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The blog contains content about male-male and female-female relationships. If you don't like yaoi and yuri, hit the red cross and don't read, instead of throwing mud at me. Thank you for your attention.

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"Rain is soothing for the soul"

Band: Kra Pairing: Keiyu&Mai Rating: 14+ Genre: romance, comedy Warnings: - Note: Keiyu likes walking in the rain, but he'd lik...

Wednesday 29 March 2023

In the middle of night

Band: UNiTE.

Pairing: Lin&Sana, mentioned Hikaru (Kameleo)&Yui, Reika&Hikaru (D=OUT), Haku&Mio (one-sided)

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, comedy

Warnings: -

Note: "You would have to call me every night and wake me up to make me agree."

Based on true story.



Lin had a lot of friends. In fact, you could say that he was friends with everyone in the world of Japanese rock.


He also had a lot of female fans. He could go on a date with everyone, meet with them, sleep with them, whatever he liked.


And he also had a band that fell apart recently. Literally. Yukimi left, Haku was depressed, Mio didn't smile for five years or more. Only Yui was holding on somehow. But Lin loved his band and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.


It seemed like Imai Tomoaki had everything he needed. Friends, fame and a job he loved. What more could you want?


And here it gets complicated, because Lin just wanted more.


Someone to be precise.


Yoshida Sana, known as Yoshi from Eve, had been his friend for many, many years. In fact, Lin didn't remember, when he met Yoshi and their friendship reached the stage of calling themselves by short names, which, as you know, in Japan already means a really strong bond. And Lin wanted to deepen it even more.


The occasion had to explain to Sana that Lin cares more about him than he thinks had arisen. Yoshi was the drummer! And UNiTE. needed a drummer! A perfect plan that was born in Lin's mind was that the guitarist would bring his lover to the band. And then it will be easier for him to hook up with him and... Bullseye, we have a winner in a competition of the relationship of the year.


However, Lin's plan didn't foresee just one thing...


"No" he heard on the other side of the receiver. "That would be weird, Lin. I'm a fan of your band."


"But Sana..." Lin groaned.


His entire plan had just crashed to pieces like a car going off the road and crashing into a tree.


"You would have to call me every night and wake me up to make me agree" Sana laughed. "You know, some people say that it works. I'm really sorry, but I would really feel a little uncomfortable playing songs that I loop over on MP3 player every day."


"As you wish" Lin sighed. "Do you have time to meet?"


"Not yet. But I'll let you know, when I'll have a spare moment" replied Sana. "Bye bye."


And he hang up.


And that’s why Lin wanted to persuade Sana to join UNiTE.. At least they would have a chance to talk. Sana must have taken being Soan’s fanboy too seriously and decided to be as hard a workaholic as he is. He never had time for himself, let alone for his friends.


But Lin loved him and decided to fight. He just had to find a weapon.


He looked at his phone. And suddenly he got an idea. How about trying out what Sana just said to him and call the drummer until he finally agrees? Apparently, this method worked for the vocalist of one of the legendary bands on the Visual Kei scene. Maybe Lin will succeed this time as well.


Tomoaki smiled radiantly and went to the bathroom. If he's going to call Sana every night, he needs to get some sleep. He liked to sleep, and after twelve hours of sleeplessness, he could be a zombie without makeup, but for love he decided to sacrifice everything. Even his precious sleep time.


Clock showed a few minutes past three. Sana slept with a quilt up to the tip of his nose. Nothing could bring him out of his sleep.


At least until his phone rang.


Yoshi opened his eyes and glared at his cell phone. The calm melody he heard didn’t soothe him at all. He grabbed the phone and looked at the screen.


“Lin?” Sana picked his phone up. “Hello?”


“Join us” he heard.


“What?” the drummer rubbed his eyes. “Lin, I told you that…”


“Join us. You like our music, so you won’t have a problem with learning our songs. I tell you, you’re going to be rapturous!” Lin was babbling like crazy. “So?”


“Lin…” Yoshi yawned. “First, it’s middle of the night. Second, are you really using my silly ironic idea against me?”


“You know, I thought that if you'd join us, Haku wouldn’t be able to complain. And even if he would, I’ll punch his face so many times that he’s going to look like a pancake” said Lin. “Join us, Sana.”


“I have to think about it” Sana laid down on his back and looked at the ceiling.


“Don’t think, just join us!” Lin laughed. “Sana, Sana~!”


“Don’t sing or I won’t agree” Yoshi sighed. “Can we talk later?”


“Of course, no problem. Good night” said Lin and hung up.


Guitarist looked at his cell phone. There was hope for his plan again.


Several days and nights passed, but Lin still didn’t leave Sana alone. And drummer was getting really annoyed.


“Lin, stop calling me or I’ll snap and hurt you” he said pleadingly as the guitarist bothered him for the ninth consecutive night.


“But Sana! Join us and I’l let you sleep, I promise” said Lin, though he knew it was only half true.


After all, once they become a couple, Sana will surely have many sleepless nights. But at least because of a very pleasant reason.


“Let's meet at Sakana Club tomorrow and we'll talk” said Sana.


Lin blinked. Sana had time to meet him?


“Of course. When?” asked Lin, leaning against a big, orange pillow.


“5pm?”


“Okay” Lin agreed. “So good night. Sweet dreams.”


“Good night, Lin-chan” Sana hang up.


Lin smiled slightly and called another person.


“Hello?” he heard a voice of a way too awake in his opinion Mio. “What's the matter, Lin?”


“Why are you not sleeping?” Tomoaki was surprised.


"Haku got drunk again” explained Mio. “I had to get him home.”


“So he called you again?”


"Yes” confirmed Mio. “I just left his flat. What happened?”


“And when will you tell him you love him?”


“Lin!” Mio growled, then a guitarist heard the sound of a door slamming in the background. “Be interested in your love life, don’t stick your nose into my privacy.”


"Alright, alright, sorry” Lin sighed. “Mio, I can't be at the rehearsal tomorrow.”


“I'd call it off anyway. Haku will have a hangover and I won’t get enough sleep today” replied Mio.”Why won't you come?”


"I want to try to get Sana to become our new drummer” explained Lin.


“Sana?”


“Yoshi from Eve.”


“Oh, that friend of yours? But Lin, Haku won’t agree to this!”


“That's why I need a whole day. First I have to get Haku to accept the idea, and then... Pull Sana into the light force's side.”


“Do what you think is right” said Mio. “You have my leader's permission.”


“Thanks, Mio" Lin smiled brightly and hung up.


The first thing he had to do was get enough sleep.


Haku felt as if Godzilla attacked his home, grabbed him, chewed him up then spit him out, trampled him over and threw him under the truck, so the sound of the doorbell wasn't one of the most anticipated things by the bassist at that moment. He got up, holding his head, and opened the door to whoever was trying to reach him.


“Hi, Haku” Lin was smiling radiantly, as he used to do. “How are you?”


“Hangover. What do you want?” mumbled Haku.


His own voice sounded for him like a scream. let alone Lin's loud, giggling voice…


“Maybe we'll hire a new drummer?”


“And will you go away then?” Haku groaned, leaning against the door frame.


He wanted to kill Lin for pulling him out of his bed, so he would even agree to dance cancan naked, if only guitarist would leave him alone.


“Of course!” exclaimed Lin, making Haku cover his ears. “So what?”


“We can hire even talentless moron playing on pots and dumpster covers with spoons, just please speak quietly” Haku slumped down the wall.”


“Sorry” Lin handed him an aspirin leaf and water, which he pulled out of the bag. ”Thanks for the approval. Have a nice day. Oh, and Haku?”


“Yes?”


"Next time, at least put on your dressing-gown" Lin laughed shortly and ran down the stairs.


Haku closed the door with a frozen expression on his face, realizing that he wasn't far from dancing naked cancan…


………….


Sakana Club was still empty at this time of the day. Lin sat on the sofa at the corner table and waited.


“Oh, hey, Lin-kun” Lin looked up, hearing a familliar voice.


He saw Hikaru from D=OUT, his good friend.


“What are you doing here?”


“I’m waiting for someone” replied Lin. “How are you, Hika-chan?”


“I’m fine, thanks. Minoru went to order drinks. Can we sit with you or you want to be alone?”


“Do you have a gift of persuasion, Hika-chan?” asked Lin.


“Persuasion..." Hikaru thought for a moment. "I convinced Minoru that I had lost my memory to win his heart. Yes, I think I do. Why do you ask?”


“I have to persuade Sana to join UNiTE.” explained Lin. 


“Oh, really? Minoru, come here! Lin-kun needs our help” Hikaru summoned Reika with a hand gesture.


"Hi, Lin” Reika put the drinks on the table. “Should I bring anything else?


“You don't have to. I'll go when Sana comes” replied Lin, staring at the door.


And then, as if  they summoned him, Sana appeared at the threshold.


He pushed his hair out of his face, straightened his sweater and walked to the table with a  bright smile.


“Hey, Lin-chan. You didn’t tell me that Hikaru-san and Reika-san would be there as well” Sana sat beside Lin.


"We met each other by accident” explained Reika.


“What would you like to drink?” asked Lin.


Sana thought for a moment.


"Something with not much of alcohol, so you won't have to pick me up from under the table” he replied after a moment.


"Oh yeah, I forgot you have such a light head” Lin fluffed Sana’s hair and got up from the table.


He leaned over to Hikaru and whispered in his ear to throw Sana a few arguments in his absence.


When he came back, he put a glass of blue drink in front of Sana.


"It's the weakest they had” he said, looking at Sana's hesitant face.


"Well, I'll sip it all evening” said Yoshi, putting a straw in his glass. “Reika-san and Hikaru-san seem to know, why you brought me here. They started to persuade me to accept your offer.


“It just turned out like that” Hikaru shrugged.


"Lin, I don't mean to be rude, but shouldn't that be only our business?" Sana looked at the guitarist intently.


Tomoaki sighed.


“Sorry, I shouldn't get them involved.”


“Don't worry about it. I just don't like, when others make decisions for me” explained Sana. "But... Whatever they said, it wouldn't change my mind."


“No?” Lin looked down at the glass.


Warm colour of his orange drink didn’t match how thich the atmosphere had just come.


"No” repeated Sana.”I've already made up my mind. I accept your invitation.”


There was a moment of silence, during which only the music from the speakers and the breathing of all four could be heard.


“Really?!” Lin hugged Sana, making him confused. “You don’t even know, how happy I am!”


“Did you ask your band, by the way?” asked Sana, breaking free from Lin’s arms.


“Mio and Haku agreed.”


“What about Yui?”


“Yui?” Lin was confused. “Yui probably won't complain about this idea…”


“But you should tell me about this anyway, Rin-chan” heard Lin, feeling someone’s hands on his head.


Someone leaned over him.


“So you’re telling me that you want to invite this cute and sweet drummer into our band?”


“Yui” Lin sighed.


Sana looked a little embarrassed. Hikaru chuckled. Reika tried not to laugh, but it didn’t work.


“What? I like this place” Yui jumped over the backrest and landed next to Lin. “But don’t worry, I know about your plans from Mio. He told me, when he called me to announce that rehearsal was cancelled.”


“It wouldn't be a rehearsal anyway. Haku was in such a condition that when he opened the door for me, he didn't even notice that he was naked” replied Lin, to which Reika spilled his drink, Hikaru choked and Sana almost dropped his glass.


“What?” Yui, who was simply speechless, looked at Lin intently. “Did you see Haku... naked?”


“Yes.


“And what? Does he have anything to be proud of down there?” Reika laughed shortly, trying to tidy himself up.


“Minoru!” Hikaru gently slapped the back of his head.


“Report back to Mio. Overrate him a little, maybe he'll tell him, how he feels about him finally” said Yui.


"Yui-kun” Sana glared at him, which surprisingly silenced Yui immediately.


“So here you are!” they heard a loud voice behind them and the other Hikaru, Kameleo's vocalist and Yui's longtime partner, jumped on the backrest and slipped off of it straight onto his koi's lap. “Kai, don't leave your capybara alone, capybaras need a lot of love!”


And he loved a little embarrassed Yui.


“Is he drunk?” asked Reika.


“No, it’s the norm in his case, believe me” Lin looked at him, a little tired.


Reika just sighed and went to order another drink. He probably thought that two Hikarus is too much for him, when he’s sober.


Lin had to be pleased to say that when Sana joined UNiTE., he revived this band. Drummer decided that he would introduce himself with his real name from now on, which suited Lin very much, as he preferred Sana to be Sana rather than Yoshi. And now he’ll be able to call him that outside the private sphere as well.


However, there was something left for him to do, which he had been planning for a long time - picking up the cute and sweet drummer, as Yui called him. He had been doing well so far, but he had to do something to get Sana to run up to him byhimself. But what?


“Why love has to be so complicated?” Lin sighed, looking at Sana, who was talking with Haku.


They seemed to be getting along well. Good. Very good.


“Just tell him” Lin jumped, hearing Yui’s voice behind his back.


“Do you always have to sneak on people like this?!” Lin cried, making Yui laugh.


“Mio said he had a call from Visulog TV. We're going to be at a concert for their fourth anniversary. And you know what?” Yui leaned close to Lin. “There will be interviews. Two members from each team. And you know who volunteered? Soan.”


“From Moran?”


“Yes.”


“Mio! Come here for a moment!” called him Lin.


Mio sighed, got up from the sofa and walked to them.


“What’s going on, why are you screaming?” asked Mio.


“Who’s going to Visulog?”


“Me and Yui?”


“Call them and change one of you to Sana, before someone will steal Soan” Lin pressed the phone into his hand. “Go on!”


"Alright, alright, don't rush me like that” Mio looked at him a little surprised. “Hello? This is Shiina Mio from UNiTE....”


"Let it work, let it work” Lin ran to Sana. “Sana, Sana, I have a surprise for you. I got you something. I mean, Mio is calling them right now, but it’ll definitely work.”


“But what?” Sana blinked. “Lin-chan, what are you up to again?”


"Okay, you've got this interview” Mio threw Lin's cell phone back to him. “Sana, you’re going to the interview by Visulog TV. Lin's idea.”


“But why? I don't like interviews, I stress about them” Sana sighed.


“Sana, but you don't understand. In the same interview there'll be, wait for it... ”Lin put his arm around Sana and pointed his hand in front of him. “Soan.”


“What?” Sana looked at him in amazement. “B-but S-Soan? But this drummer? The one from Moran?”


"Yes, that's exactly him” Lin nodded.


"I don't think I understand” Haku scratched his head.


"By all gods, I have an interview with Soan!" Sana moved away from Lin, twisted him around his axis, then pulled him to him and…


They don't really know what he wanted to do, because he stumbled, dragged Lin with him, and they both landed on the floor.


"We're leaving” Yui pulled Haku and Mio by their hands out of the room.


"...I guess I still don't understand” said Haku, closing the door behind them.


Lin looked at the door, then at still very happy Sana.


“Are you okay?” he asked.


“I’m okay” replied Sana.


Lin got up and helped Sana to do the same.


“Lin-chan… I don’t know, how I should pay you back” said Sana. “Or maybe I know.”


Sana leaned and kissed Lin. Tomoaki froze for a moment. Shouldn't he be the one to kiss Sana? Oh, nevermind! He stopped thinking about nonsense, embraced Sana and kissed him back.


“I love you, Tomoaki” whispered Sana, hugging him. “I love you for all, not only because of this interview.”


“I love you too, Sana” Lin smiled radiantly. “I love you too.”


Lin's brilliant plan was one hundred percent successful. And it turned out that the sofa in the studio isn’t as uncomfortable as everyone thought.


The end

Wednesday 22 March 2023

Long and winding road

Band: UNiTE.

Pairing: Haku&Mio, mentioned Lin&Sana, Hikaru&Yui and Haku&Yukimi

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, hurt/comfort

Warnings: melancholy

Note: Haku is depressed after Yukimi's depart from both UNiTE. and his life.

Maybe Mio, who's in love with him since forever, would cheer him up?


When Yukimi announced that he's leaving the band because of his back pain problem, they weren't shocked at all. Haku often was carrying him in a bridal way from scene to the dressing-room and from dressing-room to the car, because sometimes Yukimi couldn't even walk.


And he left them, leaving a band without a drummer and Haku with hate in his eyes, glaring at every support musician, taking the place of his beloved.


However, nobody foresaw the day, where bassist would come to the rehearsal room, slam the door and throw himself on the couch with a sad, if not depressed, expression.


"Haku?" Lin walked to him and poked his arm. "What happened? Someone died?"


Haku didn't answer. He was still laying and staring at the wall for unknown reasons.


"Yukimi left" mumbled Haku.


"Yeah, a month ago" reminded him Yui.


"He left me. He said that he doesn't want to stop me from my dreams. And he just left" Haku sighed and sat up. "Can we start this rehearsal already?"


Mio looked at him in shock, just like Lin and Yui. Haku and Yukimi were the perfect couple,always having eachother's back and willing to sacrifice everything for each other. Nobody ever thought that something like this would ever happen.


"As you wish" Mio nodded and got up.


He was, in fact, the only person, who never approved of this relationship.


He wanted to be Yukimi…


* * *


Haku has had depression for months and they didn’t think that he’ll ever get over Yukimi. But of course, the bassist was a man, not some sobbing teenage girl. So he didn’t cry all the time, didn’t sleep with a teddy bear or watch some melodramatic movies, eating ice cream from a box.


He just stopped smiling and started to drink a lot of alcohol.


“I’m miserable” mumbled Haku, when Mio was helping him walk to the bassist’s home. “Right?”


“You’re not. Your smell is miserable, though” Mio opened the staircase’s door with his leg and led Haku to the lift.


He pressed a button with Haku's floor number and leaned against the wall.


“Mio?”


“What?”


“Have you ever had a broken heart?” asked Haku.


“Yes. Many times” replied Mio honestly.


His heart used to break every time, when Haku was kissing Yukimi, when Yukiya jumped into Hiroshi’s arms, when Mio caught them having sex in the dressing room…


To be honest, Ryosuke stopped counting, how many times his heart broke and how much duct tape he used to repair it.


Mio pulled out the keys from Haku’s pocket and opened the door. He took off his shoes, led him to the bedroom and put him on his bed.


“Should I help you change?” asked Mio.


Haku shook his head.


All you have to do is take off my clothes, except my underwear."


Mio sighed and with trembling fingers unbuttoned Haku’s shirt, took it off and threw it on the floor. He did the same with Hiroshi’s trousers and socks.


“I’ll take them to the bathroom” announced Mio, covering almost naked Haku with a quilt.


He didn’t turn on the lights, so a whole flat was dark. Mio was glad for that, because he blushed and nobody could see this.


When Mio returned to the bedroom, Haku had fallen asleep already. Ryosuke put aspirin and a glass of water on the nightstand. He was standing without moving for a moment and staring at the face of his sleeping friend.


And then he leaned over him and pecked his lips softly.


It was his payment for looking after Hiroshi. He’s been doing it everytime. And as usual, he just turned around and left the bassist's house, locking the door. He will give him his keys back tomorrow.


But this time something was different.


“What the hell?” Haku blinked.


He wasn’t sleeping and Mio’s gentle gesture sobered him instantly.


Was it just another Ryosuke’s quirk or maybe it meant something more?


* * *


When Sana joined the band, UNiTE. started to live again. Especially Lin, who very quickly got together with his old friend and made him not only his bandmate, but also his life partner.


Yui, who’s been in a happy relationship with Kameleo’s vocalist for years, congratulated them and glared at Mio.


Yui knew.


As always.


“Can you tell him already?” asked Yui, leaning against the windowsill, on which Mio had been sitting.


Haku and Lin had a cigarette break and Sana tried to set up one plate, but it kept tilting.


“Haku doesn’t love me” replied Mio shortly. “He loves Yukimi.”


“Yukimi left.”


“But he didn't leave his heart.”


Yui sighed.


“If you don’t try, you won’t know, if Haku’s heart is free” noticed vocalist.


“If I don’t try, I won’t get burned.”


“Have you got burned in the past?” asked Yui. “Even if, they weren’t Haku.”


“But it was Haku” Mio growled. “Yui, I confessed my feelings before he got together with Yukimi. And I got met with denial.”


“So Haku knows?” Sana joined the discussion.


“No. He thinks that I got over him” Mio looked throug the window. “And I don’t want to correct him.”


"If you're so afraid of getting burned, you'll finally freeze up”  said Sana. “Mio, I've known you for a month, and yet I have never seen you smile offstage!”


Mio flinched. This kid, who joined their band, was right. For years he’s been smiling only on the stage and at work.


Never in private life. Never to someone else.


Never  t r u l y .


But…


“It’s not that easy.”


“If you want to change into an iceberg, because you're terrified of pulling out a match out of a box, that’s okay. But don't make us look at it” said Sana.


"He's right” admitted Yui. “Hey, Sana, maybe you want to write something? You have a potential to write good lyrics.”


“Me? Oh…” Sana looked a little embarrassed. “Okay, I can try.”


Mio looked at them, then at the door opening.


“Something is wrong with Haku” said Lin.


“Why do you think so?” Sana was confused.


“Probably because he ran away. I won’t chase him” Lin shrugged, then he looked at Mio. “But I know, who should do it, not only because of being a leader.”


Mio sighed like a tormented martyr and jumped off the windowsill. He left the rehearsal room and called Haku.


Bassist picked up the phone for the third time.


“Hello?”


“Haku, where are you?”


“On the bridge.”


“What are you doing on the bridge?!” Mio was terrified.


“I’m standing here and watching the flowing water, because it calms me down.”


“But on the right side of the railing?”


“What? Mio, do you think I want to kill myself? Who am I, some depressed teenager?” Haku laughed loudly, though the laugh was empty. “If you want, you can come.”


“Actually, I see you already" Mio hung up and saw Haku hiding the phone in his pocket.


He was really just standing by the railing and looking at the river.


"I can see you too” Haku smirked.


"Why are you standing here, Haku?" asked Mio.


“We both forgot, didn't we?” Haku sighed, turning his back to the railing.


“About what?”


"How to smile” replied Haku. “Mio, Yukimi called me.”


“It's... I think it's good” guitarist could already feel the heat of fire.


"He wanted to tell me he’s dating someone new and told me to enjoy life” Haku extinguished the match before setting fire to another. “Well... I wanted to ask, if you would remind me how to do it, but I realized you don't remember either.”


“What are you talking about?”


“How many times did you kiss me while I was sleeping drunk?” Haku asked, grabbing Mio's arm. “You did it once, or…”


“Everytime.”


They were standing in silence for a while and staring at each other. People were passing them and didn't care about them completely.


“So you still love me. You lied to me” Haku glared at Mio. “You never stopped, did you?”


“Never.”


“In my case..." Haku moved away from Mio.


The fire was burning again.


“In my case, you can expect me to love you too. It's just a crush so far. After all, people start to feel love after four months, right?”


Haku put hands on Mio’s cheeks and kissed him. Ryosuke got over the first shock after a moment and kissed him back.


“But Ryosuke?” started Haku, when they were coming back to the rehearsal room.


“What?” Mio was surprised by hearing his real name from Haku.


“Smile.”


“But now?”


“Yes.”


Mio looked at Haku. His mouth twitched, then he smiled brightly.


“Beautifully” Haku ruffled Mio’s hair. “Let’s go, they’re probably vexed.”


Mio nodded and walked into the label’s main building.


There was still a long and winding road ahead of them, but they had just seen its end.


* * *


“Mio!” Lin called him and jumped on his back. "Leader-sama, don't sleep while awake!"


“Lin, get off me, how old are you?” Mio shook his head disapprovingly. “Besides, my back will hurt if you hang on me like that.”


"Sorry” Lin got off him and sat down next to Sana.


“Maybe we'll finish a little earlier today?” suggested Yui. “I would like to go with Saito to the restaurant before it closes for the New Years break.”


“Saito?” Sana was confused.


"Hikaru” Lin explained to him. “You know, he and Yui are an old married couple, they call each other by their first names.”


"Lin” Yui glared at him. “So what is your decision, Mio?”


"No problem, you can go” Mio shrugged.


"In fact, we can all go” Haku grabbed Mio's hand. “Let Lin and Sana close the door.”


"Hiroshi, what are you..." Mio felt confused as Haku pulled him out of the rehearsal room.


They went to the bridge, like three months earlier. Haku sat Mio down on the barrier and smiled.


“You know, Ryosuke, there is something I want to talk about…” he started, gesturing like a theater actor. “The first act of our play didn’t work out a bit. There was a declaration of love, there was a kiss, but I guess I screwed it up.”


“In fact, that's right.”


"So again” Haku leaned over him. “Do you love me, Ryosuke?”


“Yes.”


"I love you too” and he kissed him again.


This time with more emotions, more real.


And even if they had been together for three months.


Even if they’ve been sleeping together.


It was this day that was the true beginning of their relationship.


May they never forget how to smile again.


The end

Wednesday 15 March 2023

Raison d'etre

Band: The Guzmania&Acme (ex.DIV)

Pairing: Chobi&Chisa

Rating: 17+

Genre: slice of life

Warnings: mental instability

Note: Sometimes the only reason to live is some another person.

Inspired by "Answer" by DIV.


Sometimes the only thing we want is to die. Fall apart into pieces like a glass dropped on the floor.


Steel put against the skin on the wrist, silent heartbeat, held in breath, deady silence around.


All it takes is a one puch, a little of force and blood will flow on the hand like a stream of water in the mountains.


But we're hesitating, throw away the knife and hide our faces in our hands. We don't have it in us to kill ourselves, because we still see the faces of the people we love.


Cutting one's veins means a fall. Surrendering to the gravity laws. I hate falling. I am not weak.


I'm telling this to myself since I heard the clunk of the knife hitting the floor. That I won't ever trip and fall again.


A few years have passed. I finished school, became a bassist... Then a vocalist, because Reia had to depart and no one could replace him. Then you and Shougo noticed my talent...


To this day I think you're overexagerating. I'm not an excellent vocalist.


But if Reia didn't leave the band, I wouldn't grab a microphone. I wouldn't sing at that live and you wouldn't recruit me to your band.


I wouldn't meet you. You wouldn't grab me by the hand and put your arm around me, then tell me that you'll take care of me.


You're my reason to live, Hiroki. Don't let go of my hand and everything will be fine.


The end

Wednesday 8 March 2023

Moonlight flowers

Band: Gotcharocka

Pairing: Jui&Jun

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: -

Note: "Do you know, how strange love is for me?"



This mysterious feeling that spreads pleasant warmth throughout the body and accumulates in the heart, which trembles every time, when I heard my loved one's voice.


Right. Do you know, how strange love is for me? This... infatuation? I've never wanted to look only at one person, I've never wanted holding hands only with them. My women were only friends and lovers for me. Someone, with whom I was feeling good, with whom I could share interests. And men? There were maybe two or three. One night stands. Once upon a time.


I know that it will be bland and generic, as I was some love-blinded character from some romantic comedy or worse - character from a fanfiction, but I learned how to love because of you. For real, not only for fame, for having someone for longer time than six days.


Maybe some day I would tell you this. For now I'm looking at your closed eyes, I'm listening to your calm breath and I'm stroking your arm, when you're sleeping, hugging me tightly. Without a blanket, because it's still too hot for you, even if you are naked as gods made you.


I often fall asleep quickly, but today it's different. Maybe because I'm scared that if I fall asleep, you'll vanish before I open my eyes.


And it's strange for me. I've never been scared about it, I thought that it's normal. Two people meet each other, have this night only for them and split apart at daybreak. As flowers which are blooming only under the moonlight.


I sigh a little and cover us with quilt, because the window is open. Cold wind makes air a little cool.


I close my eyes. I'm an adult man, I can take care of my own emotions, I'm not some tween. After all, I just need your fingers clenched gently on my hand to be happy.


The end

Wednesday 1 March 2023

Soundless

 Band: The Guzmania&Acme (ex.DIV)

Pairing: Chobi&Chisa

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, comedy

Warnings: -

Note: Sometimes voice isn't necessary.


Chisa came back home and hanged his blouse on a coat hanger. When he was taking off his shoes, he saw Chobi, standing here with cup of tea in his hands.


"Hi" he said, but Chobi didn't respond.


He looked at Chobi, confused.


"Did something happen?"


Chobi sighed. It was such a painful sigh that Chisa thought that all Chobi's cats just died.


He gave Chisa a cup of tea, went to the cupboard and pulled out the notebook and pen from it. He wrote something on a paper and gave it to the vocalist. Chisa read a message and chuckled.


"So you can't talk? What have you done, when I have been in my parents' place?" he looked at Chobi, smiling meanly, so he was smacked on his head. "Ouch?"


Chobi wrote something again, frowning. He gave Chisa his notebook, sat on the bed with a cup of tea in his hands and looked at the wall.


"So you caught a cold and your vocal cords stopped working? Poor Chobi" Chisa pat his head. "But why are you angry?"


Chobi looked at him as if he wanted to kill him.


"Are you mad, because I can talk, and you don't?"


Chobi nodded.


"So we can be soundless together."


The bassist looked at him, confused.


"What? I can be quiet. We don't have to talk to understand each other, right?" Chisa smiled radiantly, took a pen from the cupboard and wrote something in the notebook. He then gave it to Chobi.


"So, what happened, that you became soundless?"


"I left the open window at night. The storm came and you know..."


"Didn't you notice that was suddenly cold?"


"I'm clumsy, do you remember? It could be so cold that my feet would freeze and I wouldn't notice it after all."


"Right. By the way, in my hometown storm didn't came, but I wanted a storm so much. It was so stuffy that I thought that Mum would break a hole in the wall and tell my Dad that he has to make a new window, because she wants to open it."


"Before this storm I wanted to bath in Nameko's bowl."


"You could take a cold bath."


"And I probably would catch a nephritis with my luck. I prefer to be unable to talk than suffer like aunt Chou."


"You're right. With your pain tolerance..."


"We both have pain tolerance of a guinea pig, Sachi."


"You're right."


"Hiroki, make me some tea, my stomach hurts. I hear it almost daily."


"I have weak stomach! And I am fragile vocalist, who's artistic soul is being destroyed by this cruel world..."


"Sachi, what?"


"I don't know, maybe this kind of conversation makes my brain dead."


"If I talked, it would be better."


Chisa sighed and wrote another message in notebook. The bassist read it and hugged the vocalist. He kissed him in a forehead and closed his eyes.


"I don't have to hear your voice to hear your heartbeat, you know? And nothing else matters. I need your presence, not flow of words, my babbler."


The end