Sweet Liqueur

Band: D=OUT&xTripx

Pairing: Reika&Naoto, mentioned Naoto&Shougo

Rating: 17+

Genre: romance, soft angst

Warnings: melancholy, alcohol

Note: "My friend had strong nerves. Even too strong. And when something happened that surprisly strained him, only three things could comfort him - sweets, alcohol and sex."

I knew that I'll find him here.

My friend had strong nerves. Even too strong. And when something happened that surprisly strained him, only three things could comfort him - sweets, alcohol and sex. And nothing more.

That's why, as I walked down the stairs and saw a man in a sweater sitting at the bar, I knew it was him.

"Hi" I sat next to him.

"Hello" he replied.

He wasn't drunk. I've known him for so long that I know, how much he had drank. Ena has never liked alcohol and was drinking only because of special events or because of sadness.

I prefered calling him by a name.

"Second?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"First. You came quickly" he said.

He lied. I could recognize it.

"He still doesn't talk to you?" I looked at him.

"Still" he nodded.

"But you know, why he broke up with you, right?" I haven't asked him about it before.

"He doesn't want to explain it to me" replied Naoto and gulped down his half drink.

It was seriously bad. I didn't know that he can drink so much alcohol at once.

"So when he was in xTripx, he was still talking to you, but now..."

"But now he's not. Can we not talk about it?" Naoto's tone of voice was... Actually, what?

"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to help you" I said, putting my hand on his shoulder.

However, Naoto got up and smacked my hand.

"Nobody can help me" he mumbled and staggered.

I grabbed his arm, because I didn't want to see him fall. Sometimes he was dizzy because of stress. Especially, when he was a little drunk.

"Naoto" I even don't know, when I also got up.

All I know is that I was still holding his arm and this time he didn't protest.

"We're alone here" sighed Naoto. "Nobody came."

"Not a woman" I noticed. "But I am here."

I don't know at what point the unbuttoned shirt under the cardigan and Naoto's mouth became so sexy that, much to the disgust of the bartender watching us, I kissed my friend.

But I did it. And he kissed me back.

"Reika?"

"I can be Minoru tonight."

* * *

When I was laying in the bed at six o'clock, I was thinking, how bad it is. How exhausted psychically was Naoto that for the first time in his life he forgot about his man's pride and lallowed me to be on top. 

Maybe when they switched roles with Shougo, but yes, he was never anyone's uke.

Until this day. Mine.

It didn't surprise me that he mumbled Shougo's name in his sleep. But the fact that he sprang to a sitting position, breathing shallowly and with horror in his eyes... It wasn't normal.

I have never seen him having a nightmare. He didn't even tell me about any of them.

He was absent at breakfast. He didn't have a hangover, because he would have swear. And he just kept quiet.

"Are you okay?"

Naoto nodded.

"Do you like this onigiri?"

Naoto nodded.

"Did you know that Kouki is an alien?"

Naoto nodded.

He didn't listen to me at all.

* * *

I was leaning on the doorframe and I was watching as Naoto was tying his shoes. His eyesight was blank. As if something had eaten his soul.

My Buddha, how I wanted to punch Shougo for what he did to my friend.

For breaking him. Even if that terribly skinny dog person wouldn't have had a chance to defend himself.

I went to the wardrobe and took out a scarf.

"Naoto?" I called him.

He looked at me, confused.

"Yes?"

"We are men" I said, walking to him. "And that's why we can't show our emotions."

Naoto stood up and leaned over a wall.

"Society forces us to hide emotions" I continued. "Since we are little. Nobody wants see our tears. Even ourselves. And they don't want to hear our crying."

I pulled out my phone and headphones from my pocket. I put the headphones on.

"Cover my eyes" I handed him the scarf and he shook his head in disbelief.

"You are imposibble, Minoru" he said, but he took the scarf and tied it over my eyes.

I opened my arms and Naoto hugged me.

I didn't hear him cry. I didn't see. But I could feel, how my shoulder is getting wet and how he shakes.

Fourteen years of acquaintance.

Twelve of friendships.

Five of relationship.

For more than half of his twenty-five years, Shougo was somewhere nearby. And now suddenly he didn't even want to talk to him.

That hurt. I guessed it hurt a lot more than before.

Because there was always sex after eating something sweet and having three drinks. But for five years with the same person. And even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have had a chance to replace Shougo. If Naoto didn't even care about honor and being a seme, could anyone do it?

No.

A heart crushed into five million tiny crystals can't be put back together in one night.

The end