Shallow sleep

Band: Belle

Pairing: Masato&Akiya

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance

Warnings: -

Note: Akiya has a big trouble with sleeping and a broken heart. Will at least one of his problems disappear?

His sleep always has been shallow since he remembered. Everything could wake him up, no matter if it was legendary metalic ball rolling on the neighbours' floor at 2AM or some person slamming their car's door outside. And if he woke up, he couldn't sleep anymore and at some point he used to decide to do something, because he couldn't just lay down and stare at the ceiling with hope that he'll fall asleep soon.

Just like now.

Akiya closed his eyes. Really? Pigeons' cooing woke him up?

Fuck this shit.

He sat up, putting his quilt away and looked at his bass standing against the wall, then he looked at the clock.

Oh, it's just after 3AM. Wonderful. He has a lot of time to write at least two songs.

He won't fall asleep anymore. He's been trying for half an hour at this point and he was tired of this already. When you're trying to fall asleep and you can’t, it's annoying and frustrating. Especially that it wasn't the first situation like this during this week and his body didn't function well anymore. But he still couldn't sleep. And when he tried to sleep, but couldn't, he started getting angry that he can't, so his blood-pressure was high and...

Well, everything was in vain.

He went to the kitchen, made himself tea and put a pot with rice on the stove. It would be for breakfast. He was craving onigiri with some fish.

He came back to his bedroom and sat down at the desk. He opened his notebook and thought for a moment, how to put his whole frustration into music.

He would probably write a ballad. Like he subcounsciously wanted to put himself to sleep with another composition.

But this time it wasn't that simple at all. His hand was trembling, his vision was blurred and he felt dizzy. On top of that he didn't focus on his task at all.

Akiya thought that it has to be something really wrong with him, when he burned rice twice. He decided that he shouldn't cook anything by himself this day and he put the burned pot into the dishwasher.

Or maybe he should throw it away already?

"Stupid body" he murmured under his breath.

The last time something like this happened to him, when he was still in Aube. But they had a break then, because they just returned from the live tour and he could relax. And now they're working on an album with Belle and he can't afford a day off.

Akiya rubbed his temples. He's thinking too much about it. He has to slow down, because he might soon trip and fall.

Then he realised that his cellphone was ringing. He went to the bedroom and took it from the night stand. Screen informed him happilly that the one, who's calling him, is Masato.

Yeah... Masato... Known also as a drummer of their band and younger brother of Yoshito and Ena from xTripx. Well, the latter is now in Dauto and introduces himself by his real name.

In Akiya's head Masato was describes as "A man you love, but he dumped you, because he's still suffering after what his ex did to him".

Akiya sighed and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi" he heard Masato's voice. "I had to do some errands before the rehearsal and I'm going to pass by your home soon. Do you want me pick you up?"

"Of course" Akiya smiled slightly, feeling both happiness and sadness, because he knew that he won't have Masato for himself anyway.

Masato explained this to him before, well, firmly.

Too firmly.

"I'll be here right away" announced Masato. "Wakita?"

"What?" Akiya got used to the fact that Yumehito and Masato call him like this.

Haro probably was the only one, who didn't do this at least once.

"Your voice sounds a little weird. Something happened?" asked Masato.

"No. And you're not driving using only one hand, right?"

"I put you on a speaker, mum" Masato laughed. "But I really have a feeling that something is wrong. You sound like you're sick."

"No, I just..." started Akiya and...

He didn't know, what he wanted to say. That he's dizzy or maybe that he's nauseaous?

He just knew that he found himself on the floor a little too fast. And he couldn't just "faint a little", so he fainted normally.

* * *

Akiya blinked. He heard some muffled noises, but he didn't know, what it was or where it was. Only after a while he realised that it was punching at the door.

He felt dizzy and nauseaous. His head hurt, probably because of hitting the floor. And his ex kept telling him that they should buy new carpet for the kitchen, but he ignored her. And he should've listened to Chou, maybe he wouldn't feel so terrible right now.

Loud thud with bang and crash. He didn't have strengh to check, what it was. He didn't have strengh to even open his eyes. But he had a feeling that if he opens his eyes, he'll throw up immediately.

"Akiya!" he suddenly heard a voice and felt that his heart did a flip.

...Masato?

"For gods' sake..."

He heard loud footsteps. Someone grabbed his hands and legs and lifted him.

He opened his eyes a little.

Yes, Masato. Frightened Masato. One of his sleeves was worn and almost torn.

"I'm alive..." announced Akiya, but his own voice scared him.

Or the fact, how weak it was.

"Good" said Masato, releasing his hands. "Your door aren't. I'll pay for it. But now we have to go to the hospital. And don't argue with me."

"As you wish..." mumbled Akiya, realising that Masato picked him up and now is carrying him in his arms.

If he had any chance... And if he didn't feel so sick... It would be really nice...

* * *

The doctor didn't tell Akiya anything he hadn't known already. He knew he's exhaused and doesn't sleep well. Masato was waiting for him behind the door. He was sitting on the chair and playing some mobile game.

"I'm okay" announced Akiya, standing in front of him.

Masato flinched, snapped out of his thoughts.

"Good" Masato smiled and got up, putting his phone in his pocket. "Do you think that your neighbour really watched over your flat?"

"She treats me like her own silly grandson, so I trust her" replied Akiya and swayed a little, but Masato caught him.

His touch was soft and nice. But it still burned. Like needles were piercing Akiya's body, even if they were hidden in a pillow.

They had to reapair the door, so Akiya had to sleep somewhere else. Haro immediately invited Akiya to his house, saying that Haru won't mind, but Masato told them that he's going to take care of the bassist. Even if Akiya protested. Even if Haro knew, why Akiya protested and even if Masato knew it too. It's possible that even Haro's boyfriend knew, why.

* * *

Akiya looked at the blue-green pill, which he was supposed to take before sleep. It should work fast and long. He was sitting in his pajamas, on the futon, in Masato's apartment.

Akiya sighed and swallowed the pill, drank some water and laid down comfortably. He closed his eyes and let his mind calm down. He fell asleep pretty fast, but...

He woke up in the middle of night, when something bumped into the window. He didn't know, what it was. He even didn't want to know.

He felt totally powerless. He sat up and looked at the wall.

And what? He's going to stay awake for a whole night again?

He took some deep breaths. It's okay. He'll fall asleep soon.

He laid down again and closed his eyes. Even if he wasn't anxious, he couldn't sleep for the next hour. Again.

Akiya howled like a beaten dog, covering his face with a pillow. Then he got up and walked towards Masato's bedroom. He didn't know, why. But maybe it's going to calm him down...

Akiya stood in the treshold and looked at sleeping Masato. His light brown hair scattered over the pillow. He was breathing steadily and looked so calm that Akiya felt a sting in his heart.

Stupid Amane. How could he cheat on someone like Masato? How could he lied to him for months? How could he hurt him so much that he closed himself off from the world? How? Just how? And he just disappeared without a trace after the whole situation. They only knew he's alive.

Akiya sat down next to Masato's futon and thought for a moment, if he really wanted to wake him up. But Masato opened his eyes anyway, a little confused.

"Wakita?" he looked at him and rubbed his eyes. "What happened, why are you not asleep?"

"I don't know" replied Akiya and hugged Masato. "I really don't know. I took pills, but even now..."

He was tired. He was so tired. So why he still couldn't sleep? Why his body didn't want to cooperate with him?

Masato froze for a moment, like he didn't know, what to do, then he gently embraced Akiya and stroked his head.

"I have... a silly idea" he said like had troubles with it. "You can always... sleep... here?"

Akiya frowned. What is he talking about?

"Here?"

"Of course."

"With you?"

"...yes?"

"You're kidding" Akiya moved away from Masato. "What the fuck are you doing? Isn't it enough for you that I had to move on after you rejected my feelings? Now you really want to give me false hope to calm me down, so I can fall asleep? Because what? Because I have this stupid insomnia? That's why..."

"Stop!" Masato grabbed his shoulders. "Stop. I love you, okay? I'm scared, because when I feel deep emotions, I immediately remember, what Rui... Amane... However you want to call him... What he did to me. But I want to try. I wanted to tell you this morning, but you fainted and... And I thought that maybe tomorrow... But I saw, how distressed you are right now and... For gods' sake, lay down and don't whine, why me and my brother have to love such tsunderes?"

Akiya blinked.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes. Will you lay down or not?" Masato looked like he prefered to run away than letting him be so close.

"Prove it" said Akiya. "Why should I trust you that you don't pretend only because you want me to relax?"

"Oh, come on!" Masato put his hands on Akiya's cheeks and kissed him.

He did it a little angrily, but gently at the same time.

And he was right as always. In his arms Akiya fell asleep easy. It seems that sometimes you just need another person to make everything okay.

The end