Illusion

Band: Alice Nine&Kagrra,

Pairing: mentioned Tora&Akiya

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: references to addiction, references to depression

Note: A dialogue between Akiya and his sister-in-law, explaining, what really happened in the past.

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Sayuri is my headcanon name for Aoi's sister. I also have headcanon that she's Akiya's sister-in-law. She was mentioned before in my other fics, especially in my "Vanilla&Raspberry" series.

"...and she got medicine. It's working" said my sister-in-law, pulling a box from her bag. "I have it just in case she'll forget."

I took the package from her and looked at it. I knew these pills. And they actually worked well.

Too well.

"You know the dose, right?" I asked.

"Yes. Three pills daily" replied Sayuri. "My brother used to take it. After our dad's death."

"One. Maybe two. After three some strange things start to happen" I gave her back the package. "I think that you don't want to know, what things."

"Oh" Sayuri hid the pills in her bag. "Is it so bad?"

"Yes. Especially when you take it longer" I confirmed. "You can... Hmm... Have something  like a group hallucination. You can see the things that don't exist. Hear voices, even feel someone's touch... You know, like schizophrenics."

"And this hallucinations last long?" asked Sayuri.

"Until you're taking the pills" I replied. "And when you stop... Well. You suddenly realize that all this time it was only illusion and..."

"And?" Sayuri seemed worried.

"You regret it" I laughed fakely. "You really regret that it was only an illusion. That it wasn't real. But you're happy, anyway."

"Happy? Why?" my sister-in-law was confused.

"Because you realize that these situations would be the same, if they were real. Because you know these people" I shrugged. "And it's a good feeling. That you know someone so well."

"Have you been taking these pills for a long time?" she asked finally.

"About a year and a half" I replied, standing up, because I wanted to make some tea. "Keiyu became addicted to it."

"Oh" Sayuri was really worried now. "Addicted?"

"Yes" I confirmed. "You know, everything that gives you happiness in rainy days, can become addiction. No matter, if it's alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, pills or trope in story, which makes you happy. Everything is for people, but if you lose yourself in it, what is it for?"

"Right" Sayuri nodded.

I went to get the tea and came back after a moment.

"Your tea" I gave her a cup.

"Thank you" she smiled a little. "In addition to that year and a half, have you ever taken them again?"

"In December, I took a few at once. It wasn't smart" I laughed. "Don't do it at home."

"It was so bad?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"It was too good" I corrected. "But it was that moment, in which I needed to relax. To realize that Masashi won't leave me. Even if a only a ghost of my best friend, who I only imagined, told me this..."

The end