Necessary Evil

Band: DIV

Pairing: Chobi&Chisa

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: melancholy

Note: Written after DIV's disband announcement.

It's never simple. Making such a decision only seems trivial. But it's just an illusion. Especially when you're working with people who are important for you.

Satoshi and Shougo are like brothers for me. But if I'm arguing with Satoshi all the time, what I can do? I can't be annoyed all the time. I can't lose my friend.

But I have to destroy DIV because of it. We had to announce our disband today. Oh, well. It's normal in this job.

And I would be okay with everything. With Lin, Kohaku and our other friends, who couldn't believe in it. With fans who shower us with questions and emails, full of despair. With Satoshi and Shougo, who are sadder than ever. But you know, I can't be okay with one thing.

I can't forgive myself that you are sitting on a windowsill, with head leaning on the glass and closed eyes. I can even see that you have tears in your eyes. You don't even have a cup of tea, for god's sake!

"Sachi?" I approach you slowly.

I hear you heavy breathing. You try not to cry. You try so hard.

"Sachi..."

You stop my hand, which I wanted to put on your shoulder. That's not good...

"I'm sorry" I say queitly. "I didn't want it. I wanted to depart. And you decided..."

"Our band doesn't exist without you" you say, clenching your fingers on my hand.

You don't know what to do. If you want to let me touch you or not.

"We did it together, Hiroki. We killed DIV. We killed our band."

"Sachi..."

"Stop repeating my name!" you let me go and almost fall from windowsill. "In fact, I killed it. With Shougo. But without you this band has no sense. Nothing has sense!"

"Don't yell" I say calmly. "Please."

"I just don't know, Hiroki" you loose your legs and looked at your feet. "I'm scared. Everything that I used to love, sooner or later... Disappears. Hayato said once that NEXX will last forever. And it's almost five years since it's disband."

"But what are you scared about? I was in a lot of bands. Wait" I grab your shoulders. "Do you think that if Chobi and Chisa won't be together, Hiroki and Sachi will cut contact too?"

You don't answer. You don't have too. I know everything. Besides that, your silence is the best definition of your feelings.

I sigh and hug you tightly. You are silly, you know? But I won't tell you that.

"Sachi, I love you, not Chisa. Don't be afraid, I'm not gonna go anywhere" I stick my fingers in your hair and close my eyes.

"Will you stay with me?" you ask and your breath blows through my shoulder.

"Yes."

"Forever?"

"Don't be such a hopeless romantic" I laugh. "This isn't silly story by our fangirl, who is depressed because of our disband."

"She's probably just mad at you."

"Sachi!"

I probably finally calmed you down. I hope so.

But you laugh. So it's okay.

It has to be.

Because after bad things, good things are coming, right?

The end