Fire

Band: The Guzmania&Acme (ex. DIV)

Pairing: Chobi&Chisa

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Series: "Nine Elements"

Warnings: -

Note: Chisa came out to his brother and it didn't work too well, so Chobi had to handle it.

Flames cracked in the fireplace. Covered with a blanket I sat on a pillow and looked into them like I was hipnotyzed. Like I was trying to warm myself from the inside.

"Tea?" I looked up.

You smiled, holding two cups in your hands.

"I made jasmine one. There weren't anything else, actually. Every Kurihara drinks jasmine tea?"

"My mum prefers chocolate one" I said, taking green cup with a picture of a dog.

You sighed and layed on the armchair, leaning your legs on the armrest.

"He'll understand" you said. "Meiko had to think about it for a while."

"I'd rather not argue with my brother about me being a weirdo" I muttered.

"Sachi!" you scolded. "Stop it. You're almost thirty, but your self-esteem is on a floor level. Drink your tea insteat of telling nonsense."

"Whatever you wish" I drank some tea.

Its warmth flowed through me, but I still felt like I'm frozen.

I didn't notice when you left. I realised it, when you came back.

With Hotaka.

"Here" my brother gave me a beer can. "We drink. Like guys. Yeah?"

I looked at you confused. You leaned on a doorway, smiling with satisfaction.

"Don't stare at your prince charming. Look at me or I'll change my mind!" screamed Hotaka.

"Alright, alright" I said, punching his arm lightly.

You laughed. How can you be warmer than fire, Hiroki?

The End

Fires at Icy Midnight

Band: The Guzmania&Acme (ex.DIV) with Moran, heidi., Kalafina, Nightmare, Ganglion and Band-Maid in the background

Pairing: Chobi&Chisa with Ivy&Vivi in the background

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, fantasy, AU

Series: "Fires at Icy Midnight"

Warnings: magic, violence

Notka autorska: "Fairies, according to legends, are small, cute creatures, who live among the trees, drink nectar from flowers and fly on bumble-bees. When people think about fairies, the last thing they think of are strict rules about mixed offsprings and magic controled by them."

Fairies, according to legends, are small, cute creatures, who live among the trees, drink nectar from flowers and fly on bumble-bees. When people think about fairies, the last thing they think of are strict rules about mixed offsprings and magic controled by them.

There are four original magic elements - water, fire, earth and air. Fairies controling them have butterfly wings and wands with a rose and a diamond. Every element has its colour - water is navy, fire is red, earth is green and air is violet. Fairies have wings, wands and clothes in all of shades of them.

And then we have their mixed offsprings.

Every offspring has wings of a moth and wand with its glass counterpart. Water makes mist with fire, mud with earth and ice with air. Fire and earth are lava, fire and air are light, but earth and air make its opposite element - darkness. When all elements mix, a pixie is born - a fairy without wings, who uses offsprings' wand.

Offsprings aren't liked in society, like always. But light fairies are glorified and spoiled. Light magic is considered as sacred and that's why light fairies are the only offsprings with butterfly wings and rosie wands.

It was one problem with offsprings. Ice, lava and darkness fairies rarely control their powers, so everytime, when something happens, they're sent to the watch centre. It usually works out and after a year of living here, a fairy comes back to the good side of spreading shining dust around.

But sometimes there are fairies who are bullied by other over and over lose control constantly...

I'm an ice fairy. I've spent almost all my life in the watch centre. I can't control my powers for longer than a week. And Ryu, the darkness fairy, is the main reason for that. He loves torturing me.

I jumped from one branch to another and sat down on a leaf. I saw other villagers behind a fence, spending happily their time in park. I was surprised, when I noticed that a representative of almost every element in our small community was there.

Siblings - Chobi and Meiko from the fire clan and Kiri from the air clan. By the way, these two clans were replacing each other on the throne all the time.

Another siblings - Jin and Ivy from the earth clan.

And finally Saiki from the water clan.

There were some mixed offsprings too. The light fairy Hikaru, the mist fairy Akane, the mud fairy Yoshihiko... Oh, and even the lava fairy Vivi and the pixie Ni~ya.

And me, the ice fairy Chisa, hiding behind a fence and watching longingly those, who are free. Just like some butterfly dreaming about flying.

* * *

I left the Watch Centre, folding and unfolding a belt attached to my bag. I could leave, but for how long? Three days? Three hours? I'm going to return there and watch the world through the fence again.

I don't know life outside the Watch Centre. I don't know life in peace. I don't know, how it is to be free.

Suddenly something fell to my feet. I looked at this.

"Chestnut?" I was surprised, picking up the chestnut.

It was immediately covered in frost.

I dropped it. I have to calm down. I can't lose control again. I left the Watch Centre only about three minutes ago!

"Hey~!" I heard and I looked up.

Oh, right. Chobi from the fire clan. He's nice to everyone and probably likes everyone too. Even if he doesn't know them.

Like me.

"Hi" I replied and I felt that the strap of my bag is freezing.

"Oh, my chestnut" Chobi picked it up, but it slipped out of his hands and fell on his foot. "Ouch...

"I'm sorry" I said. "I think I froze your chestnut..."

"No, you just frosted it a little" Chobi smiled brightly and burned the chestnut, which caused it to thaw. "What's your name? I'm Chobi."

"Chisa" I replied.

"Are you going home from the Watch Centre?" asked Chobi, following me.

Go away. Talking to me won't end well for you.

"Yeah" I nodded and he was still following me with his chestnut.

"I rarely see you" Chobi was still talking. "You know, I know everyone. Hotaka is your brother, right? I often see him, when he's going mushroom picking. But he goes there earlier. He's nice, it's a good boy. Is an age gap between you big?"

"Three years" I replied.

"I have a sister, Meiko. But she's three years younger, not older" Chobi smiled slightly.

Oh, so you think that Hotaka is older? Not first time in my life.

"We're going fishing with Ivy. Do you want to go with us?" asked Chobi and I just sighed.

"I can go" I said quietly and followed Chobi to the riverside.

* * *

"Gotch ya!" Ivy lunged at the zander, which immediately knocked it off its back. "Or not. I'll catch another one!"

"Wouldn't it be easier for you with vines?" asked Chobi, creating a bow and an arrow from the flames that pierced the fence.

The fish fell back into the water with a loud splash.

"I made a bet with Vivi that I can do it without it" replied Ivy, grabbing the perch by the tail and letting it drag him for a while.

I was sitting at the riverside and just looking at them. I didn't want to use my strengh or powers or to invest my emotions in this duel.

"Chisa, watch out!" called me Chobi suddenly and I looked up.

A large fish, probably a pike, jumped out of the water and flew straight towards me.

Shhuush. Icicles cut through the air and pierced the fish and nearby trees, cutting down flowers and cutting grass within a radius of several meters.

The fish fell with a thud right in front of my feet, its blood staining our clothes and the river water.

"Awesome" whispered Ivy, holding a bass, who tried to break free from the trap. "We're going to have a party tonight!"

"This pike is going to feed us for a good week" said Chobi, approaching the carcass. "We need to call a few more people, because we can't carry this huge fish on our own."

"I'm sorry, I got scared..." I mumbled under my breath.

"What? No, it's amazing!" exclaimed Chobi, patting my shoulder. "Good job, Chisa. Come with me, we need help. Ivy, kill this fish already, it's getting tired."

"Can't I make it my pet? I would feed it worms" said Ivy, making Chobi laugh.

"If you want it as a pet, I don't care, but I don't know, what would your parents say."

"Mum won't let me, fish are too slimy..."

"You answered your own question" Chobi grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a village. "And now watch these fish or some bear will eat them!"

Ivy nodded.

And I thought that if not Chobi's call, this fish would crash me...

* * *

I sat at the end of the table covered with dishes from the fish we had caught and listened to the happy conversations and watched the emerging romances.

I looked at Ryu, who had been watching me the whole time.

Despite his origins, he was never sent to a control center.

Never.

I felt the cutlery freeze. I thought about it immediately.

I can't let it happen. Calm down, Chisa.

"Are you okay?" asked my mum, looking at me in worry.

I nodded. She had such beautiful, navy wings. Dad had violet ones.

I sighed.

"I have to relax, I'll be fine" I announced, getting up from the table.

Hotaka looked at me, a little worried, but then I noticed that he started to eat my food, which I barely touched.

I leaned against a tree and the bark froze instantly. Chisa, for fuck's sake! Control yourself! This psychopath just looked at you!

"What happened, Chisa?" I heard next to my ear, which made me freeze grass around me. "Whoops?"

I looked at Ryu. He was petting frozen grass, breaking it.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"To get rid of you once again" explained Ryu calmly. "What are you looking at, Chisa? Are you are afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of you" I replied, although the crackling of the slowly freezing forest denied this. "I just don't like your company."

"That's rude of you to say that" said Ryu. "Very rude."

He grabbed my shoulder and pinned me to the tree. Frost covered his hand.

"You're very naughty, Chisa" Ryu chucked. "I have to tell autorities, what you're doing."

"Hey, leave him alone!" I heard Chobi's voice, who just ran to us, breaking grass on his way. "Let him go."

"Of course" Ryu took his hand off my shoulder. "I wanted to go anyway."

And he flew away, leaving us alone.

"Are you okay?" asked Chobi, walking to me. "Chisa?"

He grabbed my wrist.

"Don't touch me!" I jumped off him like he burned me, but his hand was covered in frost anyway. "I can't control my powers, I don't know, how to do it."

"It's normal, you're so young, kids..."

"I'm seventeen, Chobi."

He was silent for a moment.

"Seventeen?" repeated Chobi after a while. "You said that Hotaka..."

"That there is an age gap of three years between us. But I'm the older one" I corrected.

Chobi looked at me like I've just told him that we can't fly on swallows.

"Awesome" Chobi laughed. "So we haven't met for past 17 years?"

"Yeah."

"How?" asked Chobi. "How is that even possible?"

"You see? I told you, everything is frozen" Ryu returned with two employees from the watch centre.

"It was your fault, I saw that!" yelled Chobi.

"Children are too loyal to their friends" Ryu smiled maliciously and the watch centre guards grabbed my shoulders.

"I don't want to come back" I cried.

"You have to control your powers first. You won't have to then" replied one man.

"Hey, leave him alone! It's not his fault!" shouted Chobi, but no one listened to him.

And I felt that someting stung my shoulder and fainted...

* * *

I was laying on the bed, drawing in my sketchbook. I've survived outside of the Watch Centre just almost a day. I knew that it's going to be like this.

I heard knocking on the door.

"Come in" I said.

Vivi stood in the treshold, vissibly not pleased because of this situation.

"Hi" he said, closing the door behind him.

"Hey. Have you lost control too?" I was shocked.

Vivi has been in the watch centre once. A long time ago, when we were still children.

"Ivy got mad" started Vivi, sitting on the chair. "I mean, when they took you. Chobi told him, what Ryu has done. I was angry too and then I tried to stop Ivy from fighting with the watch centre's security, but I failed. They knocked Ivy out and I... I lost control, because I was worried about him."

"I see" I nodded, not stopping my drawing. "But you can lose control once a few years."

"You're right" Vivi smiled slightly. "But I'm glad that things turned out like this. Now I can ask you some questions."

"What questions?" I didn't understand, what he's talking about.

"Does Ryu always bring you here?" he asked and I nodded. "Since when?"

"Since I was four" I replied. "He hit my face with sand, when we were sitting in the sandbox. He loved guards taking me to the watch centre so much that I was outside for, I think..."

I thought for a moment.

"Don't tell me that you don't leave this place at all..." Vivi opened his eyes wide.

"Summing this up..." I took a piece of paper and a pen, then I counted days of freedom. "Twenty nine days."

"In one year?"

"Since I was sent there for the first time" I smiled sarcastically and put the paper away.

Vivi looked defeated.

"You're kidding me..."

"No" I shook my head. "Since thirteen years they're keep putting me here and, to be honest, I can control my powers less and less, because..."

"You're so scared that you're going to be sent here that you lose control again" Vivi finished my thoughts. "That's why Hotaka was here only once. It's not genes' fault, but this psycho's."

I nodded and then I heard knocking on the door.

"Come in."

"It's dinner time" announced Hikaru, who worked there. "Oh, Vivi. You're here. So I don't have to visit your room."

"We'll be here in one minute" said Vivi.

I walked to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"What I've just told is a secret, okay?" I looked at him firmly.

"But..."

"I don't want anyone to pity me" I explained. "Don't tell anyone. Please."

Vivi fell silent. I didn't know, how to interpret this...

* * *

Several days later I sat under the fence and started drawing again. Suddenly I felt that something stung me through the net. I turned around abruptly and saw Chobi.

By the way, the fence was now covered with frost...

"Oh, sorry..." Chobi stepped back from the fence. "You won't have problems because of this, will you?"

"Not here" I replied. "Why are you here?"

"Don't be mean, I came here for you" Chobi puffed his cheeks a little. "Vivi told us about your situation."

"I told him not to do it!"

"But he told us. And it’s good that he did" Chobi knelt next to fthe ence and sat down on his heels. "Chisa, you spent only twenty nine days free, since this psycho started bullyomg you!"

"And what are you going to do? No one believes me, everyone likes him" I sighed.

"I thought that I can at least show you, how it is" he said.

"What do you mean?"

"I can come here and talk to you" he explained. "They shouldn't forbid us to do it, right?"

"Until I lose control, it's fine" I replied.

Chobi smiled brightly.

* * *

Chobi and Ivy were meeting with us everyday. They've been giving us sweets, talking with us, telling jokes and playing games. The fence was the only thing, which prevented us from touching them. And I wanted to do it more and more. But I knew that if someone saw us, they would lock me in my room.

And then a whole year has passed. They let me and Vivi go the same day. Ivy and Chobi waited for us.

"Do you want to go to the riverside?" asked Ivy.

"Tomorrow. Today I want to spend time with my family" replied Vivi.

"Of course" Ivy embraced Vivi with his arm. "I'll walk you home, my lava girl."

"I'm not a girl, Ivy."

"But you're sweet."

"Ivy!"

I laughed and looked at Chobi. He was smiling like always.

"Should I walk you home?" he asked.

"If you want to..." I replied, feeling a little embarrassed.

Chobi led me to my home. I thanked him, we said our byes and I walked inside. I welcomed my family, we had a dinner, then we sat down in front of the fireplace, where we ate cake, which my mum baked specially for my return.

I went to my room. I used to be here so rarely that almost nothing changed since I was a kid. Besides my bed.

I finished a book I started reading in the watch centre already, I ate supper with my family, played some games with Hotaka and went to sleep.

It was nice to sleep in my own bed. But I knew that it was a matter of time until Ryu was going to take this from me again...

* * *

The next day we went to the riverside. Ivy pulled out a fishing rod and sat down with Vivi closer to the shore. I prefered not to touch the water.

"Something happened, Chisa?" asked Chobi, sitting next to me. "Don't you want join them?"

"I don't want to risk freezing the water" I explained.

"Don't panic" Chobi sighed. "When was the last time you had lost control?"

"Yesterday, when I was brushing my teeth" I replied, making Chobi blink. "I'm a hopeless case. I'm stressing out because of my reflection.in the mirror"

"I don't even know, what to say" said Chobi.

We were just sitting there and staring at flowing water. Suddenly we heard Ivy's happy voice.

"Yeah, I caught you, little fish!" he shouted, pulling fishing rod to himself. "Vivi, help me, this fish is stubborn as hell."

Vivi grabbed the fishing rod with Ivy, but this fish was too strong. Chobi ran to help them and then...

SHOOST.

Fish pulled everyone underwater. And pixies are the only fairies, who can swim, so...

"No!" I screamed, jumping on my feet.

Grass around me froze within a radius of about half a meter. I ran towards the river, freezing everything around, and ran into the river, but I didn't even get wet.

Surface was already covered with ice.

"Chobi! Vivi! Ivy!" I tried to find them, but I couldn't.

Only after a while I saw Chobi's red clothes. I fell to my knees and melted the ice there, then I pulled everyone out.

The river froze completely after this and that's why ice didn't break under us.

* * *

"It was terrifying" said Ivy, holding a cup of hot tea in his hands.

We were at Chobi's place and parents of all three fairies practically knelt on the floor in front of me after we explained, what happened.

Even if I still was a little nervous and the armchair I was sitting in was covered with frost...

"You saved our sons" Chobi's mum looked at me gratefully. "I don't know, how to even thank you."

"Well, your mind was cool in such a stressing situation" said Ivy's dad.

"Don't even start with your silly puns again" Vivi's mum threatened him with her finger.

"They’re funny to me" Vivi's dad shrugged.

"Men and their sense of humour..." mumbled Ivy's mum.

"Who wants cake?" Chobi's dad walked into the room with a shortcake he just made.

"I just hope you didn't get in trouble because of us" said Chobi, staring at his cup.

"Why are you so worried about this?" asked his mum.

"He didn't control, what he was doing" explained Vivi. "Well, he still can't control it..."

Everyone looked at the armchair I was sitting in.

"We won't say anything" promised Chobi's dad. "Nothing is going on, it's just frost. It'll melt."

"I could be worse, if Vivi were the one, who lost control" said Hotaka. "Then you wouldn’t be able to save this armchair."

"And floor" added Vivi's dad, making his wife nudge him in his ribs.

"Are you really going to keep this a secret?" asked my dad.

Everyone just nodded.

"Don't you dare even try backing out of it!" warned them my mum. "If you do, I'm going to flood this village!"

"Tsukiko" scolded her my dad.

After afternoon tea, we came back home. I went to sleep, hoping for a better future.

But like they say, hope is a mother of stupid people...

* * *

I was returning with Chobi from mushroom picking. Chobi proudly rolled a large porcino, I settled for a small chanterelle. And then none other than Ryu stood in our way.

"I heard about your heroic adventure yesterday, Chisa" he said calmly, walking towards us. "The whole village is praising you."

"Don't even walk closer" Chobi stood between me and him. "Get out. You can't stress him only because you like it!"

"Bullshit" Ryu grabbed his shirt and threw him away.

Confused Chobi fell on the ground and glared at Ryu, furious.

"Don't throw me like some bones for dogs!" he shouted, burning grass around him.

"Boring" said Ryu and in this moment everything faded to black.

"Chobi, get out from here!" I yelled and then I felt that Ryu punched my stomach.

I curled up and fell on the ground, then I grabbed Ryu's ankle.

"What the fuck are you doing, you ice freak?!" I heard his voice suddenly.

What have I done? I don't know, what. I didn't see anything.

...until the shadows disappeared.

Ryu was almost frozen. He stepped back and his frozen clothes were screeching, breaking like twigs. He couldn't move his left leg at all, after I grabbed it.

"You know what? On the other hand, it couldn't end better" Ryu smiled and ruffled his frosty hair.

"If you're going to call people from the watch centre..." Chobi wanted to punch him, but Ryu did it first.

"Then what? I can blame our little icicle for everything, so I can hurt you even more, you know?" Ryu laughed and flew away.

My powers didn't reach his wings.

"Chisa..." whispered Chobi, then he walked to me and hugged me. "He..."

"Step away!" I yelled, but Chobi didn't listen to me. "Being in my presence is dangerous! Ryu is going to kill you and blame me!"

"I don't care about it" said Chobi.

I pushed him away.

"You saw, what I had just done. Well, you see it all the time. I loose control everytime. I freeze furniture, chopsticks and plants, because I get scared over something trivial!"

"It's all because of him" said Chobi firmly. "It's his fault, not yours."

"I froze your armchair yesterday, because I was still stressed by the lake situation. I didn't notice you or Vivi making holes in floor and you were the ones, who almost died!"

"You're just sensitive, that's all."

"I'm a mixed offspring. You're a pure-blood."

"Vivi is an offspring too."

"But he can control himself! Do you really think I killed this fish, because I wanted to do it?!"

Chobi glared at me.

"You didn't?"

"No. I just wanted to protect myself. And I could've hurt you or Ivy. I didn't control it."

Chobi clenched his fists.

"I can't let him hurt you" I said. "I can't lose you."

"But if they lock you in the watch centre again, I’ll lose you" Chobi stomped his leg like some angry bunny. "And I don't want it!"

"Why?"

"I like you. Very much. Very, very much" explained Chobi. "And that's why I don't want you to return there. I want a normal life for you, not sitting behind the bars all the time."

"But I'm dangerous, why can't you understand that?!"

"Ryu is the dangerous one!"

"Really? So look around us and tell me that you feel safe."

Chobi looked around. He was staring at frozen plants and frosted trees. His porcino was completely frozen. My chanterelle too.

"You were scared. It's because of him."

"Were you scared too, Chobi?"

"Yes..."

"Exactly. And you're not burning forest right now" I sighed and moved away from Chobi, but he grabbed my hand.

"Chisa, there has to be something..."

"Don't touch me!"

Blood splashed over my face, arms, legs, clothes... I was looking in Chobi's wide open eyes. I was watching as he fell on the frozen ground, coughing with blood. He probably tried to understand, why icycles pierced him through and got stuck in a tree behind him. He also tried to call my name, but he couldn't do it and just stopped moving.

And I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even move, I just watched.

Until frightened guards from the Watch Centre didn't inject me with doubled sleeping potion.

* * *

I woke up in a cell...

Wait a minute.

I blinked. It really was a cell. I wasn't in the Watch Centre. I was in jail.

"Good afternoon" I heard someone's voice.

I got up. Guard was looking at me with an emotionless expression.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Light fairies revived your victim" he announced, opening the cell. "He's fine."

"Glad to hear it" I said, when the guard grabbed my shoulder. "Where are we going?"

"You're going to be executed. I want to watch" replied the guard, smiling maliciously.

He didn't even flinch, when I froze his hand.

So that's how I'm going to die.

I don't know, why, but I thought "Finally"...

* * *

I got tied to the trunk surrounded with dry twigs. Funny death for the ice fairy, right? As a total opposite to my powers.

Well, not exactly. They would have to pour lava on me.

"Chisa, the child of water and air, fairy of ice" I heard loud voice of the judge. "You're guilty of murdering Chobi, the child of fire, fairy of fire. Do you admit that you killed him with cold blood?"

I nodded. My mum fainted.

"Well, good night" said the judge and snapped his fingers at executor.

Executor walked to me, lit a flame on his finger and lit up the wood.

I closed my eyes. This is going to hurt. But at least I can finally rest, right?

"No!" I suddenly heard a voice.

I opened my eyes and through smoke I saw Chobi in his pajamas going towards me, pushing other people away.

I felt tears in my eyes, when flames reached my legs.

It hurt.

It hurt like hell.

I closed my eyes.

I was losing my mind.

And probably started crying.

But then fire burned out. I felt someone untying me, picking me up and jumping from the stake with me.

"Don't come closer or I'm going to burn this village to the ground" growled Chobi, still holding me in his arms.

"Chobi, my dear..." I heard his mum's voice. "He killed you..."

"Accidentally" Chobi interrupted her. "He lost control and it was my fault. Well, not only mine, but Ryu's too."

"Ryu?"

"Darkness fairy. He provokes him all the time, just to put him in this mental hospital again! He's obsessed with bullying him!"

"What do you have to say, Ryu?" the judge glared at him.

Ryu just shrugged.

"I just think this ice freak brainwashed him."

"That's not true!" shouted Hotaka. "I've seen you many times, scaring him!"

"I saw it too!" confirmed Saiki. "Akane was with me back then!"

"He's doing everything to make Chisa lose his control" added Akane.

"And we've always been telling you about it" reminded them Saiki.

"But no one listened to us!" shouted Ni~ya. "Because he was acting like this usually only among offsprings."

"You ignored even pure-bloods' words" added Yoshihiko.

"It's really hecking unfair, you know..." said Kiri quietly.

"I can confirm" Hikari nodded. "You have to start listenong to us."

"I understand that teenagers are just children in your eyes, but that doesn't mean that we can't see, what's going on" said Ni~ya.

Ryu just laughed.

"See? You can see? Good luck."

All we could see was darkness. Deep and frightening.

"That's why marriages between earth and air fairies scare me!" cried my dad. "Do you see, what's going on?!"

"Well, we're not, in fact" I heard Ivy's dad voice.

"Dad!" this time it was Ivy himself.

And then we heard a thud, short scream and another thud.

We could see again after that and we saw Meiko, who was leaning over Ryu, holding a torch in her hand.

"I hit him" she announced. "He was annoying and he didn't even notice that I'm blind."

Meanwhile Ryu was a little burned, unconscious and finally defenseless.

* * *

Light fairies healed me, so I could leave the hospital quickly. Ryu was executed, but I didn't ask, how. I really didn't care.

I went with my parents and Hotaka to the park. Today it was a Firefly Festival, so the whole village was there to observe it.

It was almost midnight. I was looking at one of the fireflies, sipping grape juice, when Hotaka nudged my cheek.

"Look" my brother pointed on Chobi, who was standing there with his friends and discussing about something with them happily.

I got up, gave my juice to Hotaka and walked towards Chobi. Ivy saw me first and patted Chobi's shoulder, pointing on me.

"Chisa" Chobi looked at the ground. "You're causing ear;y winter."

"Because of emotions" I started to walk towards him. "Why did you save me?"

"I've told you before. I like you. Very much" replied Chobi, but Vivi smacked his head. "Ouch! Alright, alright. I love you. Are  y o u  happy?"

Ivy and Vivi laughed under their breath.

"What?" I blinked.

"I fell in love with you. That's why I couldn't lose you" explained Chobi.

I walked to him, freezing everything around me.

"And you're not scared?"

"No. I have fire powers. I can melt this everytime" Chobi smiled radiantly.

"Good, because I can become too emotional right now" I said, putting my hands on his cheeks and kissing his lips.

But I think Chobi didn't care about his frosty hair, if he kissed me back.

Melting everything around us, because even pureblood fairies can't control their emotions in such situations.

The end

Beauty and the Beast - The Rose of Darkness

Band: The Guzmania&Acme (ex.DIV), NEXX

Pairing: Chobi&Chisa

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, fantasy, AU

Series: "Beauty and the Beast"

Warnings: magic, violence

Note: Yajuu (Chisa) has a body of a beast because of his curse, but when he meets Kirei (Chobi), he suddenly realises that he's not a monster at all.

____________

Kirei - Belle

Yajuu - the Beast

He appeared suddenly, in the middle of the night. He was some old man asking for shelter. And we, naive people, let him in.

He stayed in our castle for a week. He was a little annoying, but he was just a poor, sick grandpa. He's old and he's getting crazy because of it. And he had a soft, if I can call it that, side for me.

"Come with me" he said, grabbing my hand and walking with me to the ballroom. "You're a good kid. Do you want a rose?"

I looked at the rose. It was such a dark shade of red that it was almost black. I looked at the old man. He was grimacing, like he tried to smile, but failed. We thought that he's just like this. He was just a weak grandpa, wasn't he?

"I'm not a girl, so I have to refuse" I said.

"Hey, don't be like that" grandpa put this flower just under my nose. "Take this rose. I got it especially for you."

Of course I was stupid enough to take it from him. Rose’s thorn stabbed my finger, so I hissed and wanted to drop the rose.

But I couldn't let it go of my hand.

"Amazing" said the old man and his wrinkles started to disappear.

I remember that my parents, my brother, my butler and my maid came to see, what happened, when they heard my scream.

A rose crawled under my skin. I felt its thorns, which activated the curse of a sorcerer, because this old man was just that. A sorcerer.

As my father rushed to stop him, the wizard summoned a staff and struck it against the floor. In this moment, my family and two servant-friends became a candlestick, a broom, a clock, a teapot and a teacup.

And the sorcerer stood there and laughed mockingly as I laid on the tiles covered in fur, with a mutated body that I didn't even have the strength to look at at the time.

"If someone is going to fall in love with you, when you're in this body, I'll give back your old one" announced the sorcerer. "For now be my battery of the eternal youth."

He left and I looked at my hands. They were covered with yellow fur, under which, when I spread it with my fingers, I saw a rose. Yes, its vines were under my skin. The flower itself was in my chest. The sorcerrer had a reason to choose me. He could cast a spell on my brother instead, but he prefered to watch the rose irritate my already hypersensitive bronchis, causing an asthma attacks to occur twice as often.

I looked at the mirror only once. I saw claws, tail, fangs, horns and yellow fur over all my body. It was enough to break every mirror in the castle.

And hide in my room, then leave it once a year...

* * *

It was one of winter evenings. I didn't like to go out during the day, because I was scared that someone could see me.

I went to the forest. Branches were breaking under my feet, my tail was sweeping the snow lazily. And then I heard it.

A voice.

"Excuse me, is anybody here?" a little girl's voice.

She probably got lost in the forest.

But I'm a monster! If she sees me, she'll run away...

Well, I have to risk it, wolves are common in this area.

"Where are you, kid?" I asked and I heard a cry of joy.

"Here!" I saw a girl waving her hand. "I got lost, when I went to the forest to pick flowers, because this one boy started chasing me. I don't like him, he's terribly rude."

I looked at her. I couldn't understand, why she's talking to me normally.

"Aren't you scared of me?" I was surprised.

"Why should I?" she replied with a question.

"I'm a monster. You should" I explained.

"Monster?" this time she was the one surprised.

She walked to me and put her small hands on my chest.

"I can feel your beating heart. You can't be a monster. You wouldn't want to help me."

Then I realised.

"Are you blind, right?" I asked.

She nodded.

"What's your name?"

"Meiko" she replied.

"Come with me, I'll take you to my home. In the morning we're going to look for yours" I replied, taking her hand.

"Morning? Is it night already?" she started to panic. "My older brother probably lost his mind by now!"

"You'll meet him in the morning" I promised her.

"Mister..."

"What?"

"You have fur and claws."

"I know."

"So you're really a monster" she said, when we were already in front of the gate. "But you're nice."

"Thanks" I opened the gate and we walked inside.

* * *

"Maybe she's the one, who can lift the curse?" wondered my mum, pouring hot water into the bathtub.

"She's just a kid, Tsukiko" said dad. "Should we keep her here until her twenties, according to you?"

"And do you want to be a clock forever, Jirou?" asked mum, this time pouring cold water to prevent Meiko from burning herself.

"No, but forcing a child to marriage is a little icky" dad sighed.

"Yajuu is beautiful, nobody would deny his feelings!" cried Tsukasa, our butler.

He was kind of obsessed over me, to be honest.

"You can’t force a child to love him" murmured Hayato, my childhood friend.

He's been our manservant since his parents died.

"I helped her getting here" Hotaka, my younger brother, jumped into the bathroom and Meiko followed him, covered only with a towel.

"How old are you?" I asked, helping her get into the bathtub.

"Ten" she replied, holding the towel with her fingers. "Water is fine, it's warm."

"If you want to be alone, just tell us" I said.

She shook her head.

"Nah. My brother always helps me shower" she replied.

"Your brother seems to be nice" I said.

"He is. Sometimes he's too nice" she mumbled.

I helped her to change, but I had to close my eyes, and then we put her in a bed in one of the chambers.

We were supposed to finally take her home in the morning. She needed to sleep.

* * *

I woke up abruptly, hearing a noise.

"Burglar! Burglar is here!" Tsukasa was screaming, running around my bed. "Master, wake up, someone wants to rob us!"

I pulled pants over my rear and ran to check, what is going on. Who was stupid enough to break into a monster’s casle? This sorcerrer told everyone in Meiko's village that such a creature like me lives here!

I ran into the kitchen. The window was opened and our burglar was sitting there with a pot on his head, covered with flour.

"It's you!" he yelled, trying to get up, but he tripped and fell again then got up.

He threw a pot and jumped on me with a knife.

"Tell me, where is my sister, you beast!"

I would tell him, but he sat on me, so I couldn't breathe for a moment and then my body decided to continue this state.

"Hey, little monster. Are you okay?" really, burglar, who wanted to stab me to death, felt pity, because I had an asthma atack?

Really?!

Kitchen was too far from my chamber. And I didn't take my inhaler with me. Awesome...

I lost consciousness after a while, even if this youngster tried to prevent it.

* * *

"Hey, beastie? World to beastie, say something" I heard, waking up.

I saw a burglar, who was sitting at my bedside. He still had flour in his hair.

"Erm, I'm sorry for everything. Meiko already explained to me that I'm an idiot. By the way, your in-something is on the night stand. The kettle told me that I should give you this and wow, you started breathing again. Furries are always like this?"

Gods, why is he talking so much...

"It's just asthma" I replied.

He looked at me with curiosity.

"Is this some illness?"

"Yes."

"Does it make you breathless?"

"Yes."

"Not good" mumbled the burglar. "Oh, right. I'm Kirei, Meiko's brother, nice to meet you. I'm sorry for everything once again."

I smiled slightly.

"My name is Yajuu" I introduced myself.

"Funny name. Listen, I..." he started slowly. "Thanks for saving Meiko. By the way, you're so tall. It's awesome, isn't it? How tall are you, two metres? I want to be tall too, but mother nature hates me."

"You're shorter than 160 centimeters, right?" I asked.

Kirei snorted.

"I'm not! I mean, I’m three centimeters short from that..." he scratched his head and looked away.

I laughed.

"Don't laugh, you're just tall as hell" he mumbled.

"It's because of the curse" I replied.

"Curse?" Kirei seemed confused.

I wanted to explain to him, what the curse is, but I felt such pain that I almost fainted. Rose's thorns were stabbing my body.

Can something eat this sorccerrer, please...?

"Hey, Yajuu? Are you okay?" Kirei put his hand on my cheek. "Is everything fine?"

"I don't think so" I mumbled. "We can't talk about this curse, I think."

"So let's not talk about it" said Kirei. "If something like that is happening, we shouldn't."

I sighed.

"Follow me. I'll find some chamber for you" I said, grabbing his hand.

When we wished each other good night, I realised that he can see me. And he still wasn't scared to touch me, was worried about me and probably carried me from the kitchen to my chamber.

Why is so he nice for such a monster like me...?

* * *

The next day I found winter coats for Kirei and Meiko, because their worn jackets made me feel cold, even if I had fur, then we walked towards the village.

"I hate winter" said Kirei, trying to walk through the snow. "We can't wear summer clothes and we have to dress warm. And we're often sick. It doesn't make sense, right?"

"Right" I nodded.

"If you want to know, he always whines like that" announced Meiko. "Yajuu?"

"What?"

"Do you hear that?"

I froze suddenly.

"I do."

"What you, blind girl and beastie, hear?" asked Kirei and stopped next to me, when he saw this.

Wolves. There were seven of them or more.

The whole pack!

"Run!" I screamed, grabbing Kirei's and Meiko's hands and running back towards my castle.

One of wolves jumped on my back, pushing me into the snow. I kicked it, but others came to help their companion.

"Run! Now!" I urged the young siblings, picked up a branch from the ground and tried to push away these wolves.

Two of them jumped on me, knocking me on the ground. Well, it's going to be fast. They're going to tear me apart and my suffering under the curse wll finally end.

"URYA!" I heard suddenly and both wolves were pushed away with a heavy winter shoe and some thick branch. "He saved my sister's life, get off him!"

Wolves looked at Kirei like was a madman and he started barking like a mutated dog, then he threw stones towards them, which finally made them run away.

"Stupid flea-bags" he mumbled, looking at me. "Hey, beastie, you're bleeding a lot. Are you okay?"

I looked at my hands. Fur wasn't as yellow as always, it was scarlet.

"Hey, but don't faint right now!" he screamed, when I fell on the snow, diving in the darkness.

* * *

"Stupid bastards, hurting poor prince just like that" I heard Tsukasa's voice.

"Prince?" Kirei was confused.

"Yajuu is a prince. And these three there are a king, a queen and his younger brother" explained Hayato.

"Hayato, I don't think that you should talk about it" said mum.

"Tsuki, don't be mad. They would know sooner or later" replied dad.

"He's waking up, I think" I felt that Meiko poked my cheek.

I opened my eyes. Kirei was leaning over me.

"Are you alive, beastie?"

"I think I am..." I replied, trying to sit up, but I failed.

"Well, it doesn't look too well" said Kirei. "You know, what? We should stay here with Meiko a little longer."

"Why?" I was confused.

"You can't take care of yourself in such condition. And you can't rely on walking rubbish to help you" explained Kirei.

"You don't have to pity me..." I said, given up.

"I have to. You saved Meiko's life twice and my own once, sacrificing yourself during our fight with these howling flea-bags" replied Kirei. "I have to pay you back."

"You paid me back. You saved my life, when you came back for me" I pointed out.

"I only paid back my debt. What about Meiko?" asked Kirei. "Don't whine. It's in vain."

I sighed. This boy is really stubborn...

* * *

Kirei has been taking care of me for two weeks or maybe a little longer. I didn't understand, why he's doing it. I looked like a monster. And my asthma wasn't making it any easier for him.

When I felt better, I decided to paint something. I liked to draw since I was a kid and I even was in an art school, before I was cursed.

I thought for a moment. What I should put on the canvas? A landscape or something else?

"Hey, Yajuu. What are you doing?" asked Kirei, appearing suddenly behind my back, which startled me and made me jump, that's why I dropped my paintbrush. "Do you want to paint?"

"Yes, I was preparing to do it" I replied, reaching my hand towards the paintbrush and I caught it in the same moment as Kirei.

We looked at each other just like in these cliche romance books, which my mum used to read, when she was still a human, then we froze.

He saved my life. Probably even twice, because when he broke in, I could have died because of an asthma attack, if he didn't carry me to my chamber and didn't give me my medicine.

And he saved me from these wolves. So he's already returned the favor twice. He has one left.

"Can I paint you?" I asked, when I realised that I wished the last time would be, when he would take the curse off me.

But who can fall in love with someone like me?

"You can, of course" replied Kirei, getting up. "But do you want me to sit still, when you're painting me?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"He can't sit still at all" explained Meiko, entering the chamber. "You'll finish your fun time later, there's dinner for you in the dining room."

She turned on her heel and left.

"Is she really just ten years old?" I asked.

"Yes, she is. Why do you ask?"

"She acts very responsible" I explained.

"She's been always like this" Kirei shrugged. "Can we go already? I hope there's going to be a lot of meat, because last time it wasn't enough.

Then he walked towards the dining room, skipping around. I was still weak, so I followed him slowly.

He's crazy. But I love his craziness.

* * *

Working on my paiting lasted for a week. Meiko was right. Kirei couldn't sit still even for a minute.

But in the end his portrait was finished.

"Done" I announced, slipping from the chair and walking towards Kirei. "Come with me, I'll show you. Just close your eyes."

I grabbed his hand and led him to the paiting.

"Can I see?"

"Yes."

Kirei opened his eyes slightly, but then he immediately opened them wide. He looked at the paiting, then at me, totally in shock.

"It's wonderful!" he exclaimed. "How? My gods, you're so talented, beastie!"

I wanted to hide under my desk.

"Do you really think so?" I asked, blushing.

"I'm serious! Don't you want to be a professional artist? Or maybe you can't be, if you're a prince?" asked Kirei.

"I would like to, but..." I sighed. "I can't with this look."

"Don't be silly, if you put on a hood, you can do it" said Kirei. "You can't just give up your dreams, you know? You have to believe in yourself. The art you've made is beautiful. It's a shame that you can't paint Meiko... I mean, you can, but she can't see it."

"If I stick different size pebbles to the canvas, she can see it with her fingers" I suggested.

"Can you really do it?" Kirei was surprised.

"Of course" I nodded. "In my garden there's a lot of them. Can you help me pick them up?"

"Yeah!" he grabbed my hand. "Come with me, beastie. We have to make my sister happy. She deserves this."

I followed him. I felt this positive, bubbly energy in his presence. It was making me smile. I haven't been smiling so much since I became a beast.

* * *

We sat Meiko down against the wall. First I drew a sketch with a pencil, then I stuck stones and pebbles to it. Then I painted them It lasted about as much as with Kirei's portrait, because Meiko could sit still for a long time, not like her older brother.

"You have to wait until the paint dries up" I told her, when I finished the paiting.

"For now you can show it to my brother. He's probably more excited than me" said Meiko.

"I'll show both of you tomorrow. Now go to sleep" I stroked her head and she giggled.

Why those siblings treat me like that? I'm just an ugly and scary monster...

I returned to my chamber. I opened the door, but then Kirei walked to me.

"Hey, Yajuu, I have a problem" he scratched his head. "You know... I have no idea, where my chamber is."

"You've been here for a month" I said, surprised.

"I know, I'm clumsy" he laughed a little hysterically. "Can you lead me there?"

"Of course" I replied and he grabbed my hand, then he started walking somewhere.

Didn't he just say that he doesn't know, where his chamber is?

He led me to the balcony. Snow was shining on trees, reflecting the moonlight.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" asked Kirei.

"Yes" I admitted. "But I spoil the mood, I think."

"You?" Kirei blinked. "Stop it. True beauty is internal. And sometimes people can look just perfect, meanwhile inside they're rotting like old apples. You can't judge a book by its cover."

"What do you mean?" I didn't understand, what was the point of his speech.

"That you have a heart of gold" he put his hand on my chest, just like his sister, when we first met. "Don't worry about your appearance. Until your heart is beating, everything is okay."

I froze. I was staring at him in shock. What is he talking about? Does he really think that I'm beautiful just because of my personality? But I am...

"And don't cry, for gods' sake!"

...just an emotionally unstable monster...

"Kirei..." I whispered and he smiled fondly.

"I'm going to sleep" he announced, streching out. "I know the way. I just wanted to make you realise, how wrong you are about yourself."

And he left the balcony, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

* * *

The next day I showed Kirei and Meiko the latter's portrait. They both were amazed.

"How beautiful" said Meiko. "Like you."

"Like me?" I repeated.

"You took care of us" she giggled. "No one wanted to do it before."

"Before?"

"We're orphans" explained Meiko. "Kirei is my only family. No one wanted to take care of us, because... You know. I'm blind. So my nine years older brother had to do it."

"So he's ninteen?"

"Yes. Is it a problem?"

"No, but I'm one year younger than him" I replied, making Meiko surprised.

"Strange, I thought you're older" she said. "But I'm still grateful."

"No problem" I smiled and stroked her head. "Do you want to go to the ballroom?"

"I don't know... I can't see it" she said.

"But you can hear the music" I grabbed her small hand.

"Kirei!" Meiko called him, when we were passing by the kitchen.

Kirei walked out with a cookie in one hand and a ham onigiri in other.

"What happened, sis?"

"We're going to the ballroom. Come with us" she urged him and he followed us without whining.

We walked into the ballroom. I snapped my fingers, turning music on. After the sorcerrer put spell on us, the castle was alive.

"Wow, this music is pretty" said Meiko, starting dancing like a nixie on the clearing.

"Kirei?" I looked at him.

He was thinking about something.

"Someone put a curse on you" he said suddenly. "On you, your family and your servants. That's why you look like a monster, your castle is alive and your loved ones are dishes and other things. Is there some way to turn you into a human again?"

"It is, but..." I felt this pain again.

I fell to my knees. Kirei ran to me and grabbed my shoulders.

"Say it! He won't kill you. He has some reason to not do it, right?"

"This rose is a source of energy to his eternal youth" I explained, feeling spikes stabbing me deeply. "Someone has to fall in love with me to make me a human again. But who can do it, if I look like a beast?!"

Kirei caught me, when I almost fell on the floor.

"Me" replied Kirei. "I love you. I told you that true beauty is internal, right?"

"Kirei..." I whispered and then we heard a scream.

We looked up. We saw the sorccerrer, holding Meiko hostage and looking at us firmly.

"So cliche" he said, clenching fingers on her shoulder. "Do you really believe in what I told you back then? That I'm going to let you go, if someone falls in love with you? Bullshit!"

"You promised him, so now do it!" Kirei shouted, getting up and helping me to do the same.

"Whoopsy-daisy, I lied! I'm a sorcerrer, brats. I don't have to keep my promises" the sorcerrer laughed and summoned his staff. "But I can play another game."

Before we could do anything, he touched Meiko with his staff and changed her into a daisy.

"Meiko!" called her Kirei and ran to the sorcerrer, who threw her to him like bones to his dog.

"I'll break the spell, if you leave and never come back" said the sorcerrer.

"You said you don't keep promises" Kirei pointed out.

"Of course I don't! Unless they're helping me in my plan" the sorcerrer laughed. "So?"

"Kirei, go" I said. "Go and save your sister."

"Forget about it" said Kirei. "I won't leave nor you or Meiko!"

"So I don't have a choice" the sorcerrer put his hand into his pocket. "I don't want to waste my time for you."

Knife he threw towards Kirei was sharp. It was a beautiful dagger, with gilded ornaments. I could've examined it perfectly, because it pierced my chest and was stuck in it.

"Yajuu!" Kirei ran to me and caught me and pushed away the sorcerrer, who tried to do the same. "You asshole!"

Kirei put Meiko on me and ran towards the sorcerrer, then he punched him and took his staff away from him.

"I have to heal him, you idiot! Give this to me!" he shouted forst wrinles started appearing on his face. "Give it back to me!"

"Never" Kirei threw the staff against the wall. "You won't touch anyone I love!"

"Have you fallen in love with this ugly creature for real?" the sorcerrer was shocked.

He looked just like when he gave me the rose. He tried to get up, but he couldn't. His body was too old.

"Yajuu" said Kirei and ran to me. "Yajuu!"

He shook me.

"Yajuu, don't die! I really love you! I didn't lie just to break the curse! Really!"

"I believe you" I whispered. "I fell in love with you too, Kirei. But until I die, he won't lose his powers and is going to live..."

Before I closed my eyes, I saw the sorcerrer crawling towards his staff. He desperately tried to catch it. But then only Kirei's voice, whispering and sobbing, left. And finally everything disappeared.

* * *

"Yajuu, sweetie, can you hear me?" I heard my mum's voice and I opened my eyes.

I saw her leaning over me.

Wait a minute.

I sat up and looked around.

My parents, brother, Hayato and Tsukasa were humans.

Meiko too.

Withered rose was laying next to me and I saw a pile of ash nearby.

"Kirei broke the staff" explained Hotaka. "I mean, when you died, this asshole died too and we returned to our bodies."

"We ran here and Kirei explained, what happened. We were worried about you, because even if this cursed rose left your body, you were still laying on the floor lifeless" added Tsukasa. "Kirei was standing above you, because, you know, you returned to your body too and he probably couldn't understand your beauty."

"And then he picked the staff up and, just like Hotaka said, he broke it" added Hayato. "Some dust fell from it, so Kirei decided to spread it over you in hope that maybe it's going to wake you up."

"It didn't work, so Tsukiko said that maybe it has to be activated, so this crazy boy kissed you" explained my dad, looking like he was in shock that his son was kissed by a man.

"So, you're alive, right?" asked Meiko.

"Yeah, I'm alive" I confirmed, then I looked up.

Kirei stood there, with a broken staff in his hands, and was smiling.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Nothing" he dropped a staff, grabbed my hands and helped me to get up. "I'm just happy that you're not as tall as you were, when you were a beast, so I won't have a problem with doing it. And I think that my name matches you better."

"What are you talking about?" I blinked, then I was kissed again.

This time I was conscious, thouhg.

"Jirou, stop it, he's finally happy" I heard my mum's voice, who probably nudged my dad's ribs, just like always, when she didn't agree with him.

Ladies and gentlemen, lady Tsukiko, serious queen and mother of two sons...

But she's right. I'm finally happy.

The end

The power of smile

Band: The Guzmania&Acme (ex.DIV)

Pairing: Chobi&Chisa

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: -

Note: Chisa is trying to describe, why he's attracted to Chobi.

It's easy for me to say what I feel for you. I can talk about this for hours in my mind. But can I see you?

Maybe it's strange, but first thing which someone can notice about you is strength. A powerful will to live, radiating like a bright light, overflowing onto those around you. You can drown in it, sink like in the water.

Then someone slowly gets to know you and notices more acceptances of your personality and appearance. Your hair is usually messy, even if you try to control it, some strands will have a life of its own. You don"t have much depth in your eyes, but I can see a spark of hope in them, as if they were burning with a thirst for adventure. And I love your smile from all these things. Just angelic smile, not revealing what is really hidden in your little body.

You're short, it's a fact. But who cares about it in our times? If these people exist, they should seriously think about their priorities. And I'm not much taller, after all.

You have full mouth and beautiful hands, even if your fingers aren't slim. But they have something in them making one unable to stop watching them.

You often joke that we are together because our hands are beautiful. And you don't understand, why I think that my aren't. But you don't understand a lot of my opinions about my appearance.

I could have a girlfriend with big tits, slim legs and fluffy hair. I could have a manly, muscular boyfriend. But why? Nobody understands, why I chose you. Sometimes even I don't understand.

And then you pick me up and carry me. Just because. Because you are strong after all and you could punch someone harder than many muscular drummers. Satoshi can confirm. This bruise under his eye, which you made because of Shougo, is an evidence. Even Naoto praised you back then.

But I don't see a difference between you punching Satoshi and you picking me up from the floor, when I faint or when I have so strong asthma attack that I can't find my inhaler.

And you know what? When I tell you that you're handsome, don't reply that I am the one who is supposed to be pretty in our relationship. It offends my taste, Hiroki. Okay?

And nothing is more exciting than your rough warm hands sliding over my cool body. Sometimes it's good to have sensitive skin.

The end

Velvet

Band: The Guzmania&Acme (ex.DIV)

Pairing: Chobi&Chisa

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: some erotic scenes

Note: Chobi's thoughts about women and Chisa.

Or just a sensual miniature.

I always thought that women are beatiful. They have the perfect bodies and skin soft like silk. It was true. But then I met you and female part of the population didn't interest me anymore. Even though I was hundred percent sure I was straight.

My fingers move along your velvet skin, making you shiver. I lean over you, with my black hair lightly touching your face. Your bright hair spread over the pillow. You look at me with your big, black eyes, touching my warm cheek with your cold hand and kissing me passionately.

You have a habit of grabbing me by my wrists, which always ends with scratches, looking like I tried to give a cat a bath. And that's usually my cover-up story. Because while our friends laugh to themselves, our fans wouldn't understand.

An you know what? When I fall asleep next to you, feeling your warm breath on my skin, I think to myself that I don't care about all those women with perfect bodies and silk skin. I definitely prefer velvet.

The end

Letters to days and nights

Band: DIV, D=OUT in the background

Pairing: Chobi&Chisa, Naoto&Shougo, Yoshi (ex. CatFist)&Meiko (OC)

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: -

Note: Chisa's diary.

 "Friday, 11th November"

It's raining. I think that it's a good day to start writing this diary. Maybe it's immature. But it's not a bad idea... Right?

I like rain. I like, when it hits the iron windowsills, splashing drops in all directions. I like the greyness outside the window and the feeling that the sky is crying about the passing time.

I like rain. I like getting wet. It cleanses me. The rain is cool, running through my hair, soaking my hot cheeks, cooling my hot soul. I like rain.

But sometimes it's too cool. Then it gets cold, my bronchi don't like the cold, they don't like the rain, they hate being exposed to it. I get home, use my tiny fingers to take my inhaler out of my pocket and I calm down my dear friend asthma, who has said that my love of rain is wrong. Forbidden.

You say so too, drying my hair with a towel, even if I could do it myself. I love you, but your overprotectiveness infuriates me. We even stopped going to our favourite coffee shop. I want to drink cocoa there again on a frosty winter day and eat a vanilla fruit cake. But I can't, because you think I'm definitely going to have an attack. That's why we go there on warm days, drink tea and eat chocolate cake with nuts, because they don't serve it in other seasons than autumn and winter. It's a seasonal cake. And they don't make cocoa in the summer, because it's a custom.

Sometimes I feel like you're like rain. That I love you and hate you at the same time.

"Sunday, 27th November"

Yesterday was UNiTE.'s anniversary live. It's weird to be on stage with just Shougo. We wanted you to play with us, but Meiko was in the hospital. You panicked like always, even if it's just an appendix. You're as worried about her as You are about me. She once told me she's tired of being treated like a child. Like a doll that will break when you drop it.

I'm fed up with this too. More and more. I know her pain.

But I love You and I can't tell You that. I've never been able to tell anyone what is bothering me. I've always suppressed it. And then I reached for a knife.

I was stupid. A teenager, who thought that if he dies, it'll be better. It won't. It'll be worse. Especially for those, who love him.

It scares me that it's not just teenagers these days, who feel this way. But I can't help them. All I could do was pour my feelings into the lyrics of "Answer".

Fans wonder, why I'm crying. They blame that reaction on the fact that it was our first release. First music video. First look.

It's not true. They don't know anything. They only think they know. That they knew everything about us by reading Twitter posts and watching YouTube comments.

They're wrong. They don't even know, how much. And how much pain and misunderstanding is often hidden behind black marks on snow-white paper...

Besides, there is no us - our band. There is only a project with Shougo and You with coffee in a blue mug, sitting with a cat on your lap in an armchair, reading manga.

* * *

"I'm in my twenties! You don't have to treat me like an egg. My parents were like this and they're still like this. >>You can't do that, you can't go there, give up<<. I can deal with it, really. I'm not a child!" screamed Chisa, hitting the table with his bare hands.

Well, according to Chobi, he didn't have to and shouldn't do that.

"I don't treat you like a child. It would be at least weird."

"But you have to show me that you're older every now and then! We're both adult and the fact that when you were in your first band, I was drawing some butterflies in my sketchbook doesn't mean that you can act like my nanny!"

"Don't overreact or..."

"Or what? I'm going to have an attack? Okay, I can have it! It's nothing! I've been born with an asthma, I've spent a lot of time in the hospital, I know, what I have to do. Do you understand? I know! I won't die because of some stupid trip to the shop or running downstairs! I've been playing games during P.E., before Hayato showed me his guitar. As long as I have my inhaler with me, I'm safe!"

"But it's not pleasant for me or you!"

"Right, especially you, hmm? You're worrying about my asthma more than me. You're overreacting. And don't deny it!"

"I'm just worried about you!"

"You'll develop anxiety, if you’ll worry like that. And heart problems. Combined with coffee and cigarettes, you have it for sure."

"I don't know, what are you talking about just now..."

"I quit, you can quit too."

"It seems that you're overprotective too."

"I just want to show, how it is."

"But I have a good reason, not such stupid things!"

"Stupid things? You're doing stupid thing, Hiroki. If you didn't argue with Satoshi over everything, our band would still exist."

"Satoshi is a psycho. He gave Shougo some psychotropics!"

"You're paranoic. You're going to blame Satoshi for opening Pandora's Box soon..."

"Should I blame Satoshi for asthma's existence? Good idea."

"Hiroki!"

"What? I don't understand. You're screaming at me, because I'm worried about you. Should I be the emotionless human being like Satoshi?"

"I don't want to be treated like an egg."

"I'm not treating you like an egg."

"You do! We can't go to the coffee shop, because it's Winter and I can have an attack. You left our band, because your quarells with Satoshi were stressing me and I had attacks more often. You also don't like to arque with me and you agree with me almost all the time, because you can't even think about making your Sachi mad. He can have an attack, right? But you're such a perfect partner, so Sacchan says, Sacchan gets! If I tell you to bring me Satoshi's head, are you going to cut it off?"

"I can't do that, he's too strong... But maybe I should stab him first? Or should I use some tranquilizers? Like veterinarians use to deal with wild animals."

"Hiroki, please. Be serious."

"I can bring you Yoshito's head. I can win the fight with him really quick."

"Hiroki."

"What?"

"You're trying to change the topic."

"Yup, I'm trying."

"Stop it. We're not talking about serious topics and that's why everything is like that right now."

"I don't know, what you mean. You're overreacting, so sit down, I'll make you your jasmine tea, then we’ll watch some anime and everything will be okay" Chobi smiled and went to the kitchen.

"You still don't understand, what I mean..." Chisa sighed, following him.

"Yes, I don't understand. And I probably won't. But I'll try to accept this."

"But you shouldn't just accept it! Just yell at me, scream, do something! Why do you always scold me only for overworking myself?!"

"But I don't want to yell at you."

"Because I'll get angry and have an attack?"

"Yes, but..."

"Stop it."

"What?"

"Be quiet. Just be quiet. Oh, right, you can't be quiet."

"Sachi."

"Are you finally annoyed? Come on, scold me or something" Chisa shook his shoulder.

"Sachi, stop. This argument is leading us to nothing" said Chobi, opening the cupboard. "What cup do you want for your tea?"

"And you really don't understand anything what I just said?"

"Do you want a green one?"

"Are you ignoring me?"

"Can I give you the one with a doggie?"

"Hiroki!"

"I told you that I accept your opinion. Now calm down, before you're seriously going to have an asthma attack. Or just start crying."

"I'm not such an emotional looser as you think!"

"I don't think that you're an emotional looser."

"You're acting like you do think that. You're treating me like an egg. Like a child. You're trying to ignore the fact that I don't like it. Do you really think I'm just a small boy?"

"It would be really weird, if I thought about you as a small boy."

"Stop joking!"

"And you should stop acting like a real kid!" Chobi turned around and looked at Chisa. "That's bollocks, what you've been talking about! I used to think like this, when I was in high school! Sit down, before..."

"If you say that I'm going to have an attack, I'll punch you."

"You're not strong enought to punch me."

Chisa blinked. He looked at Chobi, then drew in his breath through his teeth, turned on his heel and ran to the bedroom.

"Where are you going? Sachi, come back here! Sachi! Kurihara, for fuck's sake!" Chobi ran after him.

"Shut up" groaned Chisa, taking his belongings off the shelves.

"What?"

"Just shut up."

"What are you doing?"

"I'll visit you tomorrow and take the rest. Or maybe in the next week. When I cool down."

"You can't live without me for one day."

"I can, when we have lives with Shougo. I don't need you 24 hours per day" Chisa pushed Chobi off his way, left the apartment and closed the door so abruptly that a calendar hung up the wall dropped on the floor.

"Nameko..." started Chobi, looking at his cat, who just woke up and walked to him. "Did he just slammed the door? Tell me that..."

He sat down on the floor.

"...that he didn't just break up with me."

* * *

Shougo freed himself from Naoto's arms, hearing the doorbell. He walked to the door and looked through the peephole. He opened it confused and let Chisa inside.

"What happened?" Shougo was confused. "And why did you use the doorbell, you still have keys."

"My hands are shaking too much" replied Chisa, then he coughed. "And this overprotective idiot was right this time."

He walked to his room to calm down his asthma attack.

"He has a bag" noticed Naoto. "Shogo, they're..."

"Well, I think they did it" Shougo looked like one of his dogs just died.

"Gods, first you, now them" Yoshi hit his face with his hand and walked to the kitchen.

He had to drink some beer. Why his housemates have to have neverending love-related problems...?

* * *

"Monday, 28th November"

I'm laying on the sofa. I'm in Shougo's apartment again, I had three asthma attacks and my hands are shaking. I'm pretending again that I'm the manly man and nothing can hurt me. Fans know nothing, I'm not tweeting about my bad mood and other sad things.

Everything is fine, Sachi. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everythinwg is fwine. Everythinwg is fynee. Everuthlpg js frzladi. Wwydhi ihrd eoirsdfku...

"Tuesday, 29th November"

I woke up in the middle of night four times. I counted it. Everytime because of the same reason.

I can't breathe.

It's like you were my breath. My personal inhaler, which makes my bronchi finally work as they should.

I had to rewrite this entry. I barely could read the original one. It's like instead of grabbing an inhaler, you pick up a pen.

Idiot.

"Sunday, 4th December"

Today is Your birthday. I didn't send You even a shortest message. Stupid "Happy B-day!" on Twitter. Nothing.

We're not in the same band. We don't have to be friends. We don't have to try. We don't have to talk.

Shougo keeps scolding me. He says that I can't live like this. That I'm hurting myself too.

Yoshi just stares at me. Just stares, calls Meiko and talks behind the wall, knowing that I can hear everything. That she won't tell You anything, because it would make things worse.

If it can be even worse.

...

It can. I can't breathe again.

Asthma, please, not now.

"Monday, 5th December"

All these things I bought yesterday are empty. They're laying on my desk, they're documented in my phone, on my Twitter and probably on laptops of some fans, who download all photos we make.

Empty like me. Like my soul and my heart. It was my decision, but was it right? Maybe I shouldn't slam the door and leave.

Or maybe when you kissed me back then, in the middle of a starry night, I should've just pushed you away?

Or maybe I just... Yeah. I shouldn't get so close to You. Nor You or Shougo, who doesn't know that I'm home. I'm quiet, quiet like a small mouse. I'm laying in my futon, I'm listening to music playing from my headphones and I didn't switch the light on. I even locked the door. Nobody knows that I'm here. It's dark, I almost don't see, what I'm writing.

Besides, if Shougo knew that I'm home, he wouldn't be so noisy...

Naoto has to be a fricking good lover.

"Tuesday, 13th December"

I went with Yoshi and Meiko to the coffee shop. I ate vanilla cake and drank cocoa. It's winter, isn't it?

But it tasted like paper. Casual, grey paper. Dry, dry like my soul and my skin, which dried out because of weather. My soul is dry because of something else, my soul is dry, because I don't have any tears left. But I'm a man, I can't cry, men can't cry, we can't have emotions. We can't have traumatic experiences, because men aren't bullied, abused, raped, we're strong and what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. There is semen in our veins, not blood. Right?

We can't miss our younger sister, nor some cousin, who died a long time ago. We can't remember our beloved grandma's voice, when we go to sleep. We have to be strong, manly and eat meat, especially raw. Our hair has to be short, we have to buy clothes only in super manly shops, we can't wear colours, because we can like only black, white and all shades of grey. And if we don't have a job for men or if we're in the relationship with another man, we're not men anymore. We're women. Just like when we're talking about emotions. Well, we can't even talk, because women are the ones, who are blabbering non stop, and you have to shut up. You're a man, you can't talk, you can only nod and discuss about the last sport show you saw. Or sex.

And cocoa tasted like salt. Salty like tears, for fuck's sake.

"Thursday, 22nd December"

My throat hurts, I probably caught a cold. It's not a surprise, I had been wandering around the town for three hours. I’ve met a lot of people, I was passing them and they were passing me by and then everyone walked towards their own destination. We returned to our normal lives, more or less happy. My life is happy, I think.

Everything is fine, Sachi. It's just a break up, you broke up with a lot of women and one man before, this break up shouldn't be a problem for you at all! You're going to forget that you loved him, you're going to forget, how he used to whisper into your ear, calming you down, when you had nightmares, how he took a knife away from you, even if it's just a metaphor. You weren't holding it in reality, but you wanted to, because at this one short moment you got back to the past, when you were sixteen-years old idiot. How he used to take care of you, when you were sick, how he used to kiss your lips and how he used to take you to the land of lust, when you had sex during such December evenings just like this one, during a healstorm.

You're going to forget. You forgot about these women, you can't forget about Tsukasa though, because he doesn't let you. You're friends with him, even if he still loves you. But you're not sure and that's why you dumped him. You dumped him, because you didn't know when his jokes were becoming serious declarations.

And you're going to forget about Ishizuka Hiroki. You're going to forget, because you don't pick up his phonecalls and you don't read messages from him. You're going to forget, because you have to throw him away from your heart. You'll forget. Someday. For fuck's sake...

"Sathurday, 31st December"

New Year's Eve. We have a live gig in few days. My hands are shaking, because it won't be you again. I won't see you, when I turn to the bassist.

I shouldn't care about it.

I can hear my Mum cooking in the kitchen. I can smell gingerbreads she always bakes on the New Year's Eve. Dad is watching his favourite TV show about motorbikes. Hotaka and Bunko aren't here, because Bunko doesn't feel well. She'll give birth soon. And I'm sitting in my old room, I'm looking at my turtle and wonder, what she would say, if she could talk. She would probably tell my parents about my sex life, about my suicidal thoughts from the past and about the fact that I was crying with my face covered with a pillow, because I broke up with you a month ago. And we're both men. I would probably sleep on a train station, because I don't think there is a chance to catch amy train on a New Year's Eve.

I'm going to help my Mum with making a second batch of gingerbreads. And then I'm going to cover them with frosting. Maybe I will forget that I'm a dishonour for Kurihara family, because I can't get over a break up like some stupid teenage girl.

"Sunday, 1st January"

Happy New Year, Sachi. Maybe you should buy this new figurine you saw on Ebay? Buy it, buy it. You'll put it on the shelf and then you can stare at it all day, all night.

Mum asked me, why I'm sad. Is it so obvious. I don't want to hurt her. She probably already remembered this day, when she found me crying in the kitchen, when tears were streaming down my cheeks and when I couldn't calm down even, when she hugged me. She probably tried, I'm sure of it, not looking at the knife laying under the wall, she tried to not to think about how her son pulled it out from the drawer and chickened out at the last moment, she tried not to think, what would happen, if he didn't. She wouldn't sit on the cold floor, letting her almost adult son cry like some small child, she wouldn't be hugging him, she wouldn't be whispering to him that she'll help him, that everything will be okay, whatever happened.

And even if Mum didn't remember this day right now, I did. I hugged her and told her that everything is okay. That I'm just tired and that I have a lot of work. She patted my head and said that this girl isn't worth it for sure.

Yeah, you're right, Mum. She isn't. A girl.

"Sunday, 23rd January"

We came back from tour. I'm exhausted, sleepy and I'm tired of Naoto. I mean, I like him, I like Shougo, for Izanami's sake... Reika almost died from laughing, when we had to save them from trouble. Two men in their thirties locked themselves in the broom storage, because they were horny. It reminded me lof when Tsukasa suggested a simillar idea, but I was stubborn and talked him out of it. By the way, I wonder why the idea of being uke with me is so scary...

Women don't whine. You don't either...

"Wednesday, 26th January"

I've slept for three days with some breaks. I think that Meiko squeaks sweetly and Yoshi isn't very observant. I have the light on, but I don't think he noticed that I was here, behind the wall. Good thing I have music on my phone and headphones.

Maybe tomorrow I'll go for a cake with them too? I want cocoa.

I just need to buy gloves, because something happened to every pair i owned. Either I lost it or they have holes. And I gave some to Meiko, because she really liked the material they were made of. Oddly enough, they fit her hands. Maybe mine are really that tiny?

"Thursday, 2nd February"

I don't know, how to start. Maybe from the end? If I start from the end, I'm going to say that Naoto slapped my face. It hurt. It felt like hot needles were piercing my cheek, like it was burning and like it was forming into a shape of his hand. Hand, not fist, Naoto wanted to stop me from cursing everyone around me, not sending me to the hospital.

I started from the end, so maybe I should return to the beginning. I snapped at poor Shougo, I was screaming about everything, which bothered me and told him that I should have never meet both of you. That DIV shouldn’t ever exist, that this band is the worst thing that happened to me and that I'm fed up with singing songs, which don't mean anything to me anymore. Shougo was furious, but he tried to be calm. Until I started insulting Meiko only because she's Your sister. And a week before I was eating cake with her and she, a sweet young woman in blue dress, has never done anything to me. Never.

And, to be honest, I deserve this hangover. This moral hangover too. Where are my painkillers? I'm going to be sick. Again.

"Friday, 24th February"

I went to the coffee shop with Meiko. Alone. I tried to take her there a few times, but she refused everytime. I wasn't surprised. I acted like an asshole, alcohol talked through me and Takeshi shouldn't let me drink so much.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't blame Takeshi, he just wanted to be a good friend. He wanted to cheer me up, grab my hand and pull me from this abyss - the well without a bottom, where I fell and I can't stop falling. I'm just deeper and deeper, there's less and less light, but I'm forgetting, I'm trying to forget, forget about kisses, promises, rough hands on my body, about all orgasms and rythm in which Your heart was beating, when I used to listen to it, laying with my head on your chest...

I was supposed to write about Meiko. So I could see sadness in her black eyes, I could see that she was eating her cake like she wasn't sure, if she should be here. She couldn't see me, for her the world is black. It's the only colour she knows. She's floating in black water, in liquid darkness, which embraces her and prevents her from touching the light.

She spoke finally. She told me that you still love me and that we have to get back together, because it's nonsense. That we're suffering like someone, who got too small dose of painkillers and we're wasting too much time. That it's some big, unfunny joke for her and she wants everything to go bact to like it was before. She was always treating me as Sachi, not Chisa. She didn't call me "Chisa" even once.

But it won't be like before, Meiko. It won't be until your dear brother learns something.

And until my fragile, weak and stupid heart won't admit that you're right...

"Wednesday, 15th March"

Yesterday I played bass for the first time since years. Reika thinks that I did it well. Rui and Haku too. But I think that they're wrong. Because when I was playing, I saw Your face.

I'm not doing well. And I won't.

"Sathurday, 18th March"

I can't find my inhaler. I don't even know, how it's possible that I can write without a problem.

"Sunday, 19th March"

I don't want to see Shougo so frightened anymore, like yesterday. I don't want to hear my breathing, when it sounds like this.

I'm tired. I'm tired so much that I want to do stupid things. Or sleep all day. Or eternity.

"Tuesday, 21th March"

I've been laying on the grass for two hours and staring at the sky. People were glaring at me, some of them asked, if I'm okay and they walked away confused, when I confirmed. It was beautiful weather this day and I couldn't wash away my emotions with rain.

Why the sky doesn't want to cry? I need it. I need tears, but mine are dried up. Again.

I took my cellphone with me just because I wanted to decline calls. I picked up a phone only, when my Mum called me. It was a nice talk. She told me about neighbours' cat, who gave birth to four sweet kittens. One is crazy, it's always running around the yard and bringing mice. Second one is always scared and a one third is living in its own world and it's no problem to catch it. It's also clingy and Mum is thinking about adopt it. The last one is grumpy and is always walking its own way, other three are playing together.

When I was talking with Mum, the Grumpy and the Crazy started fighting, which ended with the Clumsy one being hurt too, because it wanted to help. Only the Scaried one didn't get hurt.

"Thursday, 30th March"

It's been raining since morning. And I have enough. I want to leave home and go to You even by feet. I want to laugh with You, talk with You, do stupid things with you. Hug You and think about everything and nothign and feel Your hand on my head.

Hiroki, Your sister is right. It's an unfunny joke. Let's return the past to the world.

* * *

Insomnia. Tiredness. Hate for the world. Silence. This This boundless dead silence that seems to have no end.

"It's normal" they say, when I wander between furnitures, not even turning on the light.

Why I should turn on the light, if I feel as if I've lost a light bulb, candle and even a lighter?

Although I still have a lighter. I mess it up in my hand, playing with it and wondering, if any of the promises I make to people make sense.

I promised you our relationship wouldn't be affected by the disband of the band. So what do I get from it? What do I get from it, I'm asking?

Nothing. The promise crumbled to dust. Everything is gone. You disappeared. From my life? I think so. Forever? Probably not...

I kick the chair as if it was guilty. Poor piece of furniture, it didn't do anything wrong and it still is taking my anger.

I sit on the windowsill and look at this cloudy world, plunged in gray. It's raining, large drops fall on the iron windowsill and splash, creating new ones.

Like disbanded bands, right?

I bang my head on the glass and stay there. My ears ring for a moment, and I feel like I hear the doorbell.

The glass is cold. Coffee on the table too. The room is dark. Meiko would say that now I finally know, what I always wanted to understand. What is it like to be her.

The bell rang again. So it's not me hitting the glass a little too hard. Doesn't matter. Let it ring.

Silence again. Maybe it was the postman? At most, I will find a delivery note in the mailbox, it's not a big problem.

I open my eyes. It seems to me that I can see your silhouette in the pouring rain. You're staring straight at my window, watching me closely as if you are waiting for something. The rain runs down your completely wet hair, seeps into your clothes, caresses your cheeks like I did until recently...

Wait a minute.

I straighten up and open my eyes.

You really stand like that pillar of salt in the rain, looking longingly at me.

Without umbrella! You're getting wet!

I jump off the windowsill and run to the door, stumbling over that unfortunate chair I kicked earlier. And for Izanami's sake, you had to do it to this poor furniture, Hiroki? You had to? You're stupid and that's it, underdeveloped bassist in his thirties with three cats.

Okay, maybe I can find a second shoe and not be overwhelmed by my thoughts.

I run down the stairs and open the door to the stairwell, clutching my umbrella in my hand. You aren't here? Have I had hallucinations? In fact, I've been sleeping maybe three hours a day lately...

I sigh, then decide that after I left the house, maybe I'll take my daily dose of fresh air and go to the store. Only after a while I realize that I didn't take my wallet.

And then I hear the dull creak of a swing from a nearby playground.

I turn that way and I see you again. You sit on a swing and swing, judging by your moving lips, to the beat of the melody you humming under your breath.

Forward, backward, forward, backward.

I walk calmly, as if I still don't believe I can see you and wonder what to say to you.

"Sachi" I say your name, even if I don't know, if I still have the oportunity to do this.

You stop so suddenly that you almost fall from the swing. You look at me, I look at you, you at me and it continues for a while, because we don't know, what to do next.

"You're getting wet" I say, eyeing you up and down. "You're soaked to the skin. You'll get sick and, on top of that, you will also get an attack."

"That's why I didn't take my umbrella" you say, getting up from the swing and approaching me. "I wanted to get sick. I wanted to have an attack. I wanted..."

To vanish? You wanted to say this, right?

"Hiroki..." you sigh.

You don't like talking. You prefer listening.

"I know. I'm sorry" I put hand on you wet hair.

You're gonna be sick. I know it.

"I'm sorry too" you say quietly. "Hiroki, you look like you haven't slept since a few days..."

"You too. Except I'm dry" I fold my umbrella and drop it to the ground. "But that can be changed."

"You'll get wet" you notice revealingly.

"I know" I smile softly and put my fingers through your hair. "But will you let me do something hopelessly trivial before your asthma and non-existed immunity show up?"

"Life isn't a romantic comedy, Hiroki."

"Indeed, it's far from comedy" I say and kiss your cold from the rain lips.

You're all cold. And you often compare me to fire. Are we opposites of eachother?

Me, an extrovert with a cup of coffee in my hand, running to another meeting with my friends.

You, an introvert with a cup of tea in your hands, sitting on the windowsill and looking out the window.

Okay, maybe you have friends too and today I sat on the windowsill for half an hour, but isn't it like those dots in the middle of the white and black parts of the Yin-Yang sign?

"Let's go back home" I say finally and grab your ice cold hand.

You're going to be sick tomorrow. I'll be listening to you whining and sobbing that you're poor and sad because of that.

Today, probably in half an hour, if not sooner, you'll have an asthma attack and I'll have to make you a cup of tea, when your breathing returns to normal.

But at least I can finally turn on the light in the room.

* * *

"Friday, 31th March"

It's raining. Again. It's been raining for two days almost constantly. I'm a little sick and I had an asthma attack yesterday, but I'm okay. I'm really okay.

It's okay, because You're with me and looking behind me as I write. It's okay, because Your rough hand is stroking my head. It's okay, because Nameko jumped on the bed and tries to stop me from writing, constantly nudging my hand.

We both learned something. You've learned that you shouldn't be so overprotective, I've learned that I have to ask for help sometimes. And repeating that everything is okay is a lie, when it isn't at all. When all in our hearts, minds and lives is chaos. When everything isn't as it should be.

But now it really is. Our neighbours can confirm this too, because they for sure heard us yesterday. Maybe we should give them some cookies tomorrow and apologise, shouldn't we?

The end