A few minutes to hell

Band: Moran

Pairing: Hitomi&Hanami (OC), Soan&Zill, mentioned Ivy&Vivi

Rating: 17+

Genre: AU, angst, slice of life

Warnings: major characters death, self-harm, suicide attempt, depression, blood, psychotropic drugs

Note: Hitomi misses old Soan, who was his friends' guardian angel, but after Zill's death he became just empty shell of himself.

Past - 2008-2014

Present - 2016/2017

I'm sitting at his bedside. He's been staring at the wall in front of him and doesn't speak at all. Like he's in some kind of trance.

Hanami often says that I shouldn't come here. That she's afraid that I'm going to be sick too. I explain to her every time that he's my friend and I have to do it for him. She's always nodding and sending her wishes to him. I'm promising her that I'll pass them to him, even if I don't know, if he's going to hear them. And that's what it looks like all the time.

"Nurses allowed me to bring you chocolate" I say, pulling it out from my bag.

He looks at me. He's numb. I don't know, if it's caused by his depression or by his medicine. His eyes don't reflect the light. Like he has no soul.

"Flavour?" he asks.

He talks sometimes. But I don't remember, when was the last time, when this once cheerful man said more than half of a sentence.

"Strawberry. Your favourite" I say, giving it to him. "Nurses really allowed me to give you this. They said you're behaving well recently and you even eat everything at dinner."

"Oh" he nods, unpacking the chocolate bar with trembling fingers. "Thanks."

"You talk a lot today" I smile, gently petting his head. "Do you want to meet with Hanami?"

He's silent for a moment, slowly eating a piece of chocolate. Black hair covers his face.

"Who?" he asks finally.

I sigh. He had some issues with his memory for a long time.

"Hanami. My girlfriend" I say every world loudly and slowly to make him understand she's important for me.

He couldn’t comprehend this for a long time.

"We got together before we even had a band. Do you remember?"

"No" he shakes his head.

I don't know, what that means. He doesn't remember or he doesn't want to talk about it?

"I'm sorry. Don't panic" I put my hand on his shoulder and he just mouths something under his breath. "Should I not to mention it? I mean, Moran?"

"Yes" he looks at me with tears in his eyes. "Don't."

"I'm sorry again" I sigh. "You know, talking with you is a little difficult. You have to forgive me."

"I forgive" he smiles fakely.

Or maybe not?

"Come here."

"What do you mean?" I frown.

"With Hanami" he says, chewing a piece of chocolate. "I like her."

"You don't know her" I point out. "I mean, you know her, but you can't remember her."

"But I like her" he says. "She loves you?"

"Yes."

"So I like her" he puts his hand on my head.

His sleeve slips from his arm, showing his scars.

"For loving you."

He really is talkative today.

"IThat’s nice" I'm smiling friendly, getting up. "Do you want me to greet someone?"

"Sizna" he replies and thinks for a long moment.

Did he forget again?

"Ivy and Vivi too?" I ask.

"Yes" he nodded energetically. "Forgive me. I forgot."

"Just about their nicknames or about them?"

"Nicknames" he takes another piece of chocolate. "Ivy and Vivi."

"Yes."

"Pretty" he says. "Hitomi?"

"What?"

"Do you have to go?"

"Unfortunatelly" I'm streching lazily.

This chair isn't too comfortable.

"Shame" he puts chocolate on the night stand and lays down on bed. "I'll be alone."

"Don't worry. Maybe Sizna, Ivy or Vivi will visit you" I say, brushing hair from his face. "Can you remember their nicknames? Maybe I should tell you their real names?"

"I'll write them down" he says and his beautiful, deep eyes are closing slowly. "They're pretty."

"Good night" I stroke his head and turn off a lamp on his night stand.

I stare at him for a while to be sure he fell asleep and I leave his room.

I close the door. The sign on it tells everyone that it's Wakugawa Tomofumi's room. Everyone knows him as Soan or Towa. For me he's the best friend I've ever had.

When I leave the hospital, my cellphone rings.

"Hello, Hanami" I say, getting into my car. "Did something happen?"

"How's Soan?" she answers with a question. "Did he say something today?"

"He wants you to visit him. He wants to meet you."

"For the fourth time?"

"Forgive him. He's like that because of his medicine" I start the engine of my car. "Will you visit him with me the next time?"

"I will. I can even make a nut flavor cake."

"His favourite" I'm surprised a little. "You still remember."

"Yes" I can see with my imagination that she's smiling right now. "I like him. Still. Even if he lives in his own world now."

"Perfectly said" I admit. "I have to hang up, butterfly. I'm in a car."

"Okay~! See you home, then" Hanami probably waves her hand, even if I can't see this.

"See you" I reply and turn on my car.

* * *

I remember, when Soan and Zill appeared at the rehearsal, holding hands. Zill looked embarrassed, but Soan tried to comfort him. Velo almost fell from a chair, when he saw them. And I clapped my hands like a little kid. They took their sweet time getting together. I wanted to help them already.

Then they told us that Zill was the first, who told Soan about his feelings. I didn't expect this from this shy, quiet bassist. But sometimes things are like this.

Soan and Zill were a perfect couple. They were comforting each other, falling asleep after the exhausing day, taking care of each other and barely even quarelling (only because Soan was overprotective and Zill was too reckless). I've never seen Soan so in love with someone and I've known him for almost ten years. It was sweet looking at them and their love. Even Hanami was a little jealous, when she met them. She was my childhood friend. We realised we have feelings for each other after Velo left the band.

Zill always has been sickly. Soan tried to do everything to take care of him, but Saburou's immune system was a big joke. But despite everything, Zill was always happy, cheerfull, smiling, hard-working and first to help. He never denied helping anyone and never missed an opportunity to meet with his friends. But he had one big con among pros.

He really was the most reckless person in the world.

"Zill doesn't answer his phone" said Sizna, calling me a little worried. "Do you know, what's going on with him? We were suppoused to work on new material, but he's really late."

"Shouldn't Soan know?" I asked, stirring with a spoon in a pot.

"Soan doesn't answer his phone too. He had some leader business today, so he's probably busy" explained Sizna. "Maybe he's driving or something."

"I'll try to call them, I promise" I said to our future guitarist.

He still wasn't officially introduced to our fans.

"Thanks, Hitomi. I'm going to write my parts. I hope that Zill calls me soon" Sizna sighed and hung up.

I thought for a moment. Zill, who neglects his duties and friends? Something was wrong.

"Something happened, Hitomi?" asked Hanami, walking into the kitchen.

She wiped her wet, red hair with a towel, which she hanged on a chair.

"Is there something troubling you?"

"Zill doesn't pick up his phone" I explained. "I have bad feelings."

"Do you want to go to him?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"If he's not home, it'll be in vain. I don't have keys to his flat. And whatever happened, he's an adult man" I replied. "I'll call Soan and Shia, anyway."

"Shia?"

"Zill's brother. He's a guitarist" I called Soan, but I only heard an auto message. "Sizna is right. Soan doesn't pick up his phone too."

"Maybe they're busy with each other?" Hanami made a joke, putting on her contact lenses.

They helped her with her poor sight, but they also changed the colour of her eyes into green. I loved them. I still like them.

"Soan has a lot of work today" I replied. "He's a workaholic. Even Zill can't stop him from doing everything during one day. Besides, they don't live together, so it's a low chance they're together right now."

"They don't?" Hanami was surprised. "But they're so in love!"

"I know, but Zill's family doesn't tolerate his preferences" I explained. "Even his brother gives nasty comments and he's a musician too. I've always thought that we, artists, have more open minds, but... Well, it's not a rule."

"Some people are hopeless cases" said Hanami, looking into the pan, when I tried to reach Shia. "What are you cooking?"

"Sour-sweet chicken" I replied.

"Hello?" I heard Shia's tired voice on the other side. "Hitomi? What do you want?"

"Your brother doesn't pick up his phone" I explained. "He didn't come to the studio and he was suppoused to record new songs with Sizna."

"My brother? This workaholic?" Shia was surprised. "I'm in studio right now and I can't leave, because our leader is going to cut my head off, besides Sabu's home is far away from here, but I'm going to call our parents and brother. Shigeru is in Tokyo, I think, so he can check on Sabu. Can't you go to his flat yourself?"

"I don't have keys and if something happened to him..."

"I see. Thanks the for info!" exclaimed Shia and hung up.

"Shia is a good brother, isn't he?" asked Hanami.

"And that's the only good thing about him" I smiled sadly and turned off the oven.

We wouldn't eat anything anyway.

* * *

"Should we visit him?" asked Hanami.

"If Shigeru is in Tokyo, it doesn't make sense. Zill lives on the other side of town. It would last longer than Shigeru's getting there" I explained.

My phone rang. Shia.

"Hello?"

"Shigeru is on his way. He said that he'll be in any minute there" announced Shia. "I'll tell you later, what's going on."

"Thanks, Shia."

"I should be the one thanking you" replied Shia and hung up.

And my phone called one more time. This time I knew that this conversation won't be easy.

"Hello, Soan. Are you okay?"

"Sizna called me. What's going on with Saburou?" asked Soan, really worried. "I tried to call him, but he doesn't pick up. Hitomi, what's going on?"

"Calm down. Shigeru is probably at his place already. We'll know everything soon" I said. "Do, what you have to do and come here. We'll wait for informations together."

"Yes. Of course" Soan nodded. "I have to go now. I'll be at your place in two, maybe three hours. If you learn something new, call me."

"Of course" I promised.

I didn't learn anything else. My phone was silent.

"Maybe nothing happened?" suggested Hanami. "And that's why they forgot to tell us?"

"Whatever happened or not, they should call us" I said. "I'm trying to be calm, but Soan probably already lost his mind."

I heard knocking to the door. I opened them. And then I saw Soan for the first time in such condition.

Trembling, panicked, not able to look at me or anything else.

"He's not home" he announced, walking inside and taking off his shoes. "He's not picking his phone, Hitomi. No one called me. And they stopped picking their phones just like Saburou. Even Shia."

Hanami frowned, when Soan pulled out a cigarette from the box, but I nudged her. She immediately understood that it wasn't the best time for scolding him.

"He'll be okay" I promised. "And Shia is on a rehearsal. He's busy."

"It probably ended a long time ago" replied Soan and inhaled some smoke.

He still didn't know anything, but he looked bad already. And he was so pale that someone could think that he's not an Asian.

"We should be optimistic" I said. "Nothing wrong happened yet."

"Come to the living room. I'll bring some sake" promised Hanami. "Or maybe you want wine? We have strawberry wine, I think."

"Okay" replied Soan, stubbing out his cigarette in Maa-kun's bowl. "I'll wash it."

"You don't have to" I smiled slightly and took it to the kitchen.

My heart was beating like crazy. I didn't want to show, how much worried I was about our friend, becuase Soan was in such condition that I didn't have to feel anything.

But I felt. And it hurt.

* * *

Shia called Soan at the evening. Soan listened to him and then he dropped his cellphone.

"Soan? Soan!" I shook him and he broke free and ran towards his shoes. "What's going on?!"

"Sabu is in a hospital!" replied Tomofumi, putting on his shoes, then he left my home, slamming the door behind him.

I froze, then I brushed off the first shock and picked up my friend's phone and put it to my ear.

"Shia?" I whispered. "How bad it is?"

It was the first time, when I heard Shia's voice sounding like this.

"Very bad, Hitomi" Aki, because it was his real name, was almost crying. "He's dying."

* * *

Hanami fell asleep with her head on my lap because of stress. Sizna promised us that he's going to take care of everything. He's a good friend.

I was stroking Maa-kun's head and staring at the clock standing on a cupboard. I looked at Soan's glass.

He didn't even touch his drink. Good, because he had to drive now.

Maa-kun jumped on his paws and ran to the door, when we heard a doorbell. Hanami woke up and looked at me with sleepy eyes. I sighed, walking towards the door.

I opened the door and saw Shigeru, holding trembling and sobbing Soan's shoulder.

"He was few minutes late" announced Shigeru with quiet, emotionless voice. "Saburou is dead."

And Wakugawa Tomofumi, one of the strongest and optimistic people I know, fainted and fell on the floor. We didn't even have time to catch him.

* * *

Saburou's funeral was a nightmare. Soan's soul was practically with him, in the afterlife. He didn't eat, sleep or drink. We had to force him to drink glass of water at least. Me and Sizna were supporting him, holding his shoulders.

Hanami didn't come. She went to her parents' place. She couldn't to watch Soan in such grief. Like everyone. Like me.

* * *

Tomofumi was sitting on the balcony with a cigarrette in one hand and glass of wine in another. He was drifting in the endless darkness. He was drowning. And I didn't know, how to help him. For all our friendship he was the one, who's known all answers about emotions. And now he felt too much of them. Too negative. And they were pulling him down.

"Tomofumi?" I sat beside him and took a glass from his hands.

He looked at me with those empty eyes I saw even today. But then they were blurred with alcohol, not medicine.

"You have to live. For him."

"But he's gone" replied Soan, inhaling cigarette smoke and closing his eyes.

I knew he tried not to cry again. He always tried to not show his weakness. He was a strong and serious man, after all. But was this important, if at this moment he was just la ost, little boy? Or at least in this exact moment?

* * *

Slowly we've been collecting pieces from our shattered souls and sticking them together. We've been living, without Zill. Shia took his brother's bunny home. Sizna gave us comfort we needed. Hanami was still living with her parents, but she was calling me everyday. I was visiting her every weekend. It was hard, but we were fine.

Or at least I thought we were.

"Soan?!" I screamed, when I caught him doing that for the first time.

Blood. A lot of blood. Scratched wrists. A lot of blood, really.

I was swearing in my mind, dragging him to the bathroom. I was swearing in my mind, looking in these blurry eyes. How many pills did he take? Did he even felt this pain, which he gave himself?

I was swearing under my breath, when I was wiping his wrists with sanitizer. I was swearing under my breath, when I was wrapping his arms with bandages. Hanami taught me, how to do it.

I swore loudly, when he asked me, why I'm doing this.

"Because you're my friend! And I think that you should go to therapist" I growled. "Soan, you can't do something like this. You can't, do you understand? You have to live for Saburou. For yourself. For us. For Moran. For fans. Please."

He sighed.

"I'm sorry, Hitomi. I won't do this again" he promised.

I hugged him.

"Don't scare me like this anymore" I asked him. "Never again, okay?"

"Okay."

"Will you go to the therapy?"

"I'll go."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes."

"I'll take you there."

"Okay."

"I'm glad you agree" I let him go. "Take a shower. You're dirty because of all that blood."

When he left the shower, I checked his wounds and changed the bandages, because they were wet (from water and, to be honest, from blood too). I led him to his room, made sure that he's sleeping and returned to my bedroom.

I closed the door and fell to my knees. What the fuck is he doing?!

* * *

Ivy and Vivi brought a lot of joy and positivity into our world. Soan lived alone, went to a therapist, who prescribed him antidepresants and everything was fine. Hanami often asked if everything was okay and I always nodded and said yes. What was suppoused to be wrong? People die, there are so many widows and widowers in the world and somehow they cope. They move on, start families with someone new. Sizna said the same. And Soan was happy. He was fooling around with Ivy, took care of me, when I was hospitalized because of polyps, scolding Sizna, when he spent too much time with his cat instead of work and going to a cafe with Vivi whenever the youngest member of our band wanted to. He was friends with everyone in our musical circle and spread rainbow sparkles around him. Everyone thought that the bad time was over and would not return. Sometimes I could still see the emptiness in his eyes from that day and my mind would summon images of blood dripping onto the carpet, but I knew everything was okay.

I swear everything was okay!

* * *

"Hi-san" Ivy walked to me after one of rehearsals. "Can we talk?"

"Of course, Ivy" I put the manga I was reading on the table and looked at the bassist curiously. "What happened?"

"I noticed something concerning, Hi-san" announced Ivy. "Really concerning."

"About Vivi?" I got worried. "Talk to him, Ivy. You're a couple, you should talk."

"I'm not talking about Vivi, Hi-san" denied Ivy. "So-san... I know he's from Okinawa and he's still not used to Tokyo's temperatures, but... Don't you think that it's too hot for long sleeves?"

I realised suddenly that he's right. It was summer, hot summer and Soan...

...Soan was wearing hoodies and jackets.

"Ivy..."

"Hitomi, I heard about his past. And sometimes during sunny days I can see... you know, what" Ivy gritted his teeth. "I don't know, how to talk about such things. But please, talk to him. If he's doing something like that..."

"He's not. For sure" I said firmly. "He probably got tanned and he's ashamed that scars are too visible."

"I hope so" said Ivy.

We heard knocking on the door.

"Are you going, Toshi?" asked Vivi, peeking into the practice room. "Sorry to interrupt you, but I'm a little hungry. But I can wait, if you're talking about something important."

"Not at all" I replied, silencing Ivy non-verbally.

I didn't want to worry Vivi.

"Go, Ivy. I promise I'll talk to Soan."

Ivy nodded and left, saying "goodbye" to me, before he closed the door. Vivi just waved his hand.

I looked at my shoes and pulled out a cellphone from my pocket.

"Hello?"

"Hanami? I think something is wrong with Soan. I have to visit him."

"I understand" my girlfriend's voice trembled. "But promise me I'll hear only good news!"

* * *

Doors where open, when I pushed them. It was strange, Soan always locks his door, even if he's home. His shoes were laying in the opposite corners of the hall. He's a neat freak, so it was really suspicious.

And it was definitely too queit. I almost couldn't breathe.

"Soan?!" I called him, looking around. "Soan, where are you?! Tomofumi?!"

I didn't get an answer. Quiet voice in my head told me that I should go to the bedroom. And I was right. But it doesn't change the fact that I almost fainted, when I opened the door.

Wakugawa Tomofumi, known as Soan now or as Towa before.

Happy, friendly, lovely, overprotective, caring, often panicking and sometimes arrogant man.

The one, who was laughing in the morning, when Ivy told him a joke about pugs.

The one, who bought swinging toy flower for Vivi, because he knew that our guitarist likes such cute things.

The one, who praised Sizna for half of an hour, just because he liked his new solo so much.

And the one, who comforted me after my quarrell with Hanami.

Was laying in a futon soaked in blood, clenching his fingers on the frame with Zill's photo.

I ran to him, screaming his name and grabbing his shoulders.

Veins.

He cut his veins.

And I could see older and newer scars on his limbs.

They looked like covered with spiderwebs.

"TOMOFUMI!"

* * *

They managed to save him. At least physically. But he never came back. Not mentally. And his body wasn't the same anymore.

He died in July 2010, with Zill.

* * *

I'm holding Hanami's hand, when we're walking into his room. He's sitting on the bed and he probably didn't even notice our presence.

"Soan?" I call him, but he doesn't react.

I hit my face with my hand. Right, he forgot. Stupid me!

"Tomofumi?" I start once again.

He looks at me.

"Oh, Hitomi" he smiles.

I think that his smile is even real this time.

"And Hanami."

"Hitomi, he remembers" says Hanami, surprised.

"I remember" Soan nods. "Sizna, Ivy and Vivi."

"Correct."

"Pretty" he takes the cake from Hanami. "Smells good."

"It's a nut cake. Your favourite" says Hanami.

"Strawberries?" he asks.

"I added them only to half of the cake, because I didn't know, if it's going to taste good" Hanami points on the strawberry-nut half of cake. "Something told me to do it."

"Thanks" he puts the basket on the night stand. "Will Saburou visit me too?"

It hadn't happened before. Did he really just forget about his death?

"Tomofumi..."

"So he won't" Soan looks at the window with bars behind it. "Is he waiting for me?"

"Yes" I nod. "I'm sure about it. He loves you, right?"

"Yeah, he loves me" he tries to reach the window with his scarred arm.

His scars illuminated in white light of lightbulbs.

He's quiet for a moment. And then, for the first time since years, he says more than short sentences and nods.

"I was too late to say goodbye. Just a few minutes. Do you think he'll forgive me? That Shia had to share his last words with me?" he asks, still looking at the window.

Does he see Zill in it? Maybe. I don't know.

"Of course. That's Saburou. He forgives everyone" I tell him.

Soan smiles and puts down his hand. Have I calmed him down? Maybe nurses are right. Maybe I really am the only person, who can reach him. Even his parents and brother can't.

Who knows? Maybe in some other universe we're even a couple?

I look at Hanami. I see tears in her eyes. She doesn't like this place. She doesn't like this "new" Soan.

But just like me, just like the whole world, she misses the old one, who was our guardian angel. But unfortunatelly evil fate cut his beautiful, big wings.

The end

Fires at Icy Midnight

Band: The Guzmania&Acme (ex.DIV) with Moran, heidi., Kalafina, Nightmare, Ganglion and Band-Maid in the background

Pairing: Chobi&Chisa with Ivy&Vivi in the background

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, fantasy, AU

Series: "Fires at Icy Midnight"

Warnings: magic, violence

Notka autorska: "Fairies, according to legends, are small, cute creatures, who live among the trees, drink nectar from flowers and fly on bumble-bees. When people think about fairies, the last thing they think of are strict rules about mixed offsprings and magic controled by them."

Fairies, according to legends, are small, cute creatures, who live among the trees, drink nectar from flowers and fly on bumble-bees. When people think about fairies, the last thing they think of are strict rules about mixed offsprings and magic controled by them.

There are four original magic elements - water, fire, earth and air. Fairies controling them have butterfly wings and wands with a rose and a diamond. Every element has its colour - water is navy, fire is red, earth is green and air is violet. Fairies have wings, wands and clothes in all of shades of them.

And then we have their mixed offsprings.

Every offspring has wings of a moth and wand with its glass counterpart. Water makes mist with fire, mud with earth and ice with air. Fire and earth are lava, fire and air are light, but earth and air make its opposite element - darkness. When all elements mix, a pixie is born - a fairy without wings, who uses offsprings' wand.

Offsprings aren't liked in society, like always. But light fairies are glorified and spoiled. Light magic is considered as sacred and that's why light fairies are the only offsprings with butterfly wings and rosie wands.

It was one problem with offsprings. Ice, lava and darkness fairies rarely control their powers, so everytime, when something happens, they're sent to the watch centre. It usually works out and after a year of living here, a fairy comes back to the good side of spreading shining dust around.

But sometimes there are fairies who are bullied by other over and over lose control constantly...

I'm an ice fairy. I've spent almost all my life in the watch centre. I can't control my powers for longer than a week. And Ryu, the darkness fairy, is the main reason for that. He loves torturing me.

I jumped from one branch to another and sat down on a leaf. I saw other villagers behind a fence, spending happily their time in park. I was surprised, when I noticed that a representative of almost every element in our small community was there.

Siblings - Chobi and Meiko from the fire clan and Kiri from the air clan. By the way, these two clans were replacing each other on the throne all the time.

Another siblings - Jin and Ivy from the earth clan.

And finally Saiki from the water clan.

There were some mixed offsprings too. The light fairy Hikaru, the mist fairy Akane, the mud fairy Yoshihiko... Oh, and even the lava fairy Vivi and the pixie Ni~ya.

And me, the ice fairy Chisa, hiding behind a fence and watching longingly those, who are free. Just like some butterfly dreaming about flying.

* * *

I left the Watch Centre, folding and unfolding a belt attached to my bag. I could leave, but for how long? Three days? Three hours? I'm going to return there and watch the world through the fence again.

I don't know life outside the Watch Centre. I don't know life in peace. I don't know, how it is to be free.

Suddenly something fell to my feet. I looked at this.

"Chestnut?" I was surprised, picking up the chestnut.

It was immediately covered in frost.

I dropped it. I have to calm down. I can't lose control again. I left the Watch Centre only about three minutes ago!

"Hey~!" I heard and I looked up.

Oh, right. Chobi from the fire clan. He's nice to everyone and probably likes everyone too. Even if he doesn't know them.

Like me.

"Hi" I replied and I felt that the strap of my bag is freezing.

"Oh, my chestnut" Chobi picked it up, but it slipped out of his hands and fell on his foot. "Ouch...

"I'm sorry" I said. "I think I froze your chestnut..."

"No, you just frosted it a little" Chobi smiled brightly and burned the chestnut, which caused it to thaw. "What's your name? I'm Chobi."

"Chisa" I replied.

"Are you going home from the Watch Centre?" asked Chobi, following me.

Go away. Talking to me won't end well for you.

"Yeah" I nodded and he was still following me with his chestnut.

"I rarely see you" Chobi was still talking. "You know, I know everyone. Hotaka is your brother, right? I often see him, when he's going mushroom picking. But he goes there earlier. He's nice, it's a good boy. Is an age gap between you big?"

"Three years" I replied.

"I have a sister, Meiko. But she's three years younger, not older" Chobi smiled slightly.

Oh, so you think that Hotaka is older? Not first time in my life.

"We're going fishing with Ivy. Do you want to go with us?" asked Chobi and I just sighed.

"I can go" I said quietly and followed Chobi to the riverside.

* * *

"Gotch ya!" Ivy lunged at the zander, which immediately knocked it off its back. "Or not. I'll catch another one!"

"Wouldn't it be easier for you with vines?" asked Chobi, creating a bow and an arrow from the flames that pierced the fence.

The fish fell back into the water with a loud splash.

"I made a bet with Vivi that I can do it without it" replied Ivy, grabbing the perch by the tail and letting it drag him for a while.

I was sitting at the riverside and just looking at them. I didn't want to use my strengh or powers or to invest my emotions in this duel.

"Chisa, watch out!" called me Chobi suddenly and I looked up.

A large fish, probably a pike, jumped out of the water and flew straight towards me.

Shhuush. Icicles cut through the air and pierced the fish and nearby trees, cutting down flowers and cutting grass within a radius of several meters.

The fish fell with a thud right in front of my feet, its blood staining our clothes and the river water.

"Awesome" whispered Ivy, holding a bass, who tried to break free from the trap. "We're going to have a party tonight!"

"This pike is going to feed us for a good week" said Chobi, approaching the carcass. "We need to call a few more people, because we can't carry this huge fish on our own."

"I'm sorry, I got scared..." I mumbled under my breath.

"What? No, it's amazing!" exclaimed Chobi, patting my shoulder. "Good job, Chisa. Come with me, we need help. Ivy, kill this fish already, it's getting tired."

"Can't I make it my pet? I would feed it worms" said Ivy, making Chobi laugh.

"If you want it as a pet, I don't care, but I don't know, what would your parents say."

"Mum won't let me, fish are too slimy..."

"You answered your own question" Chobi grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a village. "And now watch these fish or some bear will eat them!"

Ivy nodded.

And I thought that if not Chobi's call, this fish would crash me...

* * *

I sat at the end of the table covered with dishes from the fish we had caught and listened to the happy conversations and watched the emerging romances.

I looked at Ryu, who had been watching me the whole time.

Despite his origins, he was never sent to a control center.

Never.

I felt the cutlery freeze. I thought about it immediately.

I can't let it happen. Calm down, Chisa.

"Are you okay?" asked my mum, looking at me in worry.

I nodded. She had such beautiful, navy wings. Dad had violet ones.

I sighed.

"I have to relax, I'll be fine" I announced, getting up from the table.

Hotaka looked at me, a little worried, but then I noticed that he started to eat my food, which I barely touched.

I leaned against a tree and the bark froze instantly. Chisa, for fuck's sake! Control yourself! This psychopath just looked at you!

"What happened, Chisa?" I heard next to my ear, which made me freeze grass around me. "Whoops?"

I looked at Ryu. He was petting frozen grass, breaking it.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"To get rid of you once again" explained Ryu calmly. "What are you looking at, Chisa? Are you are afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of you" I replied, although the crackling of the slowly freezing forest denied this. "I just don't like your company."

"That's rude of you to say that" said Ryu. "Very rude."

He grabbed my shoulder and pinned me to the tree. Frost covered his hand.

"You're very naughty, Chisa" Ryu chucked. "I have to tell autorities, what you're doing."

"Hey, leave him alone!" I heard Chobi's voice, who just ran to us, breaking grass on his way. "Let him go."

"Of course" Ryu took his hand off my shoulder. "I wanted to go anyway."

And he flew away, leaving us alone.

"Are you okay?" asked Chobi, walking to me. "Chisa?"

He grabbed my wrist.

"Don't touch me!" I jumped off him like he burned me, but his hand was covered in frost anyway. "I can't control my powers, I don't know, how to do it."

"It's normal, you're so young, kids..."

"I'm seventeen, Chobi."

He was silent for a moment.

"Seventeen?" repeated Chobi after a while. "You said that Hotaka..."

"That there is an age gap of three years between us. But I'm the older one" I corrected.

Chobi looked at me like I've just told him that we can't fly on swallows.

"Awesome" Chobi laughed. "So we haven't met for past 17 years?"

"Yeah."

"How?" asked Chobi. "How is that even possible?"

"You see? I told you, everything is frozen" Ryu returned with two employees from the watch centre.

"It was your fault, I saw that!" yelled Chobi.

"Children are too loyal to their friends" Ryu smiled maliciously and the watch centre guards grabbed my shoulders.

"I don't want to come back" I cried.

"You have to control your powers first. You won't have to then" replied one man.

"Hey, leave him alone! It's not his fault!" shouted Chobi, but no one listened to him.

And I felt that someting stung my shoulder and fainted...

* * *

I was laying on the bed, drawing in my sketchbook. I've survived outside of the Watch Centre just almost a day. I knew that it's going to be like this.

I heard knocking on the door.

"Come in" I said.

Vivi stood in the treshold, vissibly not pleased because of this situation.

"Hi" he said, closing the door behind him.

"Hey. Have you lost control too?" I was shocked.

Vivi has been in the watch centre once. A long time ago, when we were still children.

"Ivy got mad" started Vivi, sitting on the chair. "I mean, when they took you. Chobi told him, what Ryu has done. I was angry too and then I tried to stop Ivy from fighting with the watch centre's security, but I failed. They knocked Ivy out and I... I lost control, because I was worried about him."

"I see" I nodded, not stopping my drawing. "But you can lose control once a few years."

"You're right" Vivi smiled slightly. "But I'm glad that things turned out like this. Now I can ask you some questions."

"What questions?" I didn't understand, what he's talking about.

"Does Ryu always bring you here?" he asked and I nodded. "Since when?"

"Since I was four" I replied. "He hit my face with sand, when we were sitting in the sandbox. He loved guards taking me to the watch centre so much that I was outside for, I think..."

I thought for a moment.

"Don't tell me that you don't leave this place at all..." Vivi opened his eyes wide.

"Summing this up..." I took a piece of paper and a pen, then I counted days of freedom. "Twenty nine days."

"In one year?"

"Since I was sent there for the first time" I smiled sarcastically and put the paper away.

Vivi looked defeated.

"You're kidding me..."

"No" I shook my head. "Since thirteen years they're keep putting me here and, to be honest, I can control my powers less and less, because..."

"You're so scared that you're going to be sent here that you lose control again" Vivi finished my thoughts. "That's why Hotaka was here only once. It's not genes' fault, but this psycho's."

I nodded and then I heard knocking on the door.

"Come in."

"It's dinner time" announced Hikaru, who worked there. "Oh, Vivi. You're here. So I don't have to visit your room."

"We'll be here in one minute" said Vivi.

I walked to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"What I've just told is a secret, okay?" I looked at him firmly.

"But..."

"I don't want anyone to pity me" I explained. "Don't tell anyone. Please."

Vivi fell silent. I didn't know, how to interpret this...

* * *

Several days later I sat under the fence and started drawing again. Suddenly I felt that something stung me through the net. I turned around abruptly and saw Chobi.

By the way, the fence was now covered with frost...

"Oh, sorry..." Chobi stepped back from the fence. "You won't have problems because of this, will you?"

"Not here" I replied. "Why are you here?"

"Don't be mean, I came here for you" Chobi puffed his cheeks a little. "Vivi told us about your situation."

"I told him not to do it!"

"But he told us. And it’s good that he did" Chobi knelt next to fthe ence and sat down on his heels. "Chisa, you spent only twenty nine days free, since this psycho started bullyomg you!"

"And what are you going to do? No one believes me, everyone likes him" I sighed.

"I thought that I can at least show you, how it is" he said.

"What do you mean?"

"I can come here and talk to you" he explained. "They shouldn't forbid us to do it, right?"

"Until I lose control, it's fine" I replied.

Chobi smiled brightly.

* * *

Chobi and Ivy were meeting with us everyday. They've been giving us sweets, talking with us, telling jokes and playing games. The fence was the only thing, which prevented us from touching them. And I wanted to do it more and more. But I knew that if someone saw us, they would lock me in my room.

And then a whole year has passed. They let me and Vivi go the same day. Ivy and Chobi waited for us.

"Do you want to go to the riverside?" asked Ivy.

"Tomorrow. Today I want to spend time with my family" replied Vivi.

"Of course" Ivy embraced Vivi with his arm. "I'll walk you home, my lava girl."

"I'm not a girl, Ivy."

"But you're sweet."

"Ivy!"

I laughed and looked at Chobi. He was smiling like always.

"Should I walk you home?" he asked.

"If you want to..." I replied, feeling a little embarrassed.

Chobi led me to my home. I thanked him, we said our byes and I walked inside. I welcomed my family, we had a dinner, then we sat down in front of the fireplace, where we ate cake, which my mum baked specially for my return.

I went to my room. I used to be here so rarely that almost nothing changed since I was a kid. Besides my bed.

I finished a book I started reading in the watch centre already, I ate supper with my family, played some games with Hotaka and went to sleep.

It was nice to sleep in my own bed. But I knew that it was a matter of time until Ryu was going to take this from me again...

* * *

The next day we went to the riverside. Ivy pulled out a fishing rod and sat down with Vivi closer to the shore. I prefered not to touch the water.

"Something happened, Chisa?" asked Chobi, sitting next to me. "Don't you want join them?"

"I don't want to risk freezing the water" I explained.

"Don't panic" Chobi sighed. "When was the last time you had lost control?"

"Yesterday, when I was brushing my teeth" I replied, making Chobi blink. "I'm a hopeless case. I'm stressing out because of my reflection.in the mirror"

"I don't even know, what to say" said Chobi.

We were just sitting there and staring at flowing water. Suddenly we heard Ivy's happy voice.

"Yeah, I caught you, little fish!" he shouted, pulling fishing rod to himself. "Vivi, help me, this fish is stubborn as hell."

Vivi grabbed the fishing rod with Ivy, but this fish was too strong. Chobi ran to help them and then...

SHOOST.

Fish pulled everyone underwater. And pixies are the only fairies, who can swim, so...

"No!" I screamed, jumping on my feet.

Grass around me froze within a radius of about half a meter. I ran towards the river, freezing everything around, and ran into the river, but I didn't even get wet.

Surface was already covered with ice.

"Chobi! Vivi! Ivy!" I tried to find them, but I couldn't.

Only after a while I saw Chobi's red clothes. I fell to my knees and melted the ice there, then I pulled everyone out.

The river froze completely after this and that's why ice didn't break under us.

* * *

"It was terrifying" said Ivy, holding a cup of hot tea in his hands.

We were at Chobi's place and parents of all three fairies practically knelt on the floor in front of me after we explained, what happened.

Even if I still was a little nervous and the armchair I was sitting in was covered with frost...

"You saved our sons" Chobi's mum looked at me gratefully. "I don't know, how to even thank you."

"Well, your mind was cool in such a stressing situation" said Ivy's dad.

"Don't even start with your silly puns again" Vivi's mum threatened him with her finger.

"They’re funny to me" Vivi's dad shrugged.

"Men and their sense of humour..." mumbled Ivy's mum.

"Who wants cake?" Chobi's dad walked into the room with a shortcake he just made.

"I just hope you didn't get in trouble because of us" said Chobi, staring at his cup.

"Why are you so worried about this?" asked his mum.

"He didn't control, what he was doing" explained Vivi. "Well, he still can't control it..."

Everyone looked at the armchair I was sitting in.

"We won't say anything" promised Chobi's dad. "Nothing is going on, it's just frost. It'll melt."

"I could be worse, if Vivi were the one, who lost control" said Hotaka. "Then you wouldn’t be able to save this armchair."

"And floor" added Vivi's dad, making his wife nudge him in his ribs.

"Are you really going to keep this a secret?" asked my dad.

Everyone just nodded.

"Don't you dare even try backing out of it!" warned them my mum. "If you do, I'm going to flood this village!"

"Tsukiko" scolded her my dad.

After afternoon tea, we came back home. I went to sleep, hoping for a better future.

But like they say, hope is a mother of stupid people...

* * *

I was returning with Chobi from mushroom picking. Chobi proudly rolled a large porcino, I settled for a small chanterelle. And then none other than Ryu stood in our way.

"I heard about your heroic adventure yesterday, Chisa" he said calmly, walking towards us. "The whole village is praising you."

"Don't even walk closer" Chobi stood between me and him. "Get out. You can't stress him only because you like it!"

"Bullshit" Ryu grabbed his shirt and threw him away.

Confused Chobi fell on the ground and glared at Ryu, furious.

"Don't throw me like some bones for dogs!" he shouted, burning grass around him.

"Boring" said Ryu and in this moment everything faded to black.

"Chobi, get out from here!" I yelled and then I felt that Ryu punched my stomach.

I curled up and fell on the ground, then I grabbed Ryu's ankle.

"What the fuck are you doing, you ice freak?!" I heard his voice suddenly.

What have I done? I don't know, what. I didn't see anything.

...until the shadows disappeared.

Ryu was almost frozen. He stepped back and his frozen clothes were screeching, breaking like twigs. He couldn't move his left leg at all, after I grabbed it.

"You know what? On the other hand, it couldn't end better" Ryu smiled and ruffled his frosty hair.

"If you're going to call people from the watch centre..." Chobi wanted to punch him, but Ryu did it first.

"Then what? I can blame our little icicle for everything, so I can hurt you even more, you know?" Ryu laughed and flew away.

My powers didn't reach his wings.

"Chisa..." whispered Chobi, then he walked to me and hugged me. "He..."

"Step away!" I yelled, but Chobi didn't listen to me. "Being in my presence is dangerous! Ryu is going to kill you and blame me!"

"I don't care about it" said Chobi.

I pushed him away.

"You saw, what I had just done. Well, you see it all the time. I loose control everytime. I freeze furniture, chopsticks and plants, because I get scared over something trivial!"

"It's all because of him" said Chobi firmly. "It's his fault, not yours."

"I froze your armchair yesterday, because I was still stressed by the lake situation. I didn't notice you or Vivi making holes in floor and you were the ones, who almost died!"

"You're just sensitive, that's all."

"I'm a mixed offspring. You're a pure-blood."

"Vivi is an offspring too."

"But he can control himself! Do you really think I killed this fish, because I wanted to do it?!"

Chobi glared at me.

"You didn't?"

"No. I just wanted to protect myself. And I could've hurt you or Ivy. I didn't control it."

Chobi clenched his fists.

"I can't let him hurt you" I said. "I can't lose you."

"But if they lock you in the watch centre again, I’ll lose you" Chobi stomped his leg like some angry bunny. "And I don't want it!"

"Why?"

"I like you. Very much. Very, very much" explained Chobi. "And that's why I don't want you to return there. I want a normal life for you, not sitting behind the bars all the time."

"But I'm dangerous, why can't you understand that?!"

"Ryu is the dangerous one!"

"Really? So look around us and tell me that you feel safe."

Chobi looked around. He was staring at frozen plants and frosted trees. His porcino was completely frozen. My chanterelle too.

"You were scared. It's because of him."

"Were you scared too, Chobi?"

"Yes..."

"Exactly. And you're not burning forest right now" I sighed and moved away from Chobi, but he grabbed my hand.

"Chisa, there has to be something..."

"Don't touch me!"

Blood splashed over my face, arms, legs, clothes... I was looking in Chobi's wide open eyes. I was watching as he fell on the frozen ground, coughing with blood. He probably tried to understand, why icycles pierced him through and got stuck in a tree behind him. He also tried to call my name, but he couldn't do it and just stopped moving.

And I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even move, I just watched.

Until frightened guards from the Watch Centre didn't inject me with doubled sleeping potion.

* * *

I woke up in a cell...

Wait a minute.

I blinked. It really was a cell. I wasn't in the Watch Centre. I was in jail.

"Good afternoon" I heard someone's voice.

I got up. Guard was looking at me with an emotionless expression.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Light fairies revived your victim" he announced, opening the cell. "He's fine."

"Glad to hear it" I said, when the guard grabbed my shoulder. "Where are we going?"

"You're going to be executed. I want to watch" replied the guard, smiling maliciously.

He didn't even flinch, when I froze his hand.

So that's how I'm going to die.

I don't know, why, but I thought "Finally"...

* * *

I got tied to the trunk surrounded with dry twigs. Funny death for the ice fairy, right? As a total opposite to my powers.

Well, not exactly. They would have to pour lava on me.

"Chisa, the child of water and air, fairy of ice" I heard loud voice of the judge. "You're guilty of murdering Chobi, the child of fire, fairy of fire. Do you admit that you killed him with cold blood?"

I nodded. My mum fainted.

"Well, good night" said the judge and snapped his fingers at executor.

Executor walked to me, lit a flame on his finger and lit up the wood.

I closed my eyes. This is going to hurt. But at least I can finally rest, right?

"No!" I suddenly heard a voice.

I opened my eyes and through smoke I saw Chobi in his pajamas going towards me, pushing other people away.

I felt tears in my eyes, when flames reached my legs.

It hurt.

It hurt like hell.

I closed my eyes.

I was losing my mind.

And probably started crying.

But then fire burned out. I felt someone untying me, picking me up and jumping from the stake with me.

"Don't come closer or I'm going to burn this village to the ground" growled Chobi, still holding me in his arms.

"Chobi, my dear..." I heard his mum's voice. "He killed you..."

"Accidentally" Chobi interrupted her. "He lost control and it was my fault. Well, not only mine, but Ryu's too."

"Ryu?"

"Darkness fairy. He provokes him all the time, just to put him in this mental hospital again! He's obsessed with bullying him!"

"What do you have to say, Ryu?" the judge glared at him.

Ryu just shrugged.

"I just think this ice freak brainwashed him."

"That's not true!" shouted Hotaka. "I've seen you many times, scaring him!"

"I saw it too!" confirmed Saiki. "Akane was with me back then!"

"He's doing everything to make Chisa lose his control" added Akane.

"And we've always been telling you about it" reminded them Saiki.

"But no one listened to us!" shouted Ni~ya. "Because he was acting like this usually only among offsprings."

"You ignored even pure-bloods' words" added Yoshihiko.

"It's really hecking unfair, you know..." said Kiri quietly.

"I can confirm" Hikari nodded. "You have to start listenong to us."

"I understand that teenagers are just children in your eyes, but that doesn't mean that we can't see, what's going on" said Ni~ya.

Ryu just laughed.

"See? You can see? Good luck."

All we could see was darkness. Deep and frightening.

"That's why marriages between earth and air fairies scare me!" cried my dad. "Do you see, what's going on?!"

"Well, we're not, in fact" I heard Ivy's dad voice.

"Dad!" this time it was Ivy himself.

And then we heard a thud, short scream and another thud.

We could see again after that and we saw Meiko, who was leaning over Ryu, holding a torch in her hand.

"I hit him" she announced. "He was annoying and he didn't even notice that I'm blind."

Meanwhile Ryu was a little burned, unconscious and finally defenseless.

* * *

Light fairies healed me, so I could leave the hospital quickly. Ryu was executed, but I didn't ask, how. I really didn't care.

I went with my parents and Hotaka to the park. Today it was a Firefly Festival, so the whole village was there to observe it.

It was almost midnight. I was looking at one of the fireflies, sipping grape juice, when Hotaka nudged my cheek.

"Look" my brother pointed on Chobi, who was standing there with his friends and discussing about something with them happily.

I got up, gave my juice to Hotaka and walked towards Chobi. Ivy saw me first and patted Chobi's shoulder, pointing on me.

"Chisa" Chobi looked at the ground. "You're causing ear;y winter."

"Because of emotions" I started to walk towards him. "Why did you save me?"

"I've told you before. I like you. Very much" replied Chobi, but Vivi smacked his head. "Ouch! Alright, alright. I love you. Are  y o u  happy?"

Ivy and Vivi laughed under their breath.

"What?" I blinked.

"I fell in love with you. That's why I couldn't lose you" explained Chobi.

I walked to him, freezing everything around me.

"And you're not scared?"

"No. I have fire powers. I can melt this everytime" Chobi smiled radiantly.

"Good, because I can become too emotional right now" I said, putting my hands on his cheeks and kissing his lips.

But I think Chobi didn't care about his frosty hair, if he kissed me back.

Melting everything around us, because even pureblood fairies can't control their emotions in such situations.

The end

In the silence

Band: Moran

Pairing: Soan&Hitomi

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, slice of life, soft angst

Warnings: mentioned death, based on real life

Note: Hitomi hates silence, because it reminds him of that one event from his and Soan's past he still didn't get over it.

I hate silence. Whenever I sit in complete silence, my demons are speaking in my head. Bad memories are revived, feelings that weren't needed for a long time are renewed. There is fear of losing this reality in which I live.

I sigh, crumbling piece of paper in my hand with another bad lyrics. How am I ever going to focus in this choking, devouring silence, which is eating me inside? In this eternal loneliness that has been going on too long?

Okay, maybe you only went away for a week, but in a situation, where I'm neither in a mood nor good at all, I have a tendency to dramatize.

And I try to write again and nothing comes out of it. I go to the window, open it wide and lean my hands on the windowsill.

Cars buzzing, I can hear the voices of people downstairs, someone slammed the balcony door, someone was listening to songs from "Fullmetal Alchemist" at full volume. It's probably that hard-of-hearing teenager from the fourth floor.

I stand there, looking at the small, concrete world called the estate that surrounds me. Someone in the opposite block is watching a cartoon with the children, a lady is preparing her dinner, while licking her fingers. I laugh under my breath, when I see a couple on the third floor, who's desire was so big that they forgot to close the curtains before going to bed.

I wonder, how many times someone has watched us like that?

An insect is walking up the wall. I don't know what kind of creature it is, but it crawls up the wall as if his life depended on it.

Or maybe it depends? Who knows it out there.

And aren't we often like such insects? We go on without even knowing why. And why so fast? And why are we always in a hurry, why do we walk so rarely, looking at others and the whole environment?

We have such a beautiful, cloudless sky today. Well, maybe sometimes you can see a cloud, but such inconspicuous, white as snow.

The Mazda engine growled as someone pulled from the parking lot. I can hear dimly the noise of the fan that someone must have placed near the window. I think one floor below. The sound of the TV is breaking through the wall. Judging by the names, the neighbors are watching some Turkish soap opera.

Wait a minute. Does this mean the electricity is back?

I turn on the radio and it turns out that it is. It works. And then I realize, when was the last black out.

* * *

I don't know why, but then the sky was also cloudless and the electricity went down for a few hours.

It was well past midnight and I was waiting for any word from you. That you would at least call me and tell me what they told you. And if everything is alright?

I stood at the window, not knowing what to do. Not only was I unable to find a place for myself, there was no electricity either, so I sat in silence and darkness.

Someone knocked on the door. It was an electrician, who announced that the electricity should come back in a moment. I nodded my head as a sign that I understood and he went to knock on more apartments. I don't know, why he was doing this, since people were probably asleep already, so they wouldn't even notice the return of electricity.

Indeed, the light flickered the moment I heard the clang of the keys. No, not the sound of a lock being opened, just the chaotic hitting of keys and pendants together. Clank, clang. As if... As if your hands were trembling.

I opened the door. You stood there, trying to grab the matching key with trembling fingers and you didn't even notice that the apartment was already open.

"What happened?" I asked and you jumped out of fear.

You were staring at me with frightened, glassy eyes, which were even more like two deep wells than usual. You were standing and staring at me, trying to say anything, but you just parted your mouth and stayed that way.

I have never seen you in such state. Even when you had panicked, which you do often. Even when you were mad. You've been always the protective one, the serious one, the resourceful one, the down-to-earth one...

I didn't know how to react. I did not know, what to do.

"What's going on, Tomofumi?" I asked once again. "Tomofumi!"

The keys fell from your hand. You fell to your knees and hugged my legs.

Well, at least I got some reaction.

"Zill... Saburou..." you whispered, clutching your fingers tightly on my legs. "I arrived... A few minutes too late... I arrived a few minutes too late..."

I blinked. I was standing like that for a while, then I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Grab the keys" I said coldly.

You nodded and grabbed one of the key rings and I grabbed your shoulders and lifted you.

"Come."

We entered our flat. I locked the door, leaned on it and fell to the floor. Here, in our home, we could start crying.

Maybe because o this I hate the silence? Maybe because it reminds me of this day, when we lost our friend?

I hear the sound of a key turning in the lock. You enter the house and greet Maa-kun by patting his head.

"Hitomi?" you look at me, worried. "What happened? You look sad."

"There was no electricity" I explain.

You nod your head, undersanding well, why I act like this.

"I'll make some tea" you smile, brushing your fingers lightly on my arm as you walk past me towards the kitchen.

After all these years together we don't have to say everything. We understand each other practically without words.

The radio goes silent. I think they have more serious problems than I thought.

"I think we can't make tea at the moment!" I hear your laughing voice from the kitchen.

And I realize that with you even the silence isn't so scary. Especially, when you're killing it with your hopeful laugh.

The end

Bright light, bright love

Band: Moran

Pairing: Soan&Hitomi

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, fantasy, AU

Warnings: violence, supernatural elements

Note: The last part, written after years. Enjoy. ^^

I'm sitting on the balcony barrier and I'm staring at the silver moonlight. I turn back to you, when I feel your presence. I know your aura so well that even I don't know, how it's possible.

"What are you thinking about again?" you walk to the barrier and lean on it.

I can see a reflection of the moonlight in your eyes. They seems to be silver, not red as always. Well, do you remember, how it was before you changed me?

I was a conqueror. A mere conqueror, one of those not yet evolved and were drinking vampire blood so that they could smell them. We were distracted. Nobody gathered in the Shelter that simply didn't exist. Neither here nor this one. The problem, however, was why, in fact, I became this conqueror.

A vampire attacked me. After dark, I was returning home from the forest where I was picking mushrooms and wild fruit. Until now, I hadn't believed that these beings existed. And I didn't think anyone could break my arm.

I slumped down on the tree trunk when the vampire, dissatisfied with my rather great strength and stubbornness, threw me against it.

"So tasty, innocent blood and a so stubborn human" hissed the vampire.

I lost consciousness, but just before that, a black coat fluttering in the wind flashed before my eyes.

I woke up with an iron taste in my mouth. I was in a house I didn't recognize. The windows were boarded up. And I was lying in a four-poster bed. Dressed, with the arm in plaster and a bandage on the head and chest.

I got up and went to the window and with my good hand I slightly bent one of the boards. It was daytime, the sun was shining brightly. And I had no idea where I was.

The planks buckled under my weight as I walked down the long corridor, looking for the host of this house and possibly my savior at the same time. All the windows, not just those in the room where I woke up, were boarded up.

When I entered one of the rooms, I froze. But not at all out of fear.

You slept on the bed, in the torn sheets. I won't hide that it was you, because it doesn't make sense. So you slept there and I felt it. Cold. A strange, piercing cold that seemed to radiate from you. I didn't understand this feeling.

I was looking at you, completely ignoring the cold. Your brown hair scattered on the pillow and your shapely lips begged for a kiss. But I don't kiss strangers. You were so beautiful. You still are.

I wanted to back off, because I didn't want to wake you up, but then I heard a murmur behind my back. I turned to the bed, and it... was empty.

"Are you looking for me?" you asked and I jumped in fear.

You were still a little sleepy, but your blood-red eyes were already shining with a clear-headed glow.

"You are..."

"A vampire" you said calmly. "But I have a conscience. This vampire, who attacked you, didn't have it."

"Thank you for helping me" I bowed.

I had the feeling you were embarrassed.

"No problem" you said, smiling a little and I could see your white fangs. "You can stay here as long as you want... By the way, what's your name?"

"Wakugawa Tomofumi" I replied.

"Shinpei Hitomi. Nice to meet you" it was you who bowed down this time. "And... I'm sorry that you feel this coldness."

"Vampires cause coldness?" I asked.

"Yes, but humans don't feel it" you explained, lighting a candle on the nightstand. "Only conquerors can do it."

"I'm not a conqueror" I noticed.

"You're a conqueror now and it's my fault" you laughed. "You know, your aura was blinking. I thought that it went out and I gave you my blood, but... You started breathing. I'm sorry."

But I wasn't mad at you. And you know what? Killing these bad vampires was very funny and I could also protect the village. I haven't met you again, though. As a vampire. As a friend, who just doesn't like sun - yes.

However, when I was fighting with vampires and making new weapons, I didn't expect that I would die. And I died in such a stupid way, according to you. It was the impulse, nothing else. I saved you, even if I shouldn't.

"Tomofumi, why?" you asked, putting me on the ground. "My wounds would heal in a moment!"

"Unconditional... reflex..." I whispered, feeling the blood trickle down my cheek. "Forgive me..."

I would never have thought that you would drink the blood from my mouth and you would end my transformation begun eight years earlier by that.

And now that several hundred years have passed, your skin glistens in the pale moonlight as you lie beside me. Your aura is strong, glistening like blue gold.

You could say I'm your guardian angel, Hitomi. I made a promise to myself that I would protect you and I'm sticking to it. From always, forever, until the end.

The end