Muddy Puddle

Band: Kizu

Pairing: Yue&Lime; Kyonosuke&Reiki in the background

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: mild violence

Note: "Love is a sickness. Lungs are filled with flowers, spreading all over the body, poisoning it and stabbing skin with their thorns. The only thing person deeply in love can do, is choking with blood and waiting for death."

Mud.

Mud everywhere.

On his hair, on his face, on his clothes, even his underwear was covered with mud.

Who was that idiot, who got such an idea for a PV?

Oh, wait.

He was that idiot.

Lime sighed, floping on the ground. He was covered in mud already. He won't get more dirty, so he can at least watch the sky.

"You'll catch a cold" said Yue, looking at him from above.

In a white suit, with the sky in the background, with that concerned expression, he looked like a guardian spirit, who came to scold Lime to protect him from illness.

"I don't care" mumbled Lime, covering his eyes with his hand.

He was cold and he wanted to go home. But on the other hand, when he realised, how long he's going to wash his body...

"But I care about your health" said Yue, crounching beside Lime. "How do you want to sing, if you catch a cold?"

"Like everytime, when I'm sick and my voice is hoarse" replied Lime, turning to the side. "You don't have to panic."

Lime closed his eyes. He liked, when Yue cared about him in such way, but he hid it. He didn't want to let Yue know that he has feelings for him, because that would mean he's going to get attached to him. And the vocalist couldn't stand it, when a bond stronger than friendship was born between him and another person, because that meant suffering. He was quite cold even towards his friends. People leave, die, disappear... And they hurt each other. Everytime.

Lime blinked, when he felt that someone is covering him with something. He sat up to check a situation and then Yue covered him tightly with a light yellow, fluffy towel, which he held in his hands.

"At least cover yourself with it" he said calmly, smiling fondly.

Towel was really soft. Lime closed his eyes.

"Thanks" he said, feeling that he's losing a battle with himself.

He should probably confess his feelings for Yue already. But love isn't something good. It means aching heart, because it often gets broken, or nausea or a migraine... Sometimes limbs also hurt, because you punch the wall, or you kick something, or you fall on your knees... Anyway, Lime didn't want to feel like this again, but this fondness and care in Yue's eyes was leading him towards fire like some moth. He knew he's going to burn himself, but he wanted to touch flames anyway.

He has to go home and write to that fangirl, who wrote her number on the lemon flavored sweets box during their recent live tour. Or maybe hook up with that beautiful neighbour from the second floor. She's slim and has big breasts, so maybe he'll forget about Yue.

And maybe he really is going to do it. But first he has to take a bath and a shower, because he stinks like a swamp.

But first thing he has to do is to stop staring at Yue. But it's never been easy and never will be. Because Lime loves him. And everyone knows it. Especially Reiki.

Oh, exactly. Reiki. You should look at him to forget about any deep feelings for anyone. Why does he love such a diva as Kyonosuke? How stressful is living with this drummer for him, how much worries he has? Too much! Why does someone need that? Why people want to suffer?

"Go change your clothes" Yue got up and stroked Lime's head gently. "Before you'll get pneumonia."

Lime sighed and got up from the ground. If Yue doesn't want him to be sick, let it be that way. But maybe someone would take care of him, if he caught a cold? Besides, Lime had an impression that he's really sick already. Because love is a sickness. Lungs are filled with flowers, spreading all over the body, poisoning it and stabbing skin with their thorns. The only thing person deeply in love can do, is choking with blood and waiting for death. Or seduce this pretty neighbour at least.

* * *

Lime came back home, took off his dirty clothes and threw them into the washing machine. He could feel dry mud everywhere and it wasn't comfortable at all. He walked under the shower, poured some gel on his sponge and started scrubbing himself, washing away all this dirt and sand.

He tried to imagine that this dirt is his feelings and thoughts. He knew, how it's going to end, if he lets them to stay in his head and heart. He scrubbed his skin so hard that he finally hissed, when he felt slight pain.

Lime looked at his arm. It looked like some angry cat attacked him.

He sighed, threw his sponge against the wall and kicked the shampoo bottle. Does he have to be so stupid?

Why people fall in love, if they know that it'll never end well? Every relationship ends with falling apart. If at least one of them doesn't decide to leave, they're going to die anyway. Why humans need such suffering?

He sat down in the shower and leaned against the tiles. They were cold. His arm still stung. He was such an idiot...

* * *

Lime left the bathroom after an hour, because he decided to take a relaxing bath. He was tired of his outside and inside problems. He had enough.

And then his cellphone started ringing. Lime growled under his breath and picked it up. He dropped a towel, when he saw the screen.

Yue?

"Hello?"

"Hey. How are you? You didn't catch a cold, did you?" asked Yue.

"Everything is fine" replied Lime. "Thanks for asking."

"I wanted to be sure" explained Yue. "But I can hear it isn't."

Lime had an impression that Yue didn't want to say it, but it just slipped.

"I'm just tired" replied Lime. "Don't overreact."

Lime didn't want to worry Yue. Why would he stress and worry him? Why would he make someone upset?

"Lime..."

"If I sleep enough, I'll be okay."

"No" Lime knew that Yue shook his head. "We should talk about it tomorrow. Good night."

"Sweet dreams" replied Lime.

Lime knew one thing. Yue was right. He won't be okay.

* * *

Since morning they have been in a good mood. Reiki was yapping like crazy, laughing at every Lime's joke. Yue told them entusiastically about his next photo session. Even Kyonosuke wasn't as moody as always.

Lime looked at Yue. They were happy, right? So why his stupid heart wanted to ruin everything so much?

After practicing new material, they decided to take a break. Lime took his e-cigarrette with him and left the building.

He leaned against the wall and inhaled citrus-scented vapor. Stupid heart, stupid brain, stupid Yue, stupid everything.

"Lime?" he suddenly heard the bassist's voice. "Can we talk?"

He was laughing just a few moments ago. Now he seemed worried and serious.

"Did something happen?" asked Lime, putting his e-cigarrette into his pocket.

"You tell me" said Yue. "Something bothers you. I can see it."

"I'm just a little tired, that's all" Lime shrugged.

"And you're acting like this in my presence just because of it?" asked Yue, leaning against the wall with one hand.

Lime froze. He noticed?

"Don't be silly" Lime nudged his shoulder, smiling. "What do you mean?"

"This, probably" Yue put his hands on Lime's cheeks and kissed him.

Lime blinked.

What?

No.

Why...

Why Yue decided to ruin everything?

No, no, no.

No!

SLAP!

Yue didn't understand, what just happened. His cheek was stinging from the pain. He looked at Lime, who seemed to be embarrassed.

"Don't ruin this" said Lime, rubbing his hand. "I don't want to ruin our friendship. I don't want to risk our band's well-being, if we break up. Don't."

Yue touched his cheek. It was swollen. And the atmosphere was suffocating.

"Lime..."

"No, Yue" Lime shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Yue sighed, then he hugged Lime.

"I love you, you know?" he said calmly. "Even if you punched me and you don't want to be with me, I still love you."

"Yue...?"

"You can even kill me and it won't change anything" Yue stroked his head. "Because you're still this cute, sensitive, clumsy, grumpy, talented vocalist with a good sense of humour. Even if you're going to stab me and stand in front of me with a bloody knife."

"But..."

"And I'm sorry that I kissed you" said Yue. "I won't do it again."

Lime closed his eyes.

"I don't want to suffer, if something goes wrong" he explained.

"So you prefer suffering, because you didn't even try?"

"What? I... No. Maybe...?" Lime moved away from Yue and looked at him in shock.

He...

He was right.

...

Oh, fuck these negative thoughts! Humans are just masochists. And maybe he is a masochist too. Because why not. Because no one can forbid it.

For sure not Reiki, who started clapping immediatelly, when Lime stood on his toes and kissed Yue.

For how long was he standing there...?

Does't matter. Lime decided to kill him later. For now Yue's lips were too soft and sweet.

Even if everything is going to crumble to dust in the future, let's screw the future. Everything, which was important, was there and now. And nothing more.

The end