Since Forever

Band: Moran

Pairing: Soan&Hitomi

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: -

Note: "That was impossible with Hitomi being the "controling your thoughts" person. Once you love him, he won't leave you anymore."

 Soan was standing in front of the mirror and brushing his teeth. He was thinking about one thing - who is that man he sees? Well, he's the drummer of the band, which is currently on hiatus, because their guitarist left them.

He rinsed his mouth. They have to find a new guitarist, because they won't be able to play with Hitomi and Zill alone.

Zill was his friend, but thinking of Hitomi made him smile. Yes, the singer had something magnetizing about him that attracted a person almost immediately after getting to know him. And his two completely different sides were also surprising. One of them Hitomi showed on the stage - a seductive, moving with incredible grace, sexy man, who had all female fans at the beckoning of a slender finger. And then he would leave his harem kingdom and suddenly become a flustered, cute boy, but still trapped in the body of a grown, attractive man.

Tomofumi sighed and went into the shower. When did he begin to pay attention to Hitomi in a different way than a good friend from the band? He had known him for eight years, and had never before felt that strange warmth inside, when he looked at him. It probably only started when Velo announced that he was leaving. Hitomi was depressed at the time, because he thought he had finally formed a band that would have no trouble getting along with each other.

* * *

"Maybe it's a curse?" Hitomi stirred the rum tea with a teaspoon. "Maybe I shouldn't be the vocalist?"

"Don't you even talk like that" Soan shook his head and hugged Hitomi.

He felt the vocalist trembled as if with fear, but he didn't let go of him anyway.

"We'll be fine, Hitomi. We'll find someone to replace him. We just need time."

"Maybe you're right" Soan felt Hitomi hesitated between pushing him away or hugging him back. "You usually panic in these situations..."

"But you're too sad now" said Soan.

A moment later Hitomi hugged him back.

* * *

Yes, it was probably back then. He realized in this moment that this almost inaccessible man to him is more important to him than a friend.

He hesitated. He really wondered for a long time if he had really read his feelings correctly. But now, drying his hair with a white towel, he was sure of it. He loved him. He just didn't know, how to get to him. How to break through this barrier of Hitomi's shyness and indifference.

Tomofumi put on dark purple checkered pajamas and slipped under the covers. Maybe if he stops thinking about the vocalist every night, he will manage to fall asleep earlier. But that was impossible with Hitomi being the "controling your thoughts" person. Once you love him, he won't leave you anymore.

* * *

Soan was lying on the sofa in the rehearsal room, wondering if they would ever find a new guitarist. The one who just left couldn't even place his fingers well on the strings.

"It's not okay" mumbled Zill, mixing his muesli with a yoghurt. "It's so much not okay that it can't be more not okay."

"When you're losing your hope, I guess that all of us have to do it" said Soan.

Hitomi just sighed.

"Well, I have to go" he said, taking off his jacket from the hanger. "See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow!" Zill called after him, and Soan waved at him.

Hitomi smiled gently and left.

"Honestly, Soan" Zill started, munching on his muesli. "Are you going to tell him sometime?"

Soan froze. How did Zill figure it out?

"About what?" Tomofumi pretended to be confused.

"That you love him, silly boy" Saburou smiled friendly.

"But I don't know, if he has feelings for me" sighed a drummer.

Zill chuckled and threw out an empty box into the trash bin. Then he looked at a window and froze.

"Soan?"

"Yes?"

"Hitomi came by car or did he come on foot?"

"I do not know. Why do you want to know it?"

"Look" Zill pointed to the window.

Soan turned around. The snow that raged outside chilled the blood in his veins.

"But five minutes ago..."

"Five minutes ago it was gently snowing and raining, yes. But now the situation is different. And he's wearing a thin jacket" said Zill.

"Stay here, because I will still get sick, but with your poor health, it would end even worse" Soan pressed the keys to the room in his hand. "I'm gonna go find him."

"Just be careful!" Zill called after him as he ran out of the room.

Soan opened his umbrella and ran outside. The wind was blowing so hard that the umbrella wires twisted so violently as if they were about to break.

"He doesn't answer his phone. Great" Soan put his cellphone in his pocket. "If he didn't hide in some shop, I'm gonna kill him. And then revive of course."

The drummer searched around the label building, but didn't find Hitomi. Hoping that the vocalist had a car, he eventually managed to escape the snowstorm, got into his car and went home, because the wind was getting stronger and Soan was afraid that he would also get sick, if he didn't find himself in the warm apartment soon.

He got out of the car and struggled to the staircase. He opened the door and stepped into the elevator. When he came out of it, he saw something he didn't expect.

Hitomi was sitting on the doormat in front of his apartment, wet from melted snow.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Soan crouched down in front of the vocalist, who twitched at the sound of his voice.

"It was closer to your apartment than mine" he explained quietly. "One of your neighbors opened the door for me. Can I wait through his snowstorm at your place?"

"Of course. You're already too cold, you could get sick" Soan helped him up and opened the door.

He let Hitomi inside and closed the apartment.

"I'll make some hot tea and we'll warm up."

"I'm already warm..."

"What?" Soan turned around suddenly, and Hitomi just shook his head.

"Nothing, nothing, yes, tea, em... Do you remember how much I sweeten?"

"Two teaspoons, as far as I remember" replied Soan, and Hitomi smiled slightly.

"You know me so well" Hitomi hung up his jacket and took off his shoes, then sat on the couch, following Soan going o the kitchen with his gaze. "But you don't know everything about me anyway..."

A moment later Soan came back and sat next to him.

"The water is boiling. Maybe you want to change your clothes? Are you cold?" he asked, placing his hand on Hitomi's cheek. "You're a little cool. Hitomi?"

Hitomi froze for a moment and grabbed Soan's hand. He put it on the table and sighed.

"I'll be fine" he said as calmly as he could, though his heart was pounding maddened by that brief moment of being too close.

"But I insist you change your clothes" Soan grabbed his arm and led him to the bathroom. "Better take a hot shower. You're wet, and you're the vocalist. You'll get sick and won't be able to sing, and then we won't be able to look for that new guitarist. How are we supposed to make sure his playstyle sounds good in combination with your voice, if you can't get it out of you? I'm going to bring you some sweats and I don't care if they're too short, I can look for long socks, but try to catch a cold and I think I'll kill you and then revive you and then take you to the hospital so they can treat you and get you back on your feet. Do you understand?"

Hitomi nodded and waited for Soan to bring him warm and dry clothes. Tomofumi put them in his hands, then pushed him into the bathroom.

"Like a child" sighed Soan. "I'll go and make some tea. How he ever lived so many years without care, this boy needs someone who will tell him what to do in life, otherwise he will get lost."

Tomofumi waited while the tea was brewing, then carried it to the room. Hitomi returned a moment later and stood in front of Soan.

"I took a bath, changed clothes and dried my hair" he said. "Satisfied or should I do anything else to stop your panicking?"

"Stay the night?" said Soan.

Hitomi jumped back.

"Why?"

"Did you see what's going on outside?" Soan pointed at the window. "It's even worse than an hour ago. And I doubt it will change any time soon. I'll make you a couch and you can sleep here. No questions"

"But..."

"I said, no questions" Soan pulled Hitomi's hand and sat him down beside him. "Now have your tea."

"Sometimes I'm afraid of you..." muttered Hitomi, taking the tea in his hands. "I wouldn't like to get on your nerves someday."

"You don't have to be afraid of me." Soan put his arm around him.

Hitomi twitched, almost spilling his tea.

"Friends have to take care of each other, right?"

"Yes, you're right" Hitomi smiled sluggishly. "Soan?"

"Yes?"

"Maybe..." Hitomi froze for a moment, then sighed heavily. "Nevermind. Let's watch a movie."

"Good idea" Soan sipped his tea and got up to get his film binder. "Comedy, horror, drama, or some action?"

"Could be a horror movie. But a good one, not just some bloodshed" said Hitomi.

"Okay, Zill gave me something recently, let's see what it is" Soan smiled slightly as he tossed the CD into the DVD.

* * *

Soan wrapped the covers tightly around him. It was cold and he woke up every now and then, because what he discovered was just a little bit, he was freezing. Hitomi was asleep on the couch in the living room. Actually, Tomofumi would rather bring him here and hug him, but it was just a silly wish...

"Soan?" the drummer jumped on the bed, almost falling from it.

He turned around and saw Hitomi, covered with a quilt and holding a pillow in his hand.

"Can I sleep here?"

"What?" Soan blinked.

What happened? Does he have magical powers? Is he a fairy or what?

"I can't sleep" Hitomi sighed. "I like horrors, but now I have a feeling that this psycho girl will kill me in my sleep..."

"Are you afraid?" Soan was confused.

Hitomi nodded.

"Come here. I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks" Hitomi laid down next to Tomofumi. "Soan?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I hug you?" asked Hitomi, completely embarrassed, but still not losing the confidence in his eyes.

"You can hug me, I don't mind" muttered Soan, then felt a pleasant warmth as Hitomi cuddled up to him. "Good night."

"Good night" whispered Hitomi, tightening fingers on his shirt.

"I won't freeze" thought Soan, closing his eyes.

* * *

Zill was sitting on the table in the rehearsal room, when Soan and Hitomi walked in.

"Hello, Zill" said Soan.

Hitomi smiled to him.

"Hi" the bassist jumped from the table at looked at them. "And what happened? You found him yesterday?"

"Yes, I found him. On my doormat" replied Soan.

"You went to his place?" asked Zill, looking at Hitomi.

Hitomi felt embarrassed and looked somewhere else.

"And what happened next?"

"I took care of this lost child" Soan smiled fondly.

"The snowstorm lasted all night. Were you in your home at all or this panicrant didn't let you go?" Zill laughed.

"He didn't let me go" Hitomi sat down on the chair. "We watched a movie and had a good time. However, this girl was terrible."

"Hah, so you finally watched a movie from me, Soan?" asked Zill, laughing. "But wait a minute, he slept at your place?"

"Yup."

"And what?"

"What?"

"I honestly doubt you guys slept separately" said Zill. "When I watched it, back then we slept in four in one bed, we were so afraid."

"Seriously?" Hitomi was surprised.

"Yes. Takepi was snoring, Ao was talking in his sleep, and Ryohei was kicking me every now and then, but at least I wasn't afraid that this chick would eat me" Zill shuddered slightly as he poured water into his glass. "But maybe you have stronger nerves."

"Soan does, I don't" replied Hitomi.

Zill froze with water in his mouth.

"He got into my bed" laughed Soan. "With a "Please, help me" face."

"Soan!"

Zill choked on water.

"And what?"

"Something should have happened?" Soan was confused.

"Really? Nothing?"

"But what?"

"Ugh, you reached my limit!" screamed Zill, putting his glass of water on the table, then he walked to Soan and pushed him.

Tomofumi fell on Hitomi and they fell on the floor together with a chair.

"Tell him finally that you love him. Hitomi is in love with you since the moment he saw you! I don't know, how many times he tried to confess his feelings, but I've been a witness twice and Velo, Lay, Mizuha and Shige can confirm my words! Do something or I'm gonna go insane!"

Soan looked at Hitomi, completely confused, flustered, lying beneath him and breathing strangely hard at that moment.

"Do you love me?" asked Soan, remembering every situation, when Hitomi tried to tell him something, but then he said "Nevermind" everytime. "Since when?"

"Since forever" Hitomi closed his eyes, then he felt Soan's lips on his own.

He hugged him and sat up, still kissing him, wanting to cry with happiness.

"Finally!" Zill exclaimed, putting his hands up.

Soan moved away from Hitomi, still sitting on his lap.

"Zill?"

"Alright, I'm out!" Zill took his things in a hurry. "The keys are on the windowsill. Bye!"

With that said, the bassist ran out of the rehearsal room coughing after catching a cold as usual.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier, silly?" asked Soan, trying to imagine a pain he would inflict if the vocalist managed to reveal his feelings the first time. "Or maybe it is good as it is."

"I tried yesterday. Twice" Hitomi finally replied. "Am I such a hopeless case that in my thirties I haven't been able to admit my feelings for eight years?"

"A frightening number" Soan kissed him softly. I love you, Hito-chan."

"I love you too, Tomofumi" whispered Hitomi, before hugging Soan. "I said it."

"Yes. You said it" Soan stroked his head."What are you doing?"

"Zill left us here, didn't he?"

"Has your other self woke up?"

"What >>other me<<?"

"The one that needs a harem."

"Tomofumi!"

"Alright, alright. And now I'll show you, how much I love you."

* * *

"At least you didn't have to talk about the scratches on the walls" Ivy commented Soan's story, as he was eating his pasta. "I would have pushed you too, I think."

"But seriously, Hitomi? Eight years?" Vivi looked at Hitomi in shock.

"You got into his bed and still didn't tell him?!" Sizna shook the vocalist. "Dude, what's wrong with you?!"

"Sizna, we'll talk when you fall in love" said Hitomi, taking Sizna's hands from his shoulders.

"It will be a while" said Ivy. "As long as there's such a thing as sugar, he has Monko-chan and her doorknob."

"Ivy!" Sizna was offended.

The rest of the band burst out laughing. The guitarist just shook his head. Yes, he definitely has to find someone.

The end