Warnings: -paranormal existence
Note: Nao is broody, Isshi is worried.



One day, when you went to the studio, I thought about making a dinner. Remember, how we laughted, when you entered the kitchen and asked what exploded here? Other time, you took me for a walk in the rain and kissed me in the middle of the street, even though a lot of people were there. Later you moved my wet hair from my face and told me I look prettier than usual. You smiled so cute back then no one even knew you were able to smile like that. When I was away, you called me in the middle of the night asking me to come back, because you couldn't sleep. Even though I was angry at you, I smiled. When we were coming back from the studio in winter and I was wearing some thin jacket, you took off your coat and put it on me, then put your gloves on my hands. I said you'll catch a cold and you only shrugged, then kissed me on the forehead. Once you didn't want to get up and I knew very well your feet are very ticklish and used that knowledge. You got angry at me. Remember the day you were in one room with a book and I with the PSP in other? At one point you took the game away from me, put it away on the couch and kissed in a way that made me immediately stop being angry at you about not beating that stupid high score. Because you were there.

Nao snapped out from his thoughts when he felt Isshi's hand on his.

"Something happened, Shino?" he asked.

"No." replied Isshi. "I just don't like, when you get broody. Your eyes look so empty."

"Empty." repeated Nao, weaving Isshis fingers with his. "Do you know someone, who's eyes are always "empty"?"

"Kousuke's eyes used to be the same." said Isshi after a while. "Until he believed in love."

"Keiyu didn't believe in love?" asked Nao.

"No, he didn't." answered Isshi. "That's why, when you say something about him in drunk company, you can hear "Ah, that one. I slept with him"."

"I thought those were false drunk stories." said Nao.

"What? False stories?" asked Isshi.

"You know." started Nao. "We went hit Keiyu and Tora for a beer. Our small vocalist drank a little too much and that's how I learned how many partners he had and that he was your uke for a night. Let's change topic. I've had enough of this talk about bedrooms."

"I have to clean the dust." said Isshi, sitting on the bed. "Or maybe you want to do it?"

"Not so much." Nao smiled, leaning his head on Isshi's arm. "Look at our picture, Shino. And at that happines in our eyes."

That picture was made in January of 2009 by Akiya. It showed Nao sitting on a chair and embracing him Isshi. They both looked in eachothers eyes, completely ignoring the world. On some other picture they are kissing, but it was hidden in a photo album somewhere at the bottom of a drawer, so no one could find it. Akiya probably to this day remembers, how Isshi yelled at him, when he saw him with a camera and found out about those pictures. And now vocalist and bassist are glad that sometimes he moves a bit to far.

"That picture is beautiful, right, Shino?" asked Nao.

"You are beautiful." replied Isshi, turning into Nao's direction.

Bassist blinked a few times.

"What?" he said after a while. "You're telling me this without any metaphors? Wow."

"I don't need metaphors when I have you." whispered Isshi, laying Nao on his back.

Then he covered him with a quilt.

Clock on the wall ringed for midnight.

"Shino, it's December seventh." said Nao, looking at the calendar. "Happy birthday, honey."

"Thank you." Isshi kissed Nao's cheek. "Go to sleep, Yamiyo. You need to rest, right?"

"Yeah, I do." muttered Nao. "Goodnight, Shino."

"Goodnight, Yamiyo." replied Isshi, pulling Nao closer.

Nao slowly closed his eyes, hugging Isshi. Then he fell asleep.

This situation seems normal, right? Look around, then. Noticed something weird? Look at a calendar. Which year it shows? 2011, right? Then notice black ribbon pit on a picture frame, with picture mentioned before and go do something useful, so you won't stand like that in someones bedroom. Now, or else I'll be scaring you in your sleep.

The end

"I will stay with You forever"

Band: Kagrra, with Alice Nine and Kra in the background
Pairing: Isshi&Nao with Tora&Akiya and Izumi&Shin in the background
Rating: 15+
Genre: angst
Series: "Life with a Ghost"
Warnings: death, paranormal existence, slice of life
Note: 25th July, year 2011, the world learned about Isshi's death, who had died on 18th July. And nothing after that was the same.

~First person narration~

I'm standing in a doorway, while looking at your thinking face. You're sitting on the bed, looking in the abyss. The window is open and it's cold outside. I walk trough the room to close it. You snap out from your thoughts and look at me, but you're not saying anything and go back to your interesting activity.

I tell you, I'm making you tea. Your favorite. Green with prickly pear's fruit. I take out purple cup you got from me as a birthday present and I pour in some tea. I boil water, then pour it into your favorite drink, knocking off a teaspoon from the cupboard by accident. You enter the kitchen, pick up cat from the table and look surprised at volatilazing steam emerging from the cup. You touch hot vessel and jump away. You sit down for a moment, sigh, then you take the cup and go to your room. Cat immediately jumps on the table and falls asleep.

I go check on you. You're dreaming, like my ginger cat. But you're sleeping on the couch with empty mug in your hands. I take vessel from your hands and put it on a cupboard nearby. I cover you with blanket and look at your sleeping face. Then I stand up, pick you up and take you to the bedroom. Dogs are whining and jumping around my legs. I silence them with my stare. I don't want them to wake you up.

Next day, we go out of home. You're walking, sad and deep in thoughts, with boquet of purple roses in your hand. You know this color means longing? Perhaps no, but you wanted to show that way, those flowers are from you.

We enter the graveyard. We pass the graves of different people, known and unknown, until we reach the grave which was our destination. You put flowers on it. Your lower lip begind to shake, then you fall on your knees and start crying. This is too much. I hate when you're crying. I put my hand on your arm and you suddenly become silent. You slowly lift your hand and touch mine. I feel that you're shaking. You turn around and look me in the eyes.

"Shino?" you ask surprised, still looking at me.

Am I only visible, when I touch you? That would explain a lot.

I remember how in March of 2010 you went to your parents and I sat on a bed with results I got from the doctor. Kousuke came to me, because I called him. I had to tell someone.

"Shino, where are you? What happened?" Kousuke entered the hall and looked around.

Then he noticed me.

"Shino, I'm starting to worry. What happened?"

Kousuke approached me and I gave him the results. He looked at them, and then at me, terrified. Then I hugged him and started to cry

"Don't tell anyone." I said, still crying.

It was October, and you caught a cold as always. Izumi called for a band practice, so I left you with first aid kit, tissues and warm tea in bed and went by myself. After a practice I sat on a couch and looked ad packing friends.

"We have to dissolve our band." I said. All three looked at me, shocked.

"Are you insane?" Shin looked at me. "Why?"

"I'm dying." I explained with shaking voice.

Izumi sat down, Akiya froze with bottle of water in his hand, and Shin opened his eyes as wide as he could.

"You're... kidding." said Akiya "You're kidding, right?"

"I wish I was." I said feeling tears coming to my eyes. "Don't tell anyone. I'll think of other reason why we are disbanding. But don't tell anything Yamiyo. I don't want him to worry."

"But Isshi..." started Izumi, but I silenced him with a gesture.

"I want Kagrra, to disband now. Not when I'll be gone." I explained. "Please. Take care of Yamiyo. He'll need you."

I've never been hugged by three crying bandmates before.

Few months later I called Shin to take you somewhere. I was so weak I had no strenght to hide the truth from you. I lied that I'm only tired. I told you, I like when you call me by my full name, when you say you love me. I sent Kousuke a message telling him to come visit me. He couldn't so I asked Akiya. He agreed. And I simply didn't want to be alone, or worry you.

I looked at you, while you were taking off your blouse from a coat hanger. Even though it was middle of July, it was cold outside.

"I'm going to the studio with Shin." you said, smiling. "Maybe we'll record something, then we'll go for a beer. Yeah, it's a good idea."

"I love you, Yamada." I said, approaching you and kissing you lightly.

"I love you to, Shinohara." you smiled and went out of house.

I layed down on the bed. I heard the clock striking twelve o'clock then I've fallen asleep. I woke up for a moment and thought about writing something on my blog. I had just turned on my laptop, when I felt dizzy. I layed down again and drifted away after a while.

I woke up suspiciously calm. Nothing hurt me, nothing was wrong. I stood up and looked at my clothes. They were the same but... White. I turned around and saw myself, still laying on the bed. I died in my sleep, that's good. I approached the door and noticed they aren't locked. I must've forgot. But at least Akiya won't have to pry it open.

Literally few minutes later I heard knocking on the door. After a moment Akiya was standing in the doorway, with Tora behind him

"Opened?" wondered Akiya and looked at also surprised Tora.

He looked around the house. He noticed me. He looked at Tora, then approached my body.

"Isshi, wake up." said quietly Akiya, shaking my arm. "Kami, Isshi, wake up. Shinohara, please, wake up. Hitoshi Shinohara, can you hear me?"

Akya grabbed me by my wrist and froze.

"Amano... Amano, he's... He's dead. Isshi is dead."

Akiya fallen on the floor Tora, who was standing all this time in a bedroom's doorway, shocked, approached Akiya and hugged him. I never saw them cry so much.

 ~Third person narration~

Shin went ouf of from the bathroom, still drying his wet hair with a towel. He saw smiling Nao, siting in front of his laptop.

"I let myself write a post for my blog from our computer." Nao smiled even wider. "I can, right? I just checked if I have any comments. Now I'll go take a bath and then I'll go back home."

Nao passed Shin in the doorway and went to the bathroom. Then guitarist just now noticed, Izumi is looking sad.

"What happened, Izumida?" asked Shin, approaching his koi.

"Hashi, I..." started Izumi, and gave him his cellphone. "I can't believe it."

Shin took the phone from Izumi's hand and read the message from Tora.

Izumi. Akiya would've called you if you could understand, what he's saying. I decided to write, because my throat is clutched from crying and I couldn't say anything. Me and Akiya found Isshi yesterday... without a pulse. He died, Izumi. Isshi is dead. His family told us to not tell anyone else beside you. Try to explain it somehow to Nao.

Shin sat down from shock. He never wished Isshi death.

Nao wen out from the bathroom. He was confused, seeing Shin's and Izumi's faces.

"What happened?" asked bassist.

"Nao, Isshi was sick." started Shin, who was still shocked. "That's why he wanted Kagrra, to disband. I have to admit, he was a good actor."

"He didn't want to worry you and told us to also stay silent." explained Izumi with shaking voice. "Beside us, Akiya, Tora, Keiyu and Mai also knew. No one else."

"He's in hospital, right?" asked Nao, terrified. "Right?"

"No." Izumi shaked his head and hid his face in his hands.

"Akiya and Tora found him yesterday." explained Shin and sighted. "Nao... Oh, Yamada, he died. Shinohara died yesterday in his sleep."

Nao looked at Shin, then Izumi, then he turned around and ran outside.

"Nao!" Shin stod up, but Izumi stopped him.

"Let's give him a while." he said. "But while might be not enough. It will take him many years to get used to this. If he'll actually ever be able to. But I know right now he ran to his house."

Izumi was right. Nao ran as fast as he could, not noticing people passing by. Shino, his Shino is waiting for him for sure. He'll hold him tight, kiss and apologise for making him worry. Then he'll yell at them for this stupid joke.

Nao barged into his house, quickly opening locked door.

"Shino!" he called. "Shino, where are you?! Shinohara! Shino! Hitoshi Shinohara, where are you?! Shino?!"

Nao ran to the bedroom. On the cupboard he found piece of paper folded few times.

"Akiya." whispered Nao and unfolded the paper.

If you're reading this, you're propably Nao. If you're Nao, you're propably looking for Shinohara. If you're looking for Shinohara, on the back side I wrote you his cousin's number. She'll tell you where they took him. Take Izumi and Shin with you.
Remember, me and Amano will always be there for you and you should know that Shinohara loved you so much.

Akiya

Nao put back the piece of paper on the cupboard with shaking hands. He turned around and took from the shelf framed picture of him with Isshi. Then something fell out from behind the frame. It was a letter. Even though Nao cried, he recognized Isshi's handwriting from afar.

Dear Yamiyo.
I realise that if you grabbed our picture, someting had happened. It's me, who's cleaning the dust in our house, so I don't think something suddenly changed. I guess I've died, right?
Yamiyo, I'm sorry, I haven't told you about my illness, but I didn't want to worry you. I wanted you to smile till the end of my days. Now you also have to smile. Please, don't do anything stupid.
Yes, Kagrra, broke up because of me, but I didn't want to leave you with all the problems my death would've caused.
I love you. I will always love you, Yamada.

Your Shino

Nao, holding picture in one hand, and letter in the other, fallen to his knees. Loud, terrifying and full of despair scream probably heard every neighbour of bassist.

Shin and Izumi were standing in a doorway of Nao's bedroom. They saw Nao saying on the floor and shaking from crying, without any will to live in his eyes.

  ~First person narration~

You're standing in front of me, still holding my hand. We look each other in the eyes, trying to guess what the other one is thinking.

"Hold me." you whisper and hug me and I embrace you with my arms. "Will you stay with me, Shino?"

"I will stay." I promise, kissing your forehead. "I will stay with you forever, my Yamiyo."

Shinohara Isshi Hitoshi

7 XII 1978 - 18 VII 2011

Rest in peace, my Shino

  

 ~~The end~~