Calm

Band: Moran

Pairing: Soan&Hitomi

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: -

Note: Hitomi feels calm, when he's with Soan. And he's glad for having him in his life.

Fans think that our life is carefree. After all, we do what we love, we've always dreamed about it, we don't sit all day in the office and we are our own bosses, right?

Unfortunatelly, it isn't like that. Of course, we love music, we love making it and sharing it with fans, but... We often sit at the table, on the bed, lie on the floor or even hang upside down with our legs thrown over the back of the chair because we can't find any inspiration and the company wants us to do this album for yesterday. In addition, the above-mentioned fans expect from us three photo sessions at once and probably two dozen selfies posted on Twitter.

How to take a breath in this chaos? How to find some time for hobbies besides music? Sometimes I scroll the Internet and I see stories, when we only sing, play instruments, go for rehearsals and even live in the same house with all band members and all our pets. But what about movies, TV series, books, animes, mangas and computer games? It seems like the programmer could only be interested in everything, which has to do with computers, but animals would be forbidden for him. Because how he could watch shows on Animal Planet? The programmer? It's a scandal!

So I like the most days, when we return after the tour to home and we can take a relaxing bath alone. Yes, alone. Voices of bandmates and even of our beloved ones are annoying after all this time and we need to have a time only for us. Our thoughts, our souls and our bodies.

I am almost fourty, so it isn't a shame for me to admit that I like sex. I like orgasms and I like your rough as hell hands on my body. But you know what? Even if I'm almost fourty, I still often can't admit that it isn't the most important thing.

It's about the calm. The calm in my heart, which I feel, when I'm with you. Or even when you're in the next room, or in the kitchen, making tea. Your presence is calming me, I feel like I had my own bodyguard, who will save me from this cruel world. The world outside and the world inside. I often have the impression that the greatest enemy of us are we ourselves. And I don't mean wars, but our minds. It's our brain that sends us conflicting signals and we feel stressed even though nothing is happening. It's as if we're afraid of the future, losing ourselves in the past and wasting the present.

But in your arms it's different. It's calm. After a tired day, after a long travel, after tiring tour. I love falling asleep like that. Hugging you and listening to your heartbeat. With Maa-kun laying between us in the bed. Thinking about how good it is to have someone to look after you, who cares, who cheers you up when you have a bad day and who runs after you in flip-flops, because you forgot your gloves, when you went to the studio. And maybe you often panic, maybe you're mad easily and maybe sometimes you're an egoist, but Tomofumi... I wouldn't trade you for anyone else. No one else would cover me with strong wings like you have.

I feel calm. You still whisper something to me, still patting my head, but I'm already falling asleep. I dive in the river of dreams.

See you tomorrow, Tomofumi.

The end