In his eyes

Band: Alice Nine, Kagrra,

Pairing: Saga&Shou, Tora&Akiya, Nao&Hiroto

Rating: 17+

Genre: soft angst

Warnings: based on a true story

Note: "In his eyes I've always wanted to be the best. That he would be proud to have such a protégé, a friend. I would never think I could do something that he deems pathetic. And I guess that's what I did."

Based on a true story of very disgusting joke.

Tora laughed briefly as Hiroto tripped over the threshold. He helped his friend to keep his balance and entered the wardrobe.

"And I told you to be careful" said Nao, wrapping his arm around Hiroto's waist. "But you never listen."

"I'm listening, but it' never worked" Hiroto sighed and the others laughed at him.

"Poor little squirrel" Saga muttered, still smiling. "Hey, Tora, your cellphone seems to be ringing."

"Seriously?" Tora picked up the muted phone from the cupboard. "Oh, it's Akiya. Hi, honey, is something wrong? Usually you call..."

"Turn on hands-free mode."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it" Akiya's voice was filled with anger.

"Alright, alright" Tora turned on the option Akiya asked for. "Guys, Aki would like to talk to all of us, I think so."

"You think well" the venom in Akiya's voice reached a maximum level. "Where do I begin... Are you all crazy?!"

"But what's the matter?" Hiroto was surprised.

"What's the matter? I don't know, maybe I'm talking about that you were pushing the wheelchair on which your honorable singer was sitting? Maybe that's what I mean?!"

"But Akiya, it was just a joke" explained Shou.

"A joke?! A joke is when it makes everyone around it laugh, not just whoever came up with it! Admit it, Kazumasa, it was your idea."

"Well, you're right..."

"Ah, so I was right after all!" Akiya laughed dryly. "Personally, I felt sick. Twice. When I heard about it and when I found out it was a joke. Such a joke! Can you explain to me, why you thought this kid's idea was so brilliant? Masashi? Nao? Hiroto? Saga? Anyone can explain this to me? Maybe let's start with my beloved Tora. Any suggestions?"

"I don't know, I just... I couldn't argue against it" replied Tora.

"Because what? Because it's your leader? Do you think that if Izumi had stupid ideas, all four of us were silent? Let's ignore the fact that Izumi didn't descend to this level of embarrassment."

"What level of embarrassment, Akiya, it was..." Shou stood up abruptly, speaking each word louder and louder.

Kagrra,'s ex-guitarist, however, cut him off.

"You keep quiet, sir Generous. Nao, tell me, why you let him do this."

"I stopped being a leader last year..."

"And what?! Whether you're a leader or not, you have to, I repeat, you have to notice, when someone is doing something wrong! It doesn't matter, if you are leader or not, okay? Kami-sama... Hiroto, explain to me, why did you agree to push that goddamn wheelchair?"

"Erm, I don't know, this is clumsy boy's life, I guess" Hiroto shrugged, staring at Nao fearfully.

"And if they told you to jump out of the window, you would also open your arms and fly?" Akiya sighed heavily. "Think for yourself sometimes, kid. Saga, do you have anything to add?"

"If you want to convince Kazuma to anything, you must have some super power, otherwise you can't. And for sure to change his point of view" replied Saga. "So, don't yell at me."

"I won't even comment on that" Akiya said. "Congratulations, Shou, for subjugating the band so that everyone is blindly listening to you. You even turned my Masashi into a wet sock. Bravo! It's just a pity no one can bring you upright."

"It was just a joke!" Shou grabbed Tora's cell phone. "A joke, nothing else! You have no right to judge us in this way!"

There was a moment of silence. All that was heard was Shou's gasp breathing.

"You know, Kazumasa..." Akiya thought for a moment. "Where is this smiling radiantly Shou, who was following Isshi and called him "Isshi-sama"? If this Shou would be scolded, he would apologize immedientaly. It's strange for me talking with you now, when you're acting like this. Isshi wouldn't be proud of you, Kazumasa."

Tora caught his phone at the last moment, when Shou let it go from his hand.

"Hey, Kazuma, what happened?" Saga got up and walked to Shou, who was standing with his mouth slightly parted and his eyes slowly glazing.

"Do you understand now?" asked Akiya.

"Yes" Nao nodded. "I'm sorry in the name of all band. We should be more serious."

"Murai is right, I'm sorry" Hiroto smiled weakly.

"Masashi?"

"You're right, I'm sorry" Tora sighed. "Saga and Shou would probably apologize, if Shou wouldn't crying and Saga wouldn't be himself."

Saga glared at him, still hugging crying Shou.

"...he's crying?" asked Akiya after a moment.

"Yes. He probably realized, what he had done. And now he's very sorry" explained Tora. "Would you call me this evening?"

"Yes. I'm sorry that I scolded all of you."

"You don't have to apologize, we deserved it" said Nao.

"So... Have a nice day. Bye" Akiya ended a call.

In his eyes I've always wanted to be the best. That he would be proud to have such a protégé, a friend. I would never think I could do something that he deems pathetic. And I guess that's what I did. I lowered myself to the level that even Ruki is far from.

Shou gripped the flower stalks with his fingers and pushed the heavy gate with his other hand. As he walked between the graves, he felt his knees soften and felt as if his heart was about to pop out of his chest. He was scared. As if he was really going to see him now.

"Hi, Shinohara" he said calmly, walked to the gravestone. "How are you? Look, I brought you tulips. Yellow."

Shou crouched down and put the flowers on the gravestone.

"I've done something stupid" he said, staring at Isshi's name and surname carved into the marble. "I'm sorry. I always wanted to make you proud of me. You're probalby sad now, aren't you?"

Ohara ran his fingers over the kanji that formed the dates of Isshi's birth and death.

"Too few years separate them" said Shou, sitting down on the ground. "So how do you like the flowers? They're pretty, right? The saleswoman thought it was for my girlfriend. She became sad, when I told her, who I was carrying them to."

Afternoon wind blew Shou's hair and he trembled because of it.

"It's getting cold" the vocalist smiled, covering himself with his sweater. "Do you remember? You gave me this sweater. It was so long ago..."

Shou laughed, getting up.

"Maybe I'll come here tomorrow too. I don't know. I'll see" Kazuma turned back. "I'm not gonna do something like this again. I promise. See you again, Shino."

The cemetery gate creaked softly as Shou closed it. He smiled slightly and disappeared into the crowd of passersby.

The wind opened a note attached to the bouquet...

I'm sorry, Isshi~sama.

The end