Little Red Riding Hood

Band: Xaa-Xaa; Dadaroma in the background

Pairing: Reiya&An

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, comedy

Warnings: minor sexual scenes

Note: Reiya is slowly losing his mind because of An being a little shit.

And Haru's intervention didn't help at all.

He blinked.

His head hurt.

His forehead specifically.

He heard some voices.

He blinked once again.

His nose also hurt. And it was bleeding a little.

He touched his nose. Yes, he was right. It was bleeding.

Only then he realised that he's laying down. On the cold floor and he's going to catch a cold, if he doesn't get up.

"Reiya!" he heard and turned around towards the voice.

An was leaning over him. Yusuke was standing against the wall and looking at them with a grumpy face.

"Is he alive?" asked Yusuke.

An nodded.

"So help him get up, because he's paiting the floor with his blood" murmured Yusuke and came back to his rehearsal room.

"What's with him?" asked Reiya, sitting up. "And what happened?"

"Tomo hit you with the door" explained An, putting a tissue on Reiya's nose. "You blacked out for a moment, I think."

"Yeah, you're right" said Reiya, letting him wipe his face from blood. "Was I out for long?"

"Maybe a few second" replied An.

"Where's Tomo, by the way?"

"He went to the social room to get some ice" replied An and in that moment Tomo came back with a bag of ice.

"Here" he said, giving it to An. "Reiya, I'm sorry, I didn't want to, I didn't know that you were so close to the door..."

"I'm okay, don't worry" said Reiya, touching his nose. "See? It's not broken."

"Good, you wouldn't be so handsome otherwise" An laughed, pressing a bag of ice to Reiya's face.

"Heh" Reiya tried pretending to laugh, but failed completely.

He got up, leaning against the wall and on An's shoulder. Muscular shoulder, even if An was a little chubby.

An was made from opposities. His delicate features contrasted with his low, masculine voice. He was short, but strong. He often pretended to be serious, but he wasn't at all. He used to narrow his big, pretty eyes just to seem more menacing. It didn't work. He looked more like a rebellious kid.

Six years younger than Reiya. Twenty centimeters shorter than him. More childish and not serious at all.

Maybe that was the reason, why Reiya loved him. Maybe he was smacked by that door, because he got distracted by An.

He would do anything about his feelings, if he didn't promise himself that he's not going to date bandmates again. He and Haru broke up and Roji and Kazuki's relationship ended with a total catastrophe. Maybe if he didn't intervene... Oh, nevermind that, he couldn't change the past.

He was thirty three already. He knew, how to stop himself from kissing An's ideally shaped lips.

"Gods, Reiya, are you okay?" asked Haru, when they walked into the rehearsal room.

Kazuki looked up and mumbled that Reiya's nose matches his mood this day. Or something like that. Reiya didn't understand clearly, because his brother said it with his typical quiet, sleepy voice.

"It's nothing, I was just hit by the door" replied Reiya, standing in front of the mirror.

He didn't look so bad.

"Here" An gave him a wet napkin.

Reiya wiped his face and sighed.

"You should go home" said Haru. "Or visit a doctor and make sure you don't have a concussion."

"I'm okay, I just got hit by the door" replied Reiya.

"But it's probably your fault, after all" Haru shrugged.

"I didn't hit myself, it was Tomo" Reiya glared at him.

"But" Haru leaned on him "you came here with An. So it's your fault, both his and yours. You stared at him for too long and lost contact with the reality, am I right?"

...did Haru really notice?

"You know that relationships in the same band aren't the best idea" replied Reiya. "It's going to end faster than you think."

"Why do you think so?" asked Haru. "Have you tried with anyone else, besides me?"

"No, but Roji and Kazuki tried and you know very well, how it ended" Reiya was already a little tired of Haru's bullshit.

"If you think so" Haru shrugged. "I just wanted to help."

Reiya sighed. Maybe Haru was right? Maybe he should give An and himself a chance?

He looked at the tissue, still covered with his blood.

He knew well that it was the reason, why he hit that stupid door. The reason was named Antoki Nonan and he was sitting behind his drumset, not knowing about Reiya's feelings.

* * *

Reiya was brushing his teeth, when he heard knocking on his door. He ignored it, washed his mouth and put his toothbrush into the mug.

Knocking didn't stop. Someone kept repeating it over and over, so Reiya thought that it could be something important. Usually he wouldn't open the door at midnight, but he decided to at least check, who's behind them.

He looked through the peephole and saw An. He was wearing a red coat and had a basket in his hands. Like some Little Red Riding Hood.

Reiya opened the door, trying to calm down his dirty mind. Why this coat made him so horny?

"Hello, Mister Wolf. Is grandma home?" asked An, smiling brightly.

"Hi, An... Wait, what?" Reiya blinked.

Shouldn't he say... "Boku"? Or "watashi" at least?

"Grandma" repeated An, walking inside. "Grandma, where are you?!"

"What are you doing, An?" asked Reiya, closing the door.

"What do you mean?" An smiled again. "I prepared my grandma's favourite snacks and she's not home?"

In this moment Reiya realised that An really kept saying "atashi", not "watashi" or "boku".

A shiver ran down his spine. Cute boys speaking in the feminine form? And...

Reiya looked down at An's legs.

Are these...

"Why do you have overknee socks? Where are your trousers?" Reiya tried to talk louder, but he saw scarlet patent leather shoes and he forgot, how to use his vocal cords correctly.

...

 

Haru. Haru had to tell him about it.

"Little Red Riding Hood didn't wear trousers, she had a dress" An put his basket on the table and started to unbutton his coat.

Reiya covered his eyes. He couldn't look, he didn't want to see it. He's not looking for love in his own band, why An makes it so difficult?!

"Wolfie~!" Reiya felt An's rough hands on his wrists. "Am I so ugly that you don't want to look at me or what?"

Reiya looked at him through his fingers. Black-white, pretty dress with frills fit An perfectly. If someone, unlike Reiya, cared about An being chubby, it wouldn't be noticeable at all too.

And that he was a guy, went through Reiya's bisexual mind.

Reiya felt warmth under his nose. Holy shit, did he really get another nosebleed?!

"You're bleeding" An chuckled like a girl. "Did a hunter shot you already~?"

"Who?" asked Reiya, trying to stop the bleeding.

Gods, this situation looked like a scene in a pretty bad anime.

"A fairy told me" replied An. "This fairy likes flowers and liked you in the past~"

Oh, so he was right. That's why Haru wanted to talk with An after the rehearsal. Kazuki left the room first, not even noticing that Haru is up to something. Reiya had an impression that something weird is going on, but he didn't expect that...

"I have to wash my face" announced Reiya and ran to the bathroom as fast as he could.

Right. Before An would make him too horny with just his appearence and acting.

He washed his face with cold water and wiped blood from his nose.

Stupid An, stupid Haru, stupid kink.

"Wolfie~" he heard along the sound of the door opening.

An walked inside, holding a glass of wine.

"Come with me, I found grandma, we can eat her" said An, grabbing Reiya's hand and pulling him towards the sofa.

On the table there were laying sweets and fruits. An sat him down on the sofa and immediately put strawberry in his mouth.

"It's sweet, right, Wolfie?" he asked. "They're from my garden~"

"Tasty" said Reiya, but he couldn't say anything else, because An put some chocolate in his mouth.

"I just thought... They say that lips are raspberry red, right?" An smirked, taking a raspberry out from a bowl. "What if they're made from real raspberries?"

An crushed a fruit between his fingers and then he spread the juice over his lips.

Reiya closed his eyes.

"Alright, you won. You can stop acting like Little Riding Hood, be yourself" said Reiya. "And stop saying this damned >>atashi<< or... Nonan!"

Reiya opened his eyes. An was holding his palm with one hand and rubbing his tigh with the other.

"If you want to get rid of Little Red Riding Hood, you can" said An. "Just take off my clothes."

Reiya counted to three.

One, he's going to kill Haru.

Two, he must cancel tomorrow's rehearsal.

Three, fuck all rules. He has to fuck An too, in this outfit, only without pants.

Because Kazuki was right in that interview. Reiya really is a horrible hentai and he cannot do anything about it.

And An, who fell asleep in his arms after sex, knew about it, because he was a little horny himself. But not as much as his beloved man, who was still smiling, even deeply asleep.

The End

Scent of the Rain

Band: Kizu&Xaa-Xaa

Pairing: Lime&Kazuki

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: alcohol

Note: Lime finds Kazuki on his doormat. With an alcohol-scented broken heart.

Men shouldn't cry.

This is what society wants and that is what we should follow.

We shouldn't cry, when something bad happened. We shouldn't cry after our beloved one's death. We shouldn't cry, when we have broken heart.

We shouldn't.

And usually we remember about it.

And then we're drunk and we forget about every social norms. About all the principles of operation of the modern world.

Kazuki was sitting on a doormat in front of the door to my home. With his knees tucked under his chin, his arms wrapped around his legs.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, folding the umbrella and, as usual, cutting my finger.

Typical.

He looked at me.

"Kazuki?" I crouched.

It was strange to look at him from above, because he's tall as a birch tree, and I... Well, I'm not one of the tallest people.

He smelled of rum and geosmine.

"What happened?" I asked, putting a hand on his cheek.

He was cold. His cheeks would be warm because of tears, but these big, dark clouds made this powerful downpour. But Kazuki's red eyes said that it wasn't only rain, which washed his cheeks.

"Kazu?" I looked in his eyes - black as a despair, which always was hiding in them.

They reminded me of my eyes. Maybe it was the reason, why I understood Kazuki better than other people did.

"Get up. Let's go inside. You can't sit here. You'll catch a cold" I smiled gently.

Kazuki stood up. He was still quiet.

The silence was interrupted by a the clang of the lock in the door. We went inside. My dogs were happy to see us.

"I have to go for a walk with them" I said quietly.

Kazuki looked at me, still not changing that pained face of his.

"I'm sorry. I will try to come back soon. Well, it's raining, so it isn't the best weather for a walk" I said, fastening Lemon's and Fuu-chan's leashes.

The roads turned into swift streams because of the rain. The umbrella bent in all directions.

I would have to throw it away.

I came home and unfastened my dogs' leashes. They rushed to their baskets at once and buried themselves in the blankets.

Kazuki fell asleep on the sofa. His clothes were still wet.

"You'll catch a cold" I sighed.

He opened his eyes. So he wasn't asleep?

"Can you tell me, what happened?" I've been annoyed already.

"Youhei... I mean, Roji. He broke up with me" explained Kazuki, staring at the wall. "It hurts, Lime. Maybe I'm too old to feel this pain. But it still hurts."

"It hurts, because you're drunk" I said, putting a blanket on Kazuki's shoulders. "When you'll sober up, it would stop hurting."

"It hurt, when I was sober before" he mumbled.

"But less. Alcohol only strengthens the pain because you lose control of your emotions" I stroked his head and hissed.

Stupid wound.

I looked at my hand. Because of the rain, a band aid was wet and peeled off. The blood that had not yet clothed began to trickle again.

Kazuki was watching it too. He took my hand gently and ran his index finger over the wound.

I hissed again. What the hell was he thinking?

"What are you doing?" I asked, watching as Kazuki spreads my blood on his fingers.

He probably lost his mind, I think.

"Kazu?" I put my left hand on his cheek and lifted his head, because I wanted to see his eyes.

He looked at me, still holding my hand.

He was completely drenched. I was a bit.

We both smelled like geosmine now.

And I don't know, why I pulled out my hand between Kazuki's fingers. Maybe because I wanted to put my hand on his other cheek and kiss his lips.

And maybe because he looked like a poor puppy and I am dog person.

And maybe because he's one of my best friends and maybe because of this I knew that he needed it.

And maybe because of this I helped to take off his clothes and I let him do it the same with mine.

He was submissive. Very submissive. As if he didn't care anymore.

And I didn't know if it was because of the alcohol or his mood or a little bit of both.

All I knew was that he hugged me right after I fell on him. I couldn't breath even more than a moment before.

Or maybe we both needed it? I don't know.

But for the first time I felt that it really didn't matter that he was twenty centimeters taller than me. And that he is three years older.

In bed we're the same.

And when it comes to the psyche, we're all the same.

Weak as brittle leaves in the fall.

Especially the two of us.

It might come as a surprise to some, but a broken heart doesn't really care what gender its owner is.

The end

Silent Sorrow

Band: Dadaroma&Xaa-Xaa

Pairing: Yoshiatsu&Kazuki, mentioned Reiya&An

Rating: 17+

Genre: angst

Warnings: depression, based on real story

Note: Written after Dadaroma's hiatus (disband).

I've been staring at Reiya's phone's screen for a long time. Very long time.

I blinked.

But...

"Go to him" Reiya hid his phone in the pocket.

"But I... I..." my voice cracked.

I didn't know anything. I didn't notice anything.

Diving in my own sadness, just waiting for him to pull me out.

So why...

The roles have switched, right?

"I don't know, if I can..." I sat next to the wall. "I can't."

An sighed and he crouched down beside me.

"To be honest, nobody can. But you have to try" he said. "And even if you don't know, how... Probably your presence will be enough."

"I've been with him for a long time and I hadn't noticed anything!" I cried. "So what do you think I should do now?"

"There were days, when my voice couldn't get out from the very first song due to mental health issues."

"But don't yell at me" An put a hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to raise your voice."

"Do you have any idea, Haru?" asked Reiya. "Besides that Kazu should go home."

"No" Haru shook his head. "I just think this is the best solution in this situation."

"I think so too" Reiya pulled out cigarettes from his pocket and tried to lit one, but he couldn't. "Oh, right. My lighter has run out of fuel."

"And very well, you can do a day without these cancer sticks" said An.

Reiya just snorted.

"I think so" he started, walking to me and gave me a hand. "But now I wanted to somehow vent this tense atmosphere."

I grabbed Reiya's hand and stood up. I hugged him. He stroke my head like when we were kids.

"Go home" he just whispered and let me go.

I grabbed my bag and went home. I didn't want to, confronting Yoshiatsu at this point was the last thing I needed in my life.

But I had to talk to him. I had to find out everything. I needed to know why the ground I had under my feet and which I was convinced was hard rock turned out to be thin ice.

Probably because I believed that those scars on his arm covered by tattoos are just a trace of the past.

After all, "his private life is shit"...

* * *

I opened door to my flat. Yoshiatsu stood in the kitchen and was making tea, humming happily.

"Kazu?" he was confused, when he saw me. "What are you doing here? I thought your rehearsal hadn't ended yet."

"Reiya let me go earlier" I explained, putting my bag on the floor.

I still didn't know what to do. How I could even start this stupid conversation?

"Reiya? He let you go earlier?" in his voice I heard the worry.

He put a cup on the table and put a hand on my shoulder.

"What happened, Kazu? Are you in a sad mood?"

He seriously...

Ugh.

I hugged him. Tightly. So tightly that he groaned.

"Kazuki, you're going to break my ribs" he laughed shortly. "What happened, you can tell me eve..."

"You tell me" I replied.

I felt him tense up. I think he figured it out. He has never been stupid.

"...have you seen this post?" he asked after a moment.

"Yes" I admitted.

I pushed him away from me, but I didn't take my hands from his shoulders.

"I knew you would finally see it, but..." he sighed softly. "Don't worry, it's just my..."

"But I care!" I clenched my fingers on his arms tight enough that he hissed in pain. "And I'll be worried. Just because I have my worries, that I have a spiderweb of scars on my psyche and that sometimes I really don't want to exist in this stupid world doesn't mean you can't tell me about your sadness, for gods' sake!"

Yoshiatsu had been staring at me for a while, then he took off my hands from his arms and cuddled up to me.

"What's going on, Yocchi?" I asked, feeling that my shirt is getting wet. "Yocchi?"

"I don't know" I heard the answer. "I really don't know..."

"It's been always like this?"

"Yes..."

"And you were hiding it?"

"Yes..."

"Awesome" I stroke his head. "And have you dealt with me and my crises?"

"Yes..."

"Do you want to cry?"

"Y-yes..." Yoshiatsu said with a trembling voice, clenching his fingers on my shirt.

He's been sobbing for a long time. Even if our legs started to hurt and we sat on the carpet, he's been still crying.

I knew from my own experience that stopping this waterfall is useless. Because nobody can stop it.

I don't even know, when we laid down. I don't even know, when it hit our downcast minds that we were lying down and that the carpet was actually soft enough.

And then we laid on the floor like two dumbasses among the hurriedly shed clothes, stroking the other one and promising each other that everything would be okay.

But I don't know, if any of us still believes it.

The end

Advertisement 4

Band: Acme, D=OUT, DIV, The Guzmania, Dadaroma, Xaa-Xaa, Kizu, Belle, An Cafe, SuG, Luna Sea, Anfiel

Pairing: Rikito&Haru, Naoto&Shougo, Chobi&Chisa, Tokiha&Yoshio, Tomo&Takashi, Yoshiatsu&Kazuki, Reiya&An, Ryohei&Haru, Roji&Yusuke, Yue&Lime, Kyonosuke&Reiki, Masato&Akiya, Haro&Haru, Mitsuru&Bou, Sugizo&Inoran

Rating: 17+

Genre: comedy, parody

Warnings: specific sense of humour

Note: How does adawinry see each pairing? Take the trip to the bathroom as an example. Again.

Rikito: Haruo, listen, I understand a lotm but...

Haru: *sits in a bathtub with panda-shaped sponge and a rubber panda, pours in bubble bath from a panda-shaped bottle* What?

Rikito: ...nevermind.

* * *

Naoto: Shogo?

Shougo: Haha, forget about it. *smacks his head*

* * *

Chisa: Chobisuke~

Chobi: Again with the "Chobisuke"...

Chisa: Better give me a hand. We're going to the bathroom. *pulls Chobi by his hand*

Chobi: Or, right. You cannot argue with a hentai. *obediently follows Chisa*

* * *

Tokiha: *covered in feathers* *wet* You didn't have to push me under the shower an pur everything on me. A "no" would be enough...

Yoshio: *hisses* Don't tell me how to react.

Tokiha: . . .

* * *

Tomo: *covered with some black substanece*

Takashi: What.

Tomo: I thought it's a bubble bath...

Takashi: . . .

* * *

Yoshiatsu: Kazu, wanna take a bath together?

Kazuki: A bath won't clear me from the stain of suffering following me through all my life. Existence on this world is pointless if...

Yoshiatsu: *pulls him to the bathroom* After giving it a thought I think I need to improove your mood.

Kazuki: . . .

* * *

An: *jumps into the water, splashing it all over the bathroom*

Reiya: *wipes his face* I don't think it's a good...

An: *pulls Reiya into the water*

Reiya: ...idea.

* * *

Haru: *puts a flower crown on Ryohei's head*

Ryohei: What is it for?

Haru: You look less bald now and I'm not gonna take a bath with a baldy.

Ryohei: . . .

* * *

Roji: Yusuke~

Yusuke: I'd rather take a shower.

Roji: We can do it while showering~

Yusuke: My left arm is fine and I won't hesitate to use it.

Roji: What do you mean?

Yusuke: I'll punch you.

Roji: . . .

* * *

Yue: *scratched and with bite marks all over him* I get it. "No".

Lime: Good, we can agree. Or maybe we can...

Yue: You'll hurt yourself. No.

Lime: . . .

* * *

Reiki: Are you getting into the bathtub?

Kyonosuke: I'm waiting for my mothership.

Reiki: What.

* * *

Masato: Wakita, there's this commercial...

Akiya: I'm afraid we won't fit in.

Masato: . . .

* * *

Haro: And you covered yourself with honey, because?

Haru: You'll see~

Haro: . . .

* * *

Mitsuru: Saito, come take a bath.

Bou: I'm not going alone.

Mitsuru: Saito, I meant we should go together.

Bou: Then I'm going!

* * *

Sugizo: Inoue~

Inoran: Yune, how old are you?

Sugizo: Too old to take "no" for an answer~

Inoran: . . .

Inoran: Actually, why not?

* * *

The end

Some things are more important than the other

Band: Dadaroma&Xaa-Xaa

Pairing: Yoshiatsu&Kazuki, mentioned Reiya&An

Rating: 17+

Genre: comedy

Warnings: -

Note: Yoshiatsu is trying to quit smoking. Or to be precise, Kazuki is trying to persuade him to do that.

Sometimes you love something.

Sometimes you love someone.

Sometimes the one you love just...

"Leave these cigarettes."

...hates the thing you love.

I froze with a cigarrette and a firestarter in my hand. Kazuki was staring at me, as always mad, when I wanted to smoke in front of him.

"But Kazu..."

"Give it to tme."

"But..."

"Give me."

Look, how firm! Now he says "Give it to me" and he doesn't want to dance for me as always.

...well, almost always.

"Yocchi, what have I told you?"

"We won't have fun, if you smoke" I repeated his words, making my voice a little childish. "Alright, alright, you're right."

Kazuki smiled proudly, when I hid a cigarette.

Sometimes someone, who loves you, knows, what do you like more than something you like less.

It sounds silly, but that's true.

And I prefer not smoking than not having sex.

Forever!

I lasted a week once. 

And after this I didn't smoke for a week, because I had to catch up.

"Leave me alone already" I mumbled, leaning on the windowsill.

Stupid uke.

"Quit and I'll leave you alone" he said, standing next to me.

"You won't leave me, especially today. In bed."

"But you can't smoke."

"Efefefe."

"What?" Kazuki laughed, looking at me. "I can't understand you sometimes."

"You can" I smacked his arm. "You can everything."

"I know it."

"But you can't tell Reiya."

"He would kill you."

"Or he would tell An and An would think that it's a good idea. And everything would be my fault."

"Your fault? Not mine?"

"You are his lovely, sweet little brother" I pinched Kazuki's cheeks. "He even can't rise his voice at you. And I'm this bad, evil seme, who fucks his little brother."

"It sounds bad."

"I know."

"Yoshiatsu, please."

"You can beg me at night. For more."

"Yocchi!"

"You can also scream in sweet pain~"

Kazuki sighed and shook his head.

And laughed.

And that's a good reaction.

"Have you tried these tricks with Roji?" I asked.

"No. He didn't listen to me at all. Even if I tried, he would smoke. So I stopped" Kazuki shrugged.

"So I'm not as naughty?" I was surprised.

"About smoking? Yes" nodded Kazuki.

"But there are reasons, why I am still naughty, right?"

"Right. Take that hand away."

"No."

"Take. This. Hand. Away."

"No."

"Why am I even talking?"

"You can talk to me in a different way~"

"Yocchi..."

"For example, such as~"

And sometimes the one you love is so stubborn that he will force you to quit smoking, so you'll do it for him.

I realised that I have a strong will, when I was trying to quit smoking.

When I was trying to not have sex... Not at all.

But there is another good thing.

I saw the most beautiful smile in the world because of my success.

And even laughter!

To sum up, sometimes it is worth giving up something you only like for someone you love.

And I regret nothing. Especially since it was good for my health.

The end

The world knew it before us

Band: Dadaroma&Xaa-Xaa

Pairing: Yoshiatsu&Kazuki, mentioned Tomo&Takashi and Reiya&An; Yoshiatsu&Yusuke, Roji&Kazuki and Reiya&Haru in the past

Rating: 17+

Genre: slice of life

Warnings: -

Note: "Because the world knew it before us. And, as you can see, it was right."

As soon as our bands were formed, the label immediately decided to create something like a package out of them. It didn't bother us, because we quickly got along and a real bond of friendship was made between us.

Well... There were interesting times. Tomo and Takashi fell in love with each other almost immediately, for Reiya and Haru it took a little longer to do so. But I remember how everyone was surprised, when I got together with Yusuke, because they were so sure I was in relationship with you. Not that I'm in love with you or that we have a crush on each other or something. No. Everyone immediately assumed that we are already together. They reacted similarly to your relationship with Roji, although most were already informed that you aren't with me. It's just a friendship, nothing else. It was a bit hard for them to believe it, when they saw all these pictures of us holding hands or this famous photo in the rain. But it was true. We weren't together.

You were coming to me after quarells with Roji. Yusuke, seeing you in doors, immedentially knew that you need to talk with me. Reiya has been telling me since forever that I'm the only one, who can cheer you up and tell you that you have to get yourself together. Roji and Reiya couldn't do it. Not them, not Haru, Lime or anyone, who is your friend. Only me.

Reiya and Haru broke up early, but they still were friends. No one cared, no one was even surprised. It was completely different with your conflict with Roji. Reiya was involved in all of this, and I'm sorry, but I probably did my part too, because I couldn't watch you get hurt. Luckily, Yusuke calmed me down. Reiya also gave up, but Roji decided to disappear both from the stage and from our life.

Well, maybe not with all of us. He was still in touch with Yusuke and Reiya. With me he had relationship, which I can call as "birthday and New Year wishes". A typical old-time acquaintance with whom you no longer have regular contact.

It still stirred up our stabilized life. Two relationships had ended. What, how, when did it happen? Besides that, An joined your band, causing even more chaos. Reiya fell in love with him and once, because of staring at this lovely drummer, he crashed into the door in a beautiful style.

I'm glad that Haru took matters into his own hands and told An how to pick up your brother, because I swear that I wouldn't take it anymore and I would end up kicking both of them in the ass just to get them together.

Meanwhile Yusuke started to have problems with his trembling arm. He's a drummer, so it was very annoying for him. I kicked him out to the doctor and we learned that it was the end of Yusuke's carrier in our band. In fact, he couldn't be a drummer anymore. And I lost my mind, to be honest. Yusuke told me that I'm too overprotective and I stopped caring about myself and my dreams because of his dystonia, so it will be better, if we break up.

And suddenly I was single again. I suddenly realized that my bed is empty. Suddenly everything became bland and without sense again. Even if sometimes I met some pretty woman, it was only for sex, nothing more. And Tomo and Takashi were even more confused about everything.

I don't know, when I realised that you're the only one, about whom I'm constantly thinking. Tired, sad, broody you with all these disturbing, depressing lyrics in one hand and tissues in the other. Maybe it was when I went to visit Yusuke and I saw Roji in his kitchen. He's been sitting here, in black, worn out sweats and eating the rice with vegetables. I thought then that it would be funny, if we exchanged our partners at first, but suddenly I realised that no. It wouldn't be funny. It would be awesome and your pretty smile flickered under my eyelids. So I think that I realised it then.

I hug you, pressing my face against your hair. All the emotions, sighs and echoes of our names are still in the air. I have to protect you, especially from yourself. And I don't mind it, even if I'm worried about you sometimes. I like this role. Because the world knew it before us. And, as you can see, it was right.

The end

Mirror

Band: Dadaroma&Xaa-Xaa

Pairing: Yoshiatsu&Kazuki

Rating: 17+

Genre: slice of life

Warnings: mental instability, self-harm, mental breakdown, depression, self-hatred, mild language

Note: It's not a good day for Kazuki. Or week. Or month. Or year. Or life.

But luckily for him, Yoshiatsu is here.

Casual, old mirror. Silvered. There were some scratches, but it was still solid. In broken frame that had to be glued a lot of times already.

In fact, he should've thrown away this mirror a long time ago. Put it somewhere between old, rusty bathtub and a sofa stinking of dog piss. He didn't even buy it. It was there since old owners lived here. But a fact is, when he moved in, it wasn't broken at all.

Scratches started to appear later. One after another. And there was more and more of them. Mainly because of him.

Habit. Habit of smacking the mirror with an open palm. Maybe that's why it was still there? If it was made of plastic, produced in one of today's factories, it wouldn't survive even a single impact. It would immediately fall off the nail and shatter into a million pieces. And this one? And it doesn't even budge. And only sometimes he needs to wash away small drops of blood from it.

Solid mirror. Good mirror. Only this frame is a bit bland, probably glued to it much later and replaced. What was it originally made of? Gold, silver, platinum? It's probably just tombak-gilded copper. It doesn't match the silver surface it surrounds.

He didn't know, what reminded him of himself more - the mirror or its frame. He was staring at his own, self-hated reflection and he didn't know, why. He thought of himself as someone useless, but at the same time he still wanted to be here. He wanted to be useful, loved, admired...

He punched the mirror with his palm. He heard his own heart beating in his chest so fast as hummingbird flaps its wings. The sound mixed with the crackling glass under his fingers.

Another scratch. Another blood drops. Typical. He's going to tell his bandmates, what he normally tells them. That he was cutting vegetables, that it was the neighbour's cat, that a barrier was too sharp... They would laugh and call him clumsy. Only his brother would glare at him. And that's it. He knows that he can't force him to stop.

It's just a mirror. Typical old mirror. And a web of breaks on the silver surface. Almost the same as on his palm.

Colourful band-aid put on the wound, which iches a little. No problem. It's nothing. Just a little scratch. It's really nothing.

Sometimes it was better. Especially when he was with someone else. When someone smiled to him. When there was someone, who waited for him at home. During tours he didn't feel so depressed. Because he was needed.

And here? Is there anyone, who needs him here? He should stop thinking about it. He should go on practice.

But An is going to be here. Everytime he saw this cheerful drummer, he remembered that Roji left. He left the band and he left his life... He disappeared. An is going to bother him, just like this chemical scent, when you go to the supermarket and you want to buy a floor cleaner.

He likes An. An is nice. But An replaced Roji in the band. And every replacement of Roji in his life ended with another scratches on the silver surface of the mirror and his soft hand.

Maybe if he didn't live in his own world, he would notice that rain has been banging happily against the iron windowsills since an hour. He would take an umbrella and wouldn't be soaking wet. He wouldn't have such a big desire to go back home and stay there for the rest of his life.

It was pouring. Is going for rehearsal in this weather even smart? He's probably going to be sick and Reiya would worry about him. He doesn't want to worry Reiya. He doesn't want to worry anyone. Not An, not Haru and not his brother.

But if he already left home, is there any sense in going back? It would also worry Reiya, because he's not going to be on rehearsal...

He sighed. Too many problems just because of this rainy day. He likes rain. He relates to rain. But in such situations it was a little annoying.

He realised how much he was lost in thoughts, when he got scared because of a car riding too fast. He jumped with fear, tripped and fell into the puddle. Deep puddle. Well, he even started wondering, if ground was so wet, or there was a hole there, because water almost covered him.

He closed his eyes. He didn't hear anything, almost covered with water. He spread his arms and thought that going to the rehearsal would be in vain in such wet clothes.

And now he's going to catch a cold for sure. Well, sometimes body has to be sick too, it's not only soul's thing after all.

But then he felt someone's fingers clenching on his shoulders and then they pulled him out of water.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

He opened his eyes and met other - angry, worried and reflecting blackness of umbrella, belonged to Yoshiatsu.

"I'm getting wet in the rain" replied Kazuki. "But just... extremally."

"And I already thought that you wanted to drown in the puddle" Yoshiatsu got up and pulled Kazuki with himself.

Kazuki didn't want to force his legs to co-operate, but he knew that he won't win debate with his friend.

"It's deep, isn't it?" mumbled Kazuki, looking at the puddle. "Like depression."

"Oh gods..." Yoshiatsu looked up. "For fuck's sake, why?"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind, we should go now" Yoshiatsu grabbed his hand. "You have to change your clothes or you'll catch a cold. We don't want to make Reiya freak out, right?"

"I prefer to not worry anyone" said Kazuki, following Yoshiatsu.

Black umbrella above their heads was protecting them from rain falling from also black clouds. Water was splashing in Kazuki's shoes, when he was wondering, what Yoshiatsu was doing here. But he prefered not to ask. He didn't want to know the real reason. He prefered to think that some deity told Yoshiatsu to pull Kazuki out of this puddle.

Yoshiatsu took keys from Kazuki's trembling hands and unlocked the door. He hated such slow moving people. Of course he could forgive Kazuki because of him being himself.

"We have to make some hot tea. Or coffee" said Yoshiatsu, walking inside and unfolding his umbrella to let it dry out.

"But you are the guest..." noticed Kazuki.

"I let myself in" replied Yoshiatsu. "Besides, I'm here so often recently that it's like I'm living here too. Go change your clothes and I'll make tea."

In this moment a phone started ringing in Kazuki’s soaked bag.

"I can handle Reiya too" Yoshiatsu took his friend's bag. "Go change, I'll talk to him."

"As you wish" Kazuki walked towards his closet.

* * *

Mirror was hanged on the wall across the door, so the first thing Kazuki saw, when he entered the bathroom, was his own reflection. Rain water was still dripping from his hair.

He closed the door and leaned against it. He heard Yoshiatsu talking to Reiya. But he noticed something weird. Yoshiatsu had never been so serious before.

"I don't know, what the hell happened that he was laying in that puddle" said Yoshiatsu. "I have no idea. Nah, it wasn't deep, maybe two centimeters."

He was lying. Probably because he didn't want to worry Reiya. Or he didn't admit himself that this puddle was so deep that everyone could drown in it.

"Reiya, calm down" this time Kazuki almost didn't hear him, because Yoshiatsu was talking so quietly. "What? Band-aid? Yeah, he has one on his palm, why do you ask?"

He was silent for a while.

"Kazuki isn't that stupid, Reiya" Yoshiatsu sounded offended. "He's not some bratty idiot, he's almost thirty. You're overreacting. It's..."

He was lowering his voice with every word, moving away from a bathroom. Kazuki didn't hear anything else.

He looked in the mirror. Silver surface reflected his tired and still wet face.

Bratty... idiot...?

But he... really was... that stupid...

His wound from the morning was itching.

He stepped closer to mirror.

And suddenly...

BANG!

It crushed.

It couldn't handle another punch. Every break, which appeared on it before, widened. Pieces were falling one by one on the shelf, floor and to the sink.

Bing, bang, bong.

Frame fell with a loud thud, falling from the rusty nail. It hit the sink, breaking the fragile porcelain and a faucet. Some tiles also fell off, breaking into pieces.

There was much more blood than usual. Was this caused by the stronger punch?

Doors opened abruptly. Yoshiatsu stood in the treshold, looked around the bathroom, looked straight in Kazuki's eyes and put his phone on the cupboard.

"Have you lost your mind?" he asked finally, looking at his friend's hand.

He froze for a moment, then he sweared and hit the wall with his fist.

Kazuki was just staring at him. He couldn't move. He couldn't talk. Blood was dripping from his hand on the floor, but he didn't care.

"Where do you have bandages?" asked Yoshiatsu, gritting his teeth. "Tell me!"

Kazuki pointed on the cupboard by the doors. Yoshiatsu, swearing under his breath, pulled out first aid box and grabbed his friend's unwounded hand.

"What are you doing?"

"And what do you think?" growled Yoshiatsu, forcing him to follow himself. "What do you think I'm doing?"

Yoshiatsu sat Kazuki on the bed.

"Hand."

"Yocchi..."

"GIVE ME THAT HAND!" yelled Yoshiatsu, making Kazuki tremble, but he listened to him anyway and gave him his hand to patch.

Yoshiatsu washed over the wound with sanitizer, put a gauze pad and wrapped a bandage around his hand. Kazuki felt that his fingers were trembling a bit.

"Here. Tell me, if it's too tight" said Yoshiatsu.

"It's okay" replied Kazuki.

"Why did you do that?" asked Yoshiatsu. "What happened that you hit this mirror with your own hand, huh? Did you lose your mind?"

"I don't know..." Kazuki was trying not to look at him.

He has been just staring at his own slippers.

"And I've told Reiya already that he's overprotective. I didn't expect that this older brother of yours is right" Yoshiatsu pulled out his cigarettes from his pocket, but when he opened the box, he realised that it's empty. "Oh, right. I forgot to buy a new one. Fuck this shit."

Yoshiatsu threw the empty box against the wall.

"Kazuki, for fuck's sake" Yoshiatsu grabbed his shoulders. "What's going on? You can't do something like this. Damn, you really can't. This mirror had scratches before, but I thought that it's because it's old. So, why are you doing this? Just look at me and answer."

"I don't know..." Kazuki sighed. "I don't like... I hate myself. That's why probably."

Yoshiatsu frowned slightly.

"I can't agree with you about this, because I don't hate you, I love you" he confessed, like it was just a normal thing for him.

"What?" Kazuki blinked and froze, when he felt Yoshiatsu's warm lips on his own - still cold and wet from rain.

Yes, it definitely wasn't an accident. Such things don't happen without a reason.

* * *

Wind spread the clouds they could see behind the window. Warm sunshine shone through the window on naked bodies of vocalists, laying under white sheets.

They would stay like this for longer, if some furious neighbour didn't pound on the door. When Kazuki opened it, she yelled at him that her apartament is flooding because of him.

Well, sometimes you forget about things, because you're too happy to think about them. Especially about something so trivial like the fact that falling mirror broke the tap.

The end