Silent voice

Band: Kizu

Pairing: Yue&Lime; Kyonosuke&Reiki in the background

Rating: 17+

Genre: slice of life

Warnings: based on real events

Note: Based on this one event, which had to be cancelled after break, because Yue was taken to the hospital.

In fact, it's you who always take cares of us. You're our band mum, who cares for everyone, cares about everything and probably thinks about preparing bento boxes, so that we eat well.

So I thought that when we went to a shop promotion of our stuff one day of March, nothing bad would happen. You're always watching. Even if I am a leader.

"Lime. Lime. Lime. Lime. Lime" Reiki was poking me, repeating my nickname over and over.

"Reiki, do this one more time and I swear that I'm gonna tie you up with strings from your" he poked my cheek "guitar. Reiki!"

"What?" he asked, pulling my hair.

I swear that I'm gonna drown him.

"Reiki, leave him alone..." Kyonosuke leaned on his arm. "Because I won't give you your bisquits."

"What?! How dare you?!" shouted Reiki, crossing his arms.

"Yes, I'm the oldest one here" you commented our conversation, ruffling my and Reiki's hair.

I had the slight feeling that your eyes were dim today. As if something was wrong with you.

"Yue?" I put my hand on your forehead. "Are you okay?"

It wasn't warm, but it was even too cold.

"Are you cold?" I asked.

"A little" you replied. "I'm a little slugish today."

"Maybe you want to sit down?" I asked, but you shook your head.

"I'll be okay" you smiled radiantly and I believed you.

I shouldn't, but you aren't me and you usually talk about your poor condition.

But I think that even you didn't know that something like that would happen.

"But tell me, if something happened" I asked you.

You nodded.

"Kyono!" I turned to our bandmates.

They of course didn't notice anything. They were too preoccupied with their banter and antics.

"I also feel that I'm older than them" I said and you laughed because of this.

It was just before photo session. I was adjusting the sleeves of my jacket, when I felt your hand on my shoulder.

"I feel dizzy..." it was everything you could say, because...

...I had to catch you a moment after. 

Your legs buckled under you and you fell to the floor without any of the grace that usually accompanied you.

So what if I bruised my knees during this action?

"Yue?!" I heard Reiki's voice and this was the moment, when I realised that this seriously isn't joke and I'm holding you in my arms, kneeling on this cold floor.

Later everything happened slow and fast at the same time. I felt like I was in a trance. The images moved in slow motion and people spoke terribly slurredly.

Everything was behind the fog. You were behind the fog and it was you, who I was holding in my arms.

That was the first time I heard it. That silent voice asking me, why I'm so worried actually.

You woke up after a long moment, when Kyonosuke lifted your legs and I did the same with your hands. Reiki brought you water.

We had to cancel the photo shoot. We also had to take you to the hospital. And I had to start shutting down that silent voice that talked about you all the time for the next six months. With every smile, gesture and kind word you made, it grew louder and louder, roaring in my ears and causing dreams I didn't understand.

And I had to admit that I have feelings for you. Even if I didn't want to. Even a little. I was annoyed, because my mind wanted something which I didn't want and I didn't need and...

...and even Kazuki laughed at me.

Do you understand? Kazuki. Laughed.

So I didn't accept this reality. This reality, in which I was so hopelessly in love with you and in which Reiki was leaning over my shoulder after every rehearsal, asking me, when I'll finally tell you, what I feel.

Until you didn't ask me, if I want to suffer alone or with you.

I chose the second option.

And now we could take care of each other.

The end